A Doc's Life is a underground Medical Blog about some poor Singapore doctors. They are sibei sian and very buay song. Best practices not observed!
(Warning: Grammar is non existent in this blog. Those obsessively compulsive about good English please go no further and book an appointment to see your psychiatrist in Singapore.)

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Cross Breeding

A doctor-doctor relationship invariably breaks down when the man doctor realizes the woman doctor has no intention to give up her practice to start a family. Of course those female chavinist will argue: "Why not the man give up his career???" But we all know very well that if the man did that, he will still lose his woman. Who are we kidding, DOH!

While its attempts at inbreeding might have failed, the fish does not swim far beyond its pond to look for a new prey. It usually cross breeds with other species within the hospital same pool of water.

By natural selection, nurses become the target of choice. Of course we are not talking about senior senior senior staff nurses like Suzie and Wuzie here (read this). Those belong in our hall of fame simply on the terms of their antiquity. We are talking about young and pretty little Missies just fresh from nursing school. Let Dr Og warn you here that there ARE wolf-doctors in sheepskins preying on these young impressionable girls. Though on the same note, there are girls who became nurses with the sole aim of marrying a doctor. Of course these blacksheeps belong to the minority and are prolly regressive individuals who never got beyond uniform fetishism.

The majority of doctors are really just dorks when it comes to the affairs of the heart. However don't we just LOVE those protocols and clinical pathways! Allow Dr Og to guide you with the all new, validated Og's Pathway of Finding True Love In Hospital:

Step 1: Research
I'm not trying to ask you to go and get a PI to investigate the girl lah . Background research is essential to find out if the ger is already attached (means no hope liao) or if she is even remotely interested. The best way is to ask the other nurses (never mind being laughed at!). One of my colleague made the mistake of asking a soft spoken Staff Nurse for a date without first finding out that she did not like short plumbish doctor with receding hairline who are 10 years older than herself. She screamt her head off and ran away.

Step 2: Induction
In kindergarten, you expressed your love by pulling the girl's hair. You can very much do the same in the wards though Dr Og really doubt that the nurse you are interested in will appreciate it very much. Try instead to induce some feelings by arguing about why the patient required hourly monitoring or refusing to set a new plug for the one she had dislodged again.

Step 3: Reconciliation
If you successfully created some sparks with the man-made friction and avoided getting yourself burnt with a complaint, you know you can proceed further. Now is the time to buy her some hot drinks from the vending machine during the cold and lonely night calls. She will appreciate the fact that you remember her despite a busy call though you really just wanted to do things on the sly for fear of getting ridicued!

Step 4: Look, Listen, Feel
Look to see if she recipocrate. Suddenly, your plugs stop dislodging mysteriously and your morning bloods are all taken.
Listen for any rumours or gossips amongst her jie mei. If she is to reject you, it is likely she will be broadcasting your antics as a joke to the whole world.
Feel. Not asking you to feel her all over! At this stage, you will just end up arrested. Feel instead for the vibes!

Step 5: Group therapy
Things are going your way but you are shy and she is shy. So how? It is now time to invite other doctors and nurses for an outing in a group. You can ask her for her handphone number on the pretext of the outing. This will be a chance for you to get to know her outside the hospital setting. (And also to see if she looks good in something other than her uniform!)

Step 6: Individual Therapy
During the group outings, create some opportunities to be with her alone. Volunteer to drive her home. Set up the next date with her alone! You are almost done!

Step 7: Boundary Setting
Like the cat, you must set up boundaries and declare the territory yours. Unlike the cat, urintating is not going to work. Set up a spy network of doctors and nurses to monitor for any invading enemies. If you find any other doctors trying step 1 to 6 with your ger, bring him to one corner and sort things out. If not, get your friends to blanket him (provided he is more junior than you)!

Attempts to bluff xiao mei mei to the call room in your birthday suit will earn you an automatic expulsion from the faternity!

27 comments:

  1. Anonymous12:15 PM

    My first taggy! A nice blog you have here. (:

    Now that my bf is back in the hospital, I hope he doesn't read this entry. I definitely don't want him going after the missies! Laughs...

    But then again, won't it be at least alittle inconvenient to have a partner working in the same environment as you do?

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  2. Anonymous1:13 PM

    Any tips for females? Fewer choices for us as we can't possibly go after the nurses.

