Wah! Today the news NUS student got punished for making freshmen orientation look like lup sup bar! Actually what did they do huh? The picture on the ST website shows the freshmen dancing line dance niah. The article also mention the Arts Faculty got student kennah kar chng bua gu you (butter backside) for simulating rape during orientation? Wah really karma lor. Some say these the ginnahs kennah punished very buay kum wan since these were traditions pass down by seniors. Wah lau, you NUS elitistest (I invent this word one elitist plus -est), senior tell you to jump then you jump meh?
Dr Og is genuinely quite disturbed since I have a daughter. Also nowadays boys all very weak. If son kennah groped (by other boys) during orientation also will get traumatised. But lets leave the future aside, Dr Og's daughter still small, and reminisce about the past......
Long long time ago, Dr Og was also an undergrad freshman. Sadly, my orientation was also traumatising but no where near so happening as the Arts Fac people leh.
When you join the medicine orientation, first and foremost is disappointment. Somehow, most of the chio girls fail medicine interview and all go dentistry. Left maybe one or two not bad ones. To begin with already not so many girls coz that era got quota for female medicine undergrad. By orientation time, the few pretty girls (actually only two) already chope liao. There was a medicamp where I suppose is orientation for orientation and those girls got hitched liao. Dr Og of course din attend, wah lau, army not enough camping ar????). And so begins a merry go round of inbreeding.
What did we do in the medicine orientation as freshman? There was no hanky panky. There was no simulated games of any kind. There was no lewd cheers. Boy, was it traumatisingly boring! Actually, we were making some float (the Chingay float kind of float) for Rag and Flag. Build some imaginary boat which is mounted on a motor vehicle is already very boh liao, but to have to build some Disney themed float is as regressive as it gets. I thought we go Uni to become adults? At least do some Sci Fi or Horror, Vampire vs Alien design la (last time no Zombies yet, now I sure suggest Zombie apocalypse float).
So Dr Og decided just stay under radar and quiet quiet follow instructions. I quietly stick colour papers (and pray silently for all the unnecessarily dead trees) on the float but then suddenly, this self appointed as leader skinny girl come and scold me.
"Why you tear the paper never use scissors to cut??!!!" She screamed at me.
Hello aunty, the judges sit how far away look at your float? You think they can see the paper is cut or torn meh?
The girl buay song went to complain to a senior year two medic who was some mad socks president. He came over and attempted to ask me to use the scissors. I picked up the scissors, put it in his hands and told him, own time own target, carry on. Senior tell me to cut then I cut meh? I flip my motorola clam shell phone open, call my buddy Ah Bui, "Bro meet you Arts canteen eat beef kway teow!" There sure more happening!
NB: The point of the story? If you blind blind choose to follow tradition and do what your seniors did, then don't kpkb when you kar chng tiok bua gu you!
Showing posts with label Boh Liao. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Boh Liao. Show all posts
Thursday, September 22, 2016
Sunday, November 24, 2013
Toilet Games Part 3
If you think admin work is about filling this form and that form niah, then you are wrong. Admin work can range from simple (but endlessly tedious) things like claiming transport to sitting through (endlessly endless) meetings for another IT project, another CEO's bright idea or another dinner and dance committee.
Believe it or not, Dr Og was once the team lead for an improvement project for clinic renovation. As a doctor I of course focused on how to improve patient safety and workflow, but it slowly became quite clear that the administrators had other agendas on their mind!
It seems the senior management had decreed that special attention be given to a certain area in the clinic.
.
.
.
.
.
The Toilet.
Before you think they so good, want to reno the toilets nice nice for staff, let me clarify that it was quickly decided that staff will have those single cubicle UNISEX toilets. (more on unisex toilets next time!) Their concern was really the public toilets for patients. And if you think they are so concerned about the welfare or comfort of patients, think again!
The toilet is indeed an important and strategic area for a public outpatient clinic. Based on many previous surveys done, administrators have identified that how good the toilets are in the clinic is directly related to how well the clinic fares in satisfaction surveys. Yes it is proven once again that patients do not go clinics to see doctor but actually to use the jamban!
