A Doc's Life is a underground Medical Blog about some poor Singapore doctors. They are sibei sian and very buay song. Best practices not observed!
(Warning: Grammar is non existent in this blog. Those obsessively compulsive about good English please go no further and book an appointment to see your psychiatrist in Singapore.)

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Tips on How to Make Your Doctor Like You (Part 2)

Last week, Dr Og teach you how to make your doctor like you. If you haven't try better quick quick. There are of course lots of research to show that if your lokun like you, he will treat you better. Even the char kway teow uncle will give you more hum if he likes you right?

Here comes some more tips!

4. Listen (After You Talk)

You are after all C-O-N-S-U-L-T-I-N-G your doctor (and paying to do so), so its only right that you L-I-S-T-E-N to the consult (to make your money worth it). Many patients switch off when they are told things they do not want to hear and when sh#t hits the wall, they will claim "Wah, Loctor why you neh tell me don't take meh-cine will be so jialat."

Wah lau... Dr Og told you so and also judiciously documented it down in the case notes ok. But you weren't listening, were you. Not likable at all... humph.

5. Self Diagnosis and Treatment

Being ke kiang and demanding your doctor to give you treatment for the diagnosis you think you have is not likable at all lah. Yes, you can Google about your symptoms but you did not spend 5 years in medical school, one (tortuous) year as a Houseman and another 4-5 years in specialty training. You did not spend thousands of hours seeing and treating thousands of patients with the same problem.

Even if you more clever than the doctor, pretend pretend a bit. Trust me, when the doctor sayang you, the injection also not so painful one.

Anyway if you really so so clever, you don't need to see and doctor or to have him like you. Press Alt-F4.

6. Assuming Responsibility

And if you so clever and you think you can self diagnose and self treat like taking a selfie on your smart phone, please also take responsibility for the risk you put yourself in hor.

Aunty (from last post): "Lokun I ok liao, the medicine I stop liao, can har?""
Dr: No la, best continue la. You choose to stop anything happen not my pasar ok."
Aunty: "Means I can stop la, can har, you say one har!"

One month later...

Aunty Angry: "Wah lokun you say can stop, see now so jialat, you bluff me ar!!!"
Aunty's Son: "Wah lokun, why you tell my mother to stop medicine??? You sabo ar, I port you to hospital!"

Now even the son is unlikable, hai...

7. Maiming or Killing Your Doctors

If your doctor is dead, he really cannot like you. Attacking him will really do no good to your patient doctor relationship because there will be none left. If you really don't like your doctor just change la and maybe the next doctor same pattern as you. 

In China, doctors are frequently attacked and sometimes killed by buay song patients and relatives. Some of you may say orbid good since the doctors there take bribes and angbaos and some of you may laugh it off since Singapore is like the safest place in the world. But low crime  being threatened and even actual physical violence are not so uncommon. Nowadays, doctors kennah thrown hot milk and infected needles and even tiok kicked ar!

Why so liddat? The doctor will be so scared that he will be standing at least ten feet from you during consult liao, the stethoscope where got long enough?

Aiyah, its really easy for your doctors to like you. Just be patient, polite and nice (how hard is that right?). Being liked by your doctor will bring unprecedented privileges and extra KY jelly before the fingers do the walking.....

Sunday, April 12, 2015

Tips on How to Make Your Doctor Like You

So you really want your doctor to like you ar? If not you wouldn't have ended up in this page from Google search right? Don't be shy, you are just one of the many Lokun Worshippers out there. (For stalkers out there, to read the special how to make your doctor LOVE you post, press Alt F4 now!)

And what if you don't like to lick like a doctor? Yes, you will be treated equally whether your doctor like you or not... but you will be treated more equally if your doctor does. After all, as much as you doctor lovers refuse to believe it, we are humans after all.

