Thank you all for the lively debate (quarrel rather) for my previous post. I declare the winner to be Australia. Seems like doctors are fed up with patients and the public even more so with doctors. And everyone thinks that immigrating to Australia is a solution to their grievances.
Until then, you chaps will still be stuck here (too bad) and the long queue in most clinics will not be improving anytime soon. So let Dr Og tell you ten things you must bring along for your next appointment to beat the waiting game!
1) Handphones are a requisite! Other than making calls to tell your boyfriend you will be late (again), girls can call their jie mei and gossip about the latest BGR in the office. You can also use it to knock the head of the chee ko pek who tries to sit too close to you. Most importantly, pretend to be calling the hosptial complaint unit in front of the counter so that they will put you to the front of the queue!
2) MP3 player. Some stupid people will forget to switch off their hp when they pretend to complain and the phone starts ringing from an incoming call! If that happens, you will automatically be thrown to the back of the queue! This is when your MP3 player comes in handy. What better to do than to listen to podcast? (Dr BL Og's podcast of Hokkien Kwa akan datang!) The Ipod is a perfect match for the hospital environment with its white sanitary look.
3) You must bring your favourite tidbits so that you have something to bite as you wait. Melon seeds and peanuts are highly recommended. You can scatter the shells all over the floor and make a mess in revenge for the long wait!!!!
4) Better also prepare some chrysanthemum tea or not wait eat too much nuts very HEATY! (Also please rinse your mouth before you see your doctor. Bad breathe is just not a good way to build rapport.)
5) Mr Bean's mask. Better to wear a mask before you pop your head into the doctor's consultation room to see what the hell he is doing taking so long. Like that he won't recognize you and be nasty later! You might just want to hide your face especially if its the Kelantan Clinic you are waiting at. (Mr Bean's mask is available for SIN$99.95, email me!)
6) Paper. Might as well note down whatever you want to tell the doctor so that you won't miss a thing during the one minute consultation!! Just shove it into his face and he will have to do your bidding!!!! You can also fold paper aeroplanes if you are really really bored (and Dr Og's out of tune podcast hokkien kua does not interest you!).
7) Pen. What do you want to write on the paper with??? Anyway sometimes you might need to sign certain documents and you sure don't want to use the doctor's pen. Who knows where he last poke his fingers????
8) Prepare some coins so as to buy more tidbits and drinks at the vending machine when you run out of your own supply! Coins are also good for tossing: heads means my turn next, tails means I gotta wait longer!
9) Did you know that some hospitals are WAP ready??? Now you can bring your laptop and serve the internet as you wait! Research on your own illness and beat the doctors in their own game!!!!!! (You can also keep refreshing sgdr.blogspot.com!)
10) Bring a mirror. Some of the patients look like ghosts after the long wait (no fault of theirs). Please brush off the cobwebs on your hair before you leave the clinic and go take bus.