So the whole improvement project was spent discussing where the toilet should be situated and finding the balance between having enough privacy in the toilet versus ensuring that a person who collapses in the toilet would be noticed. You mean patients come clinic and spend most of the time in the toilet meh? Is that the reason why I can never find them when I buzz their queue number?? And yes, must have queue numbers displayed conspicuously so that if they see their number flash, they can quickly get to their clinic room (without flashing, wiping backside and washing hands...) for their appointment.
At the end of the day, one joker actually recommended that we take a gemba walk (walk the ground) in the toilet. Honestly, I didn't know how that was NOT going to freak our patients out. Group of doctors and administrators entering the toilet to look at the process flow for their defecating ways. As the team lead and only rational member of the project, I vetoed this of course.
Plus, Dr Og already got no time for toilet breaks and now you want me go toilet but NOT to pang jio!!???!???! You must be kidding...
To celebrate the screening of Hunger Games, Catching Fire, Dr Og change all the toilet series posts to Toilet Games. See below for more instalments of the Toilet GameS!
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Thor-rettes Syndrome
Found this on the web. Haha
Non medical dudes, please don't ask me to translate. Kum Sia!
Non medical dudes, please don't ask me to translate. Kum Sia!
Thursday, November 07, 2013
If THOR Works in a Hospital...
Over the weekend Dr Og managed to catch Thor in the cinema. Rare occasion for me coz it takes all the stars to align for me to able to go to a movie.
[MAJOR SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
Incidentally, in this episode of Thor, the nine realms align. That is really besides the point coz the movie is about a goondu bad guy (as usual) trying to destroy the world and THOR (as usual) saves the world. Yah, usual stuff. In between all that, there are lots of flying, fighting and some romance.
[SPOILER ALERT ENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
Well, this doctor enjoyed this movie. Honestly, as a lokun, you just wanna chill and watch something brainless. No gore and blood (lots of those in the OT), no family drama (lots of those in the general ward), no political drama mama (lots of those in the pantry).
But I was just thinking, Superman saves the world, the Avengers saved the world, Thor saves the world... surely these superheroes must all have messiah complex! Surely, they belong in a hospital right??!!!
But what can Thor do if he works in a hospital? His super power is basically swinging that hammer of his in his enemy's face. Now, how many times can he do that to the CEO, tio bo?
I think Thor can be a orthopod (orthopaedic surgeon). Orthopods are probably the only doctors to wield a hammer in their practice. The way Thor whacks through enemies with his hammer is really without any finesse and very chor lor (coarse). No way he can do microsurgery lor. But hammer and chip bones like our ortho friend, I think he still can. His strength will help too! Try assisting in an ortho surgery and holding up the leg of a 0.1 ton uncle! 5 minutes start sweating and 10 minutes back pain starts! With Thor, there will be no such problem! He can relac jac hold the leg and still flirt with the pretty OT nurse (hopes he brings along Natalie Portman ahahaha).
Thor will probably not do well as a physician or in internal medicine where more brain juice is needed. I mean look at how he kennah bluff by Loki time and again. Sibei kum gong.......
Whatever discipline Thor goes to in the hospital, I'm sure all the female doctors will go swarming to join that speciality, given his good looks. So, which department do you want Thor to be in?
[MAJOR SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
Incidentally, in this episode of Thor, the nine realms align. That is really besides the point coz the movie is about a goondu bad guy (as usual) trying to destroy the world and THOR (as usual) saves the world. Yah, usual stuff. In between all that, there are lots of flying, fighting and some romance.
[SPOILER ALERT ENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
Well, this doctor enjoyed this movie. Honestly, as a lokun, you just wanna chill and watch something brainless. No gore and blood (lots of those in the OT), no family drama (lots of those in the general ward), no political drama mama (lots of those in the pantry).
But I was just thinking, Superman saves the world, the Avengers saved the world, Thor saves the world... surely these superheroes must all have messiah complex! Surely, they belong in a hospital right??!!!
But what can Thor do if he works in a hospital? His super power is basically swinging that hammer of his in his enemy's face. Now, how many times can he do that to the CEO, tio bo?