So if you will like a gentle per rectal examination (with a prostate massage extra service), here are some tips on how to make your doctor really like you:

1. Punctuality

Yes, sometimes you need to wait a bit when you are on time. But you have to know, doctors are egomaniacs and you will damage their egos if you make them wait for you instead. So if you guai guai come early, your doctor will really appreciate la. Even if you need to wait long long, so what? It is all worth it because your doctor will like you! If he ever even offer a hint of apology for making you wait, quickly counter apologize for causing him to apologize. In this way, both of you can quickly get over the "why you always late" and "why need to wait so long" issues and focus on the medical problem at hand.

2. Gifts

Dr Og has received all sorts of weird stuff from patients, including stuff toys, belts (yes belts!) and some suspiciously used objects. Most patients would present normal gifts like fruit hampers or bring us some drinks and food.

Honestly, no need la. 

No Ang Baos please! Singapore doctors cannot be bribed. Do not even try giving us anything more than $10 in value as your doctor then has to waste time to declare this to Human Resource. Most of the time gifts that are of substantial value will be sold off and proceeds donated to hospital endowment funds.

The best stuff Dr Og has received are thank you notes or cards to say tell us that they are better. A simple thank you never fails to melt your doctor's heart, boost his morale and improve your likability!

3. Talk

The patients that Dr Og definitely cannot tahan are those who refuse to talk.

Dr Og: "Aunty, simi tai chee" (Madam, what ails you?)
Aunty sulks: "......"

Dr Og: "Aunty, li si tolo boh ho sei" (Madam, where do you feel unwell?)
Aunty continues to sulk: "......"

Dr Og: "Wah lau, li mai kong wei, mai liao si kang, er bai ka lai la, lua kau lang jin zuay la" (Perhaps you will like to think about what your problem is and come in later?)
Aunty finally squeezes a line: "Wa simi tai chee, li si lokun kuah buay chut meh? Li si simi lokun?" (I got what problem you cannot see with your eyes is it!)

 It is absolutely ok to write down in point form, what you will like to communicate with your doctor. In fact this is an efficient way to let your doctor know your problems. Avoid coming into the consult with pages and pages of prose as your doctor immediately knows you are a kan cheong spider and your likability drops to rock bottom.

To be continued...

Wednesday, April 01, 2015

Thank you, LKY

If you have followed my blog (and if you allow me to be narcissistic enough to think that I have fans who do), you would know that I am not the die-die-must-be-doctor type of doctor. Nor do I think that being a doctor is prestigious. There is also nothing elitist about being a doctor and you know that when those property agents don't really give two hoots about you when you go kay poh at launches.

Nevertheless, I have to acknowledge that doctoring does bring to the table a stable and good paying job. Many people still think that being a doctor is a big deal and many doctors still want their children to become doctors. I have many classmates who studied medicine because their doctor parents wanted them to. There are plenty of Dr families out there where the whole clan is in the medical field one way or the other.

Unfortunately, Dr Og is the low EQ and blur like sotong (that's why I hide in my clinic write blog) type and I am totally unaware of who is who and whose lao pek is who in medicine. For some strange reasons, I have no inclination towards 关系 building. I had zero connection when applying to get into medical school. I went through medical school without ever trying to network or rub shoulders with the who and who because I was totally blur about these things. As a junior doctor, I shied away from even going for department gatherings and if I had to, I cringed every time I see junior drs try and angkat the senior doctors and HODs. When I became more senior, I often find out too late that that junior dr I just gave an earful is the son or daughter of so and so (not that it would have made a difference).

Despite my limited EQ, I think I managed ok in my career. I was judged or at least I felt I was judged by my work, and not by my background (I had none) or by who I associated with. There are of course the typical stories of how so and so got into medical school because of a certain connection and how some cannot-make-it HOs / MOs got their traineeship in those prestigious specialties because their fathers and mothers were so and so. I would be a fool to think that favourtism or cronyism do not exist in some form or another in Singapore, but at least where I have worked, it is as minimal as it can get anywhere in the world. Despite all these, there was more than enough meritocracy for us, the unconnected sons and daughters of unconnected people, to get by.

We have our founding Prime Minister, Mr Lee Kuan Yew, to thank for a system based on meritocracy. I don't think I need to belabour the points given that there have been ample broadcasts about Mr Lee's ethos in nation building. Much have been said about him. Nothing more for me to say except... Thank you!