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  3. hehehehe....oh gosh, am i feeling sorry for the male doctor species now. you guys have to do so much? Just ask, then pray lor....this method works in Science although we believe in the Big Bang, heheheeh...

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  4. Dear AMS, would you trust me if I say stick to doctors for a partner? My banker, lawyer and IT friends tend to stray quite a bit. doctors never have the time or energy to do so!

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  5. Anonymous7:13 PM

    Dear Dr blo og,

    you are mistaken! I know of so many doctors who are unfaithful or who are eyeing some other woman!

    It is shocking frankly. But your tale of inbreeding continues post marriage. ie affairs are also incestuous!

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  6. Anonymous7:20 PM

    great CCP u have come up with! yeah! mayb u can put into the suggestion box.. but i dunno if there is monetary reward.. hoho!!

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  7. Anonymous8:11 PM

    dr blog you not very busy what. got time to blog. so i guess most drs got time to eye other woman. so bad choice

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  8. Anonymous8:46 PM

    yah dr bl og, pls pls give tips on how poor ger-ger docs can score a hit within the hospital. now that the new nursing school is starting soon, the guys have an even wider choice lor on top of pharmacy, no fair!!

    @cat meow2: try the chruch darlin', practically all the guy docs who have gfs/wives outside of med/healthcare found them in their congregation.

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  9. Anonymous8:53 PM

    Am i AMS?

    Actually doctors do stray. My brother's friend, who worked in the same hospital as him, divorced his wife ( who was an accountant i think) and hooked up with a female doctor.

    But sometimes it is good to have someone in the same profession as you. you can understand each other better. LIke it or not, many doctors make their work a major part of their lives.

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  10. Anonymous9:48 PM

    although anyone might say drs are so busy for everything,
    but being in a female majority environment...
    nt everyone can stand wif this type of temptation!
    and also,
    most nurses says tt they wud nv hook up a dr(highly doubted)!

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  11. Anonymous10:57 PM

    oh man..does this work for medical students? lolx

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  12. Anonymous11:21 PM

    What if a ger ger doc likes some doc in hospital... what to do next? Wait till the sky falls down? Does the Og's pathway still apply?

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  13. anon @ 1121 pm, try dropping a handkerchief or something, learnt that from a stephen chow movie.

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  14. Anonymous11:51 PM

    Just an interesting point I've noted, attractive male med students are in the minority but fast forward 2 years and there are a large number of extremely cute male MOs who are, suddenly and unfortunately, married! What happens in between?

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  15. Anonymous11:56 PM

    some mutations gone horribly wrong..

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  16. huh? dr og, does it really work or not?

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  17. Anonymous1:36 AM

    Maybe because the extremely cute MOs used to be med students studying australia. We have quite a good variety of good looking singapore med students studying in Australia.

    Why are these cute MOs married? Because they were seduced by the pretty singapore med students studying in australia. lol.

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  18. dear female med student, what happens is that when the female med stud graduates and suffers through HOship or is trying to fight for traineeship during first year MO, the guys are all quietly snapped up.

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  19. Anonymous4:55 PM

    there's still me.

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  20. dear hunky med stud, you send me photo so that the other more honest male students here can use as dart board!

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  21. Anonymous8:09 PM

    australian med student: so you've been taking them all! :( This is very bad for the government's reproductive policies you know?

    dr bl og: I still don't get it, you mean the male MOs don't have to fight through the same things at the same time? What happened to the whole "suffer together and fall into each other's arms" thing?

    hunky med student: No comment. :P

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  22. Anonymous9:29 PM

    hmm..cross breeding..any hints for non-doctors HP staff on how to catch attention of the doctors?

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  23. Anonymous9:01 AM

    how to attract handsome young doctors?

    for nurses, try wearing very tight and shirt uniforms.

    for female drs, dress seductively.

    for pharmacists, no hope for you lar.

    just kidding .

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  24. Anonymous9:02 AM

    for nurses wear short uniforms i mean. sorry typo

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  25. Anonymous2:10 AM

    my boyfriend is a medical student.. and i'm a pharmacy student. what do u mean by 'no hopes for pharmacists?' so insulting... I don't think there's much link between one's profession and their spouses.. it's a matter of fate and the 'trends' we observe now are by and large, coincidental.

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  26. yup, I always bio pharmacy students during out combined lectures last time. But they boh hue me!! :(

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  27. Anonymous10:35 PM

    sure will hue you.

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