I think Thor can be a orthopod (orthopaedic surgeon). Orthopods are probably the only doctors to wield a hammer in their practice. The way Thor whacks through enemies with his hammer is really without any finesse and very chor lor (coarse). No way he can do microsurgery lor. But hammer and chip bones like our ortho friend, I think he still can. His strength will help too! Try assisting in an ortho surgery and holding up the leg of a 0.1 ton uncle! 5 minutes start sweating and 10 minutes back pain starts! With Thor, there will be no such problem! He can relac jac hold the leg and still flirt with the pretty OT nurse (hopes he brings along Natalie Portman ahahaha).
Thor will probably not do well as a physician or in internal medicine where more brain juice is needed. I mean look at how he kennah bluff by Loki time and again. Sibei kum gong.......
Whatever discipline Thor goes to in the hospital, I'm sure all the female doctors will go swarming to join that speciality, given his good looks. So, which department do you want Thor to be in?
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| Thor is screening in cinemas now. Wah Natalie Portman chio le! |
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Toilet Games Part 2
Someone left a comment that PJ / pang jio / urinating takes only a short time and the doctor should just go ahead. Of course not every lokun will hold his bladder for his patients (sounds darn wrong but I have no other way of putting this across). I have caught Medical Officers leaving halfway during their clinics to eat fishball noodles in the market across the road while their patients were waiting for them. For me, I really don't like to keep my patients waiting. When I go for my own medical appointments, I go on time and I expect to be seen on time. Likewise I try my best to accord the same courtesy to my patients.
A full clinic runs for about 4 hours. You would think that it is actually quite reasonable for a toilet break of 15 minutes to be included in a typical clinic schedule. But the hard truth is that in Singapore, none of the clinics in public hospital have toilet breaks scheduled. In fact the administrators like to double book or triple book a slot. Which means you are always trying to catch up and there is really no time to go pang jio la. It is not like Dr Og never feedback about toilet breaks to senior management but they just laugh in my face. You can't hold your urine, you better not be a doctor :(
Say I bochap that the patients wait until frustrated and still leave the room to pang jio pang sai, the patients see you leave the room dunno go where sure even more pek chek. Wah like dat sure tiok complain. But it is also quite strange for the clinic staff to broadcast through the PA system, "Dr Og from Room 10 going toilet ar, tolong tolong you all wait a while. He tahan a few hours already."
Some clinics also don't have staff toilets. So you quickly cheong out of the room, avoid the stares of all your patients waiting, cheong into the toilet, start PJing into the urinal, only to realise the person next to you in the next urinal is your patient! Worse, he looks over to your side and says, "wah lokun you very stress isit, stream very weak leh."
You get my point la.
For the above reasons, I prefer to just finish my clinic before attending to my physical urges. But hor, sometimes it is sibei irritating when patients are already late (by alot alot) and when you try to call them in for the consults, the nurse tells you that they have gone to the toilet. Some lagi jialat ones will even go makan first! Wah lau, hospital toilet and canteen very nice meh?
But then I suppose its wrong to expect patients to hold their urine like their doctors. After all, we have years of training through:
1) Medical Student: long boring lectures with super fierce lecturer who will kill you with their stares if you walk out
2) Junior Doctors: Super long ward rounds with lagi fierce Consultants who will kill you if you walk off from the round
3) Senior Doctors: Super long meetings with Chief Medical Board and/or Chief Executive Officer who will kill you if you walk off in the middle of their motherhood statements
(Please do not try to emulate these stunts at home. Like I say, doctors have had special training.)
A full clinic runs for about 4 hours. You would think that it is actually quite reasonable for a toilet break of 15 minutes to be included in a typical clinic schedule. But the hard truth is that in Singapore, none of the clinics in public hospital have toilet breaks scheduled. In fact the administrators like to double book or triple book a slot. Which means you are always trying to catch up and there is really no time to go pang jio la. It is not like Dr Og never feedback about toilet breaks to senior management but they just laugh in my face. You can't hold your urine, you better not be a doctor :(
Say I bochap that the patients wait until frustrated and still leave the room to pang jio pang sai, the patients see you leave the room dunno go where sure even more pek chek. Wah like dat sure tiok complain. But it is also quite strange for the clinic staff to broadcast through the PA system, "Dr Og from Room 10 going toilet ar, tolong tolong you all wait a while. He tahan a few hours already."