Monday, September 08, 2014

Happy Mid Autumn Festival

Time flies and the mid autumn festival comes and goes each year.

Dr Og is not really a festive kind of person but mid autumn festival is a much lesser evil than dong dong chiang CNY. The music is not so annoying and relatives not so many (actually no need) to visit. So Dr Og can still tahan bring my gin nahs go jalan jalan with their plastic battery operated lanterns. If you are like Dr Og and cannot stand loud noise type, remember to bring a pen knife. No, no, no not to cut yourself if you buay tahan your life. But to cut the wire to the annoying music thingie in the lantern that keeps repeating that 90s-pop-song-I-no-longer-remember-the-name. The thing though, like a bomb, you either cut the red wire or the blue wire. If you cut the wrong wire, you end up with a lantern which does not light up and a crying kid that cannot stop. So surgeons don't try. Surgeons can cut human bodies coz human bodies will heal. Lanterns won't. Plus, anyone who cannot read guidelines to treat hypertension really shouldn't be cutting electrical wires.

Nowadays, seems like pharmaceutical companies under a lot of heat. The drug companies used to like to bombard Drs (especially surgeons) with mooncakes. Now it seems with new regulations, mooncakes cannot be given. Doh... come on la, doctors will not be swayed by the pharma companies by some mooncakes ok. Otherwise, you won't hear of so many of those sex scandals right???Last time everyone also give,  how to favour any company. Anyway, most doctors are sibei health conscious, most of the mooncakes also give away la.

Mooncakes now come in all sorts of shapes and sizes... and flavour. You've of course heard of the butt mooncakes. At least that is clever la, coz 八月十五 (15 August which is the date of mid autumn festival ((you shouldn't be reading this if you don't already know))) mean butt in Cantonese. But some of the rubbish that is dished out is ridiculous. There are actually more variety of durian mooncakes at Goodwood Park than there are variety of durian at my fave durian stall (not gonnah tell you where, the queue is long enough as it is)! I still say we respect tradition. I mean, if the mooncakes come in bright yellow snowskin and is luminescent in the dark, the Mongolians would have been suspicious and China will still under Mongolian rule today. How to revolt by putting secret messages inside???

Of course you will say Dr Og so spoil sport. Don't la, I already say I not festive person mah. Anyway, its not a PH (sob, sob). So Dr Og have to got back to my work. For those on call, do have some mooncakes (can buy from Polar if you never ta bao!). If you like, can switch on your handphone flash and pretend its a lantern (idea for an app!). Its full moon, A and E sure flooded, so beware. But if you so (so so so) lucky got time on call, you can read my old article on mooncakes, hahaha.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Singapore Lokun Si Sibei Cham.

Wah Dr Og just discover I din update my blog like six months! Aiyah, been too busy lor. Work long hours, have to jagar my si gin nahs and look after lao pek lao bu.

But recently, the Straits Times forum alot of doctors go and write in. Alamak, why doctors like to write so much. I think hor alot of doctors secretly want to be writer lor. Aiyah, you want to be writer than start blog like Dr Og la, don't anyhow write to ST forum can? But hor, their England not as powderful as me lor... hahaha

See la, now the people think lokun are money grabbing cheats, spoil our reputation. Even got someone suggest hor, private doctor should go back public hospital and provide free service. I mean its good if people want to volunteer la, but in the first place is buay song public hospital then leave, and now want them go back and let you buak kar chng FOC, funny le......

Aiyah, anyway, be lokun in SG is sibei pathetic. No guidelines for charging how people know what is the right amount to charge. Most of the lokun I see work hard earn money and get by like all other Singaporeans. You see the Ferrari and Maserati on the streets all own by bankers and businessmen one la, lokun all tired and sleep very early, won't vroom vroom around the road middle of the night.

Lucky Dr Og is just a fake lokun and clinic is imagine one. Aiyah, gotta go wipe my si gin nah backside after he poo poo.

Will write again soon.