Patient: 医生，为什么不帮我打点滴！
Loctor: You have tension headache, iv drip will not help. Your blood counts are normal. No infection, no need for iv antibiotics.
Patient: 不行！我在国内每次头痛都打点滴！打了马上好！
Loctor: I'm telling you there is no indication. You are not dehydrated. No need iv.
Patient: 你是怎么當医生的呀! 我头痛就是要打点滴! 痛死了!
Loctor (in broken Mandarin ((I know, this loctor damn jialat, English Chinese all broken))): Tamade dian di ni de tou!! Chi wang yao ma shang hwei jia! (Google Translate: Madam, you can go home after having your pain killers.)
In some countries, strange as it may be, it is a cultural norm for patient to get an i/v drip for any condition or complaint. In Singapore, we like to do things for a rational reason. 不爽你又能怎样?
They also barge into TCM clinics demanding for IV drips.
ReplyDeletehaha, the TCM can stick all sorts of needles into them.
ReplyDeleteaiya loctor, tomorrow our pros, your blog too funny, i whole day read neber study, sibei jialat! @.@
ReplyDeletenext time they come up with acupuncture with dian di... might as well go 买点滴, maybe earn more than locum
ReplyDeleteaiyah, lokun u not very new age leh. If i lokun, I sure got iv liang teh, gek huay, tau huay, watermelon juice, orange juice, etc on my menu to offer one. Headache ah, no problem la, can try my iv liang teh lor, no need painkiller one.
ReplyDeleteanon@722: thanks for reading! but must pass lah!
ReplyDeleteanon@12:19: not everything can buy with money ;)
anon@739: the iv you recommend will burn the veins. but that is obviously besides the point!
Thanks ah Lokun I think can pass lah nowadays we m1s pass/fail only like no motivation to stay leh. Hope u update soon ^^
DeleteGood luck hor! Must pass lah, but one hint, The greatest regret one can have for med school is studying too hard. Impt to have fun and find gerfrend / boyfrend!
ReplyDeleteNice blog, just came across it two nights ago when I had insomnia. Reminded me of my suffering days (my MCR starts with 06xxx, you can guess which generation of oldies I am).
ReplyDeleteI like to show to these PR-See patients photos thrombophebitis from IV insertion to "educate" them on the complications of IV.
I like to share with you and your readers this observation which I made many yrs ago (when I was still young and hot headed) on the similarity of lokuns and prostitutes:
1. We work in small rooms which has a bed and a sink
2. We wash our hands/body after attending to each customers
3. We sleep on the bed when we are tired or got nothing to do
4. We use rubbers (gloves/condoms) to protect us from getting HIV from our customers
5. On our busy days, we feel like being gang raped
6. We cannot choose our customers and have to serve them regardless or race, language or religion
7. Our bosses/pimps squeeze us dry
8. We are comfort men/women, as our oath said "to comfort always"
Old lokun
hahaha good one! Well we are more geishas than prostitutes!!!!
ReplyDeleteStay young old lokun :)