Some clinics also don't have staff toilets. So you quickly cheong out of the room, avoid the stares of all your patients waiting, cheong into the toilet, start PJing into the urinal, only to realise the person next to you in the next urinal is your patient! Worse, he looks over to your side and says, "wah lokun you very stress isit, stream very weak leh."
You get my point la.
For the above reasons, I prefer to just finish my clinic before attending to my physical urges. But hor, sometimes it is sibei irritating when patients are already late (by alot alot) and when you try to call them in for the consults, the nurse tells you that they have gone to the toilet. Some lagi jialat ones will even go makan first! Wah lau, hospital toilet and canteen very nice meh?
But then I suppose its wrong to expect patients to hold their urine like their doctors. After all, we have years of training through:
1) Medical Student: long boring lectures with super fierce lecturer who will kill you with their stares if you walk out
2) Junior Doctors: Super long ward rounds with lagi fierce Consultants who will kill you if you walk off from the round
3) Senior Doctors: Super long meetings with Chief Medical Board and/or Chief Executive Officer who will kill you if you walk off in the middle of their motherhood statements
(Please do not try to emulate these stunts at home. Like I say, doctors have had special training.)
Wednesday, October 09, 2013
Toilet Games Part 1
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| From "http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/donatahuggins/100166145/owen-jones-the-new-dave-spart-fearlessly-champions-the-right-to-proper-toilet-breaks/" |
As a medical student, it became very apparent quite quickly that to be a good doctor, you have to be quite in control of your feelings. There can be emotional feelings and there can be physical feelings. Even as medical students, we became desensitised to emotions rapidly and soon acted like numb and unfeeling robots. It serves its purpose well when you have to tend to emergencies like resuscitation. You would rather be remembering resus algorithm and dripping sweat than to be all emo and shedding tears. After all, its enough that the nurses are already running around in panic like headless chickens. They are allowed to but as a doctor you ARE NOT. Period.
Whilst Dr Og never had much difficulty controlling my tears (as men we sooner shed blood of the non menstrual kind), I cannot say the same about controlling other orifices where fluids may
Physical sensations are sometimes almost impossible to control. One day, I was sitting in an orthopaedic clinic as a 4th year medical student and the clinic ran from 9am to 1:45pm. During this time, the kopi-O-gow I had earlier was working its diuretic wonders. But those were the days when you guai guai sit in the clinic room to wait for the doctor you were tagging to come and left the room only after they left first. Going anywhere during the clinic session will earn you cold hard stares from the doctor and nurse and so going to Pang Jio (urinate) was never an option!
At the end of the clinic, the surgeon had obviously noticed my urgency from the frequent crossing of legs to aid my urethral sphincter. He patted my back and said, "You know, to be a good doctor you have to be able to hold your urine and tahan hunger! You will be ok next time. Come let me buy you a sandwich for lunch then we start afternoon clinic in ten minutes"
But..... er, Sir... Can I go for a toilet break first.
Sunday, August 25, 2013
You know, last time when matah wore shorts......
You see, as people get older, they like to talk a lot about the past. One of the things that junior trainees get most frightened of is kennah stuck with the lao kok kok professor or senior consultant.
If you are lucky, you may be listening to his life story for the first time in a nice restaurant over lunch. He will tell you how he struggled through a poor family and had to study with a candle. Nevertheless, he managed to get into medicine and eventually became the godfather of the fraternity. He will tell you how he had wanted to be in another speciality but fate has it that he was rejected and therefore he is in the present one (which explains why he hates a certain speciality so much). At times (if you are really lucky) he will share how he eventually fell out with his long time teacher and mentor or how he used to be best buddies with another prof but he cheated/ framed/ made used of him. Sometimes (if you are really really lucky), he will tell you how he had wished for his son to follow his footsteps but he did just the opposite. All these are really interesting and gives you a perspective into why so and so cannot be seated in the same table during the faculty dinner. This also may just keep you out of trouble by preventing you from offending one prof because you openly praised the other.
If you are unlucky, you may just have been caught by the prof at the corridor and you are standing there listening to the same story for the nth time. You know exactly what the prof is going to tell you next as you have already (by passive diffusion) memorise his whole life story. You are post call, tired but you seem to be nodding as if you are interested. Actually, your tired neck muscles can no longer hold your head in place and you are just falling asleep. At times (if you are really unlucky), you may really need to go pass urine but the prof just does not recognise the urgency (pun intended) in your contorted facial expression. Sometimes (if you are really really unlucky), his unfilial son has stood him up for dinner again and he invites you to continue the conversation at the same damn restaurant (so that he can continue the torture). All these putting up with the prof is necessary as he still yields power in the fraternity. This may also be the only reason you are still surviving as you have managed somehow to offend the other prof and guru in the speciality. But this one likes you as you are the only probably the only one who listens to his story.
If you are a girl, you may be with the (humsup) prof in the Alumni Building... but that is another story for another day... not sure lucky or unlucky... haha...
If you are lucky, you may be listening to his life story for the first time in a nice restaurant over lunch. He will tell you how he struggled through a poor family and had to study with a candle. Nevertheless, he managed to get into medicine and eventually became the godfather of the fraternity. He will tell you how he had wanted to be in another speciality but fate has it that he was rejected and therefore he is in the present one (which explains why he hates a certain speciality so much). At times (if you are really lucky) he will share how he eventually fell out with his long time teacher and mentor or how he used to be best buddies with another prof but he cheated/ framed/ made used of him. Sometimes (if you are really really lucky), he will tell you how he had wished for his son to follow his footsteps but he did just the opposite. All these are really interesting and gives you a perspective into why so and so cannot be seated in the same table during the faculty dinner. This also may just keep you out of trouble by preventing you from offending one prof because you openly praised the other.
If you are unlucky, you may just have been caught by the prof at the corridor and you are standing there listening to the same story for the nth time. You know exactly what the prof is going to tell you next as you have already (by passive diffusion) memorise his whole life story. You are post call, tired but you seem to be nodding as if you are interested. Actually, your tired neck muscles can no longer hold your head in place and you are just falling asleep. At times (if you are really unlucky), you may really need to go pass urine but the prof just does not recognise the urgency (pun intended) in your contorted facial expression. Sometimes (if you are really really unlucky), his unfilial son has stood him up for dinner again and he invites you to continue the conversation at the same damn restaurant (so that he can continue the torture). All these putting up with the prof is necessary as he still yields power in the fraternity. This may also be the only reason you are still surviving as you have managed somehow to offend the other prof and guru in the speciality. But this one likes you as you are the only probably the only one who listens to his story.
If you are a girl, you may be with the (humsup) prof in the Alumni Building... but that is another story for another day... not sure lucky or unlucky... haha...
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Never Learn
Some nice reader left a comment that I must be busy as I have not been blogging recently. To be honest Dr Og had been quite boh eng... this game called Candy Crush has been really sucking up all my time.
Since I kennah stuck at some stupid stage now, I thought take a break.
In between games, Dr Og somemore got to go queue up at MacDonalds... at first for Hello Kitty then the Minions. Really sibei boh eng ar...
The worst thing was when queueing up for Hello Kitty some more got haze! It was really terrible queueing up in the N95 mask and having flashbacks of SARs days.
So while I queue here and queue there, a good friend who works in hospital admin called me.
"Eh brother, you got N95 masks or not?"He ask me.
"Yah la, still got some."Dr Og is a hoarder and I still have those 10 year old N95 masks from SARS days.
"Ooi, don't mind pass me some can?"He pleaded.
"But I thought you work in public hospital, how come no mask ar?" I was puzzled.
"Yah la, the hospital short and now cannot sell to staff...." He replied angrily.
"Wah liao!"
In the end I gave away all my N95s and had to use my recycled nuar nuar (rotten) one.
So it seems, always like that loh. Masks no enough, don't take care of own people and panic only when things happen.... what is new.
Since I kennah stuck at some stupid stage now, I thought take a break.
In between games, Dr Og somemore got to go queue up at MacDonalds... at first for Hello Kitty then the Minions. Really sibei boh eng ar...
The worst thing was when queueing up for Hello Kitty some more got haze! It was really terrible queueing up in the N95 mask and having flashbacks of SARs days.
So while I queue here and queue there, a good friend who works in hospital admin called me.
"Eh brother, you got N95 masks or not?"He ask me.
"Yah la, still got some."Dr Og is a hoarder and I still have those 10 year old N95 masks from SARS days.
"Ooi, don't mind pass me some can?"He pleaded.
"But I thought you work in public hospital, how come no mask ar?" I was puzzled.
"Yah la, the hospital short and now cannot sell to staff...." He replied angrily.
"Wah liao!"
In the end I gave away all my N95s and had to use my recycled nuar nuar (rotten) one.
So it seems, always like that loh. Masks no enough, don't take care of own people and panic only when things happen.... what is new.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
The Avengers
Those who have not watched the Avengers must go and watch la! Especially lokuns. Not only was it very shiok to see Ironman fly here fly there, Hulk jumping around, Cap American cheonging aimlessly, the Avengers actually delivers a very important message. Like in our Lokun Choo, Avengers is all about team work!
In a medical / surgical team, you always need the goodie two shoe like Captain America who does not care about pay or fame. A also stands for Altruism and he is always ready to throw the A card in your face. If you tio smack by him, its almost like kennah Cap's shield. Sure faint big time!
You will also always have the maverick like Ironman, narcissistic because his lao pek wu liu and he drives a Porsche to work. But no worries, Cap will keep him in check! Only problem is he will get all the girls la... (just accept it ok.... you drive Chery QQ, he drive Porsche...)
In every team, there will be a Hulk. Forever angry with everything and bashing around. You dunno why he is jumping in anger but he complains incessantly about everything including canteen food no good, weekend rounds too many, pay too low (which is true) and changes too many. Most of the time, Cap has to come in to damage control for him. Others may hate him but Cap will tell you he has a nice side to him known as Bruce Banner and is harmless la.
Thor is my fave character in the Avengers. Who don't like a pretty boy who thinks he is God? Unfortunately narcissism may cause conflicts in the team and Ironman will fight it out with Thor for that one chiobu nurse! Thor will lose as he is actually in love with himself (something only Gods can do) and is too busy playing with his ownloin lock. Thor's greatest weakness is his hammer. It behaves like a boomerang; dunno how many times he tio whack by his own hammer liao!
Most teams will have a Hawkeye but some teams may have a lesser version, the Cockeye. Hawkeye is the most hated member of the team. Problem is that he likes to shoot arrows at people. If you tio his rapid fire, good luck. Cockeye abit better, coz he shoot arrows but everytime buay tio!
But hor, the most important member of the team is Black Widow! There must always be a sweet young thing in the team to make all the difficult blue letters to the hum sup senior doctors. Any unwarranted urgent radiology scans that your Consultant ask for, ask her to settle, sure can! However, she must be zhai enough like in the movie so that Ironman, Thor, Cap America and Hulk not matter how horny won't dare to touch her coz she is thorny.
It is important to remember that like the Avengers, we need to work together as a team to repel any possible Alien invasion. Good luck!
In a medical / surgical team, you always need the goodie two shoe like Captain America who does not care about pay or fame. A also stands for Altruism and he is always ready to throw the A card in your face. If you tio smack by him, its almost like kennah Cap's shield. Sure faint big time!
You will also always have the maverick like Ironman, narcissistic because his lao pek wu liu and he drives a Porsche to work. But no worries, Cap will keep him in check! Only problem is he will get all the girls la... (just accept it ok.... you drive Chery QQ, he drive Porsche...)
In every team, there will be a Hulk. Forever angry with everything and bashing around. You dunno why he is jumping in anger but he complains incessantly about everything including canteen food no good, weekend rounds too many, pay too low (which is true) and changes too many. Most of the time, Cap has to come in to damage control for him. Others may hate him but Cap will tell you he has a nice side to him known as Bruce Banner and is harmless la.
Thor is my fave character in the Avengers. Who don't like a pretty boy who thinks he is God? Unfortunately narcissism may cause conflicts in the team and Ironman will fight it out with Thor for that one chiobu nurse! Thor will lose as he is actually in love with himself (something only Gods can do) and is too busy playing with his own
Most teams will have a Hawkeye but some teams may have a lesser version, the Cockeye. Hawkeye is the most hated member of the team. Problem is that he likes to shoot arrows at people. If you tio his rapid fire, good luck. Cockeye abit better, coz he shoot arrows but everytime buay tio!
But hor, the most important member of the team is Black Widow! There must always be a sweet young thing in the team to make all the difficult blue letters to the hum sup senior doctors. Any unwarranted urgent radiology scans that your Consultant ask for, ask her to settle, sure can! However, she must be zhai enough like in the movie so that Ironman, Thor, Cap America and Hulk not matter how horny won't dare to touch her coz she is thorny.
It is important to remember that like the Avengers, we need to work together as a team to repel any possible Alien invasion. Good luck!
Saturday, May 05, 2012
48 Men
The ongoing saga of the 48 men (and counting) reminds me of the times when we take a sexual history for our patients...
Loctor: Uncle, you got visit commercial sex worker or not?
Ah pek: Huh simi lai er?
Loctor: I mean prostitute la.
Ah pek: Huh? simi prostitute??
Loctor: Aiyah, chicken la...chicken...
Ah pek: Orrrhhh, Gwer! Got la. But tell you ar, I call chicken and then only talk la. I never do it...
Loctor (puzzled): Huh, talk only?? Never have sex??
Ah pek: Yah lah, no piak piak. But talk I also pay...
It is not uncommon (really) that (male) patients tell us that they have gone to CSWs but ended up only having conversations. The possibilities are:
a. Uncle cannot stand
b. Uncle forgot to take his Sildenafil (if you dunno what that is, click on the link, brand names not provided here as Dr Og is impartial!)
c. Uncle bought Sildenafil from JB and kennah counterfeit.
d. Uncle depressed, just need someone to talk to (unlikely because visiting a gahmen psychiatrist is cheaper and most Vietnamese don't speak local dialects)
e. Uncle tok cock (literally)
It is strange that not one of the 48 men brought up the defence of "I only talked to her niah!" in Court. Best still if the victims (48 men) can prove that they have some sort of erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation and could not have penetrated the victim (under age CWS). Whatever the case, it will be impossible to prove that sexual intercourse actually took place though I am not sure if that has any legal impact. Maybe just having the intent and having made payment is bad enough to land you in jail.
So the next time you try to get a sexual history from uncles, don't forget to remind them to check the i/c or passport of the CSW. And if they really just need to talk, refer them to the appropriate people like counsellors, psychologists... (don't bother referring to psychiatrists, they don't generally talk to patients). Beats spending nine weeks at the wrong side of Changi!
Loctor: Uncle, you got visit commercial sex worker or not?
Ah pek: Huh simi lai er?
Loctor: I mean prostitute la.
Ah pek: Huh? simi prostitute??
Loctor: Aiyah, chicken la...chicken...
Ah pek: Orrrhhh, Gwer! Got la. But tell you ar, I call chicken and then only talk la. I never do it...
Loctor (puzzled): Huh, talk only?? Never have sex??
Ah pek: Yah lah, no piak piak. But talk I also pay...
It is not uncommon (really) that (male) patients tell us that they have gone to CSWs but ended up only having conversations. The possibilities are:
a. Uncle cannot stand
b. Uncle forgot to take his Sildenafil (if you dunno what that is, click on the link, brand names not provided here as Dr Og is impartial!)
c. Uncle bought Sildenafil from JB and kennah counterfeit.
d. Uncle depressed, just need someone to talk to (unlikely because visiting a gahmen psychiatrist is cheaper and most Vietnamese don't speak local dialects)
e. Uncle tok cock (literally)
It is strange that not one of the 48 men brought up the defence of "I only talked to her niah!" in Court. Best still if the victims (48 men) can prove that they have some sort of erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation and could not have penetrated the victim (under age CWS). Whatever the case, it will be impossible to prove that sexual intercourse actually took place though I am not sure if that has any legal impact. Maybe just having the intent and having made payment is bad enough to land you in jail.
So the next time you try to get a sexual history from uncles, don't forget to remind them to check the i/c or passport of the CSW. And if they really just need to talk, refer them to the appropriate people like counsellors, psychologists... (don't bother referring to psychiatrists, they don't generally talk to patients). Beats spending nine weeks at the wrong side of Changi!
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
5 Types of Medical Colleagues You Love to Hate
Dr Og tries to be positive but sometimes the serotonin receptors in the brain gets a little short circuited and you can't help but can't stand some of your fellow colleagues.1. The Pseudo-Researcher
This dude was basically a chow mugger in school. When people were chasing skirts, he was chasing paper. So when he became a lokun and has gotten his name on as many degree as he can, he tries to get his names on journals. He does not care if he has any right to any database and will bulldoze his way to generating papers for journals even if he offended the rest of the world. Most of his papers would be case reports of no scientific value as he will not spend too much time doing good solid studies. After all he just gian to see his name on paper.
2. The Sneaky Bastard
Remember that JC classmate that told you he never finished studying for the exams and still topped the class? Remember the time he said he did really badly in the exams and ended up with an A when the results came out. That classmate of yours is probably a doctor now! Instead of being sneaky about his studies, he is now sneaky about his work. He doesn't share his notes for the MRC(Whatever) or M.Med Exams. He will borrow all of the senior's notes and tell you he lost it. He will chope exam leave before the posting even starts. He pretends to go for evening rounds but ends up assisting the HOD in the operation of the decade while you slough like hell in the ward. As he get more senior, he keeps news of research grants, training programmes, overseas conferences and any other opportunities to himself, even if he does not need them. He will suck up to the boss, get an A* for his TPM and tells you he got a B. He is sneaky because he is selfish. Just like back in JC days.
3. The Learned Colleague
Some say that learning is a lifelong process. But this people take it too literally (may be due to some frontal lobe lesions). They seem to be forever away for courses and training. However, they are never able to apply what they have learnt in real clinical practice in that few days you see them in the wards or the clinics. Your Boss may however be quite impressed with their insatiable quest for knowledge. Unbeknownst to him, these people will suck up the department training fund, make absolutely no contribution and bring their knowledge to their grave.
4. The BCC Char Bor
This is a bit of a sad case. Call it uglism but you cannot bin chow chow (face black black) if you are not bin swee swee (face pretty pretty). Typically, the BCC colleague is a female who just have to black face everyone. It may be that she steps on shit every morning or that she had some very traumatic experience during childhood. But whatever it is, she puts up that "you owe me money" kind of facies day in day out, to juniors, to peers and to seniors. The whole team cannot stand her but she does not seem to care. The only time she will smile at you is when she needs a really big favour from you. Sometimes, some idiot may defend her in the department and induce guilt in you by saying that if she is pretty, you would not be so upset with her. Do not feel guilty about it! This is real life, if you ain't pretty or handsome, then be nice. Prolonged PMS is not your birthright.
5. The Super Duper Bastard
Some people have it all! Its probably in the genes. Every decade or so, the stars align and the super duper bastard is spawned. He is the pseudo researcher who chases every paper qualification and writes stupid papers regardless of the scientific value (of which you sometimes have to review if he submits to the local journals). He is the sneaky bastard who uses rejected submissions to journal and sends them for overseas conferences as posters. He uses up all the department training fund to go for these overseas conferences and is thick skin enough to buay paiseh still go for lots of local courses. He may be a she and if back in the department for that few days annually from her long sponsored trips and courses, she will show you her BCC!!
Friday, March 23, 2012
Service Quality
Dr Og is still a bit sore over the fake 20% pay rise saga. You see, in a recent wedding I went to, a IT friend exclaimed loudly, "Wah! 20 % pay rise ar!!"
I took great pains to explain that "no lah", its at best 5% per annum, lest the bride and groom expect a corresponding increase in the ang bow!
Another issue that arise during the recent saga was the introduction of the Service Quality Komponent. Lets just say Dr Og is a great proponent of solid service. Some doctors don't seem to realise or they die die don't want to believe that medicine is basically just a service industry. Yes, doctors (of all grades) tend to have a messiah complex and think that they are doing what they are doing to save lives. But honestly, even saving lives is a form of service, is it not?
And it is not only the patients we are serving. We also serve our Bosses. These days things may have changed with Residency but when I was a Houseman, I was the biggest service provider since I served all the patients and was at the beck and call of everyone else in the team from the Medical Officer to the Senior Consultant. We had to buy coffee, run errants and play flower pot during meal times with Senior Cons who needed his ego soothed with a big entourage. More often than not, we also tio raped and kennah bwat guyou on our gluteus region by our seniors. At times, we had to go karaoke and it is rumoured that some female HOs also provide extra service. Hahaha...
You wouldn't blame me if I were to tell you that I felt like a prostitute as a HO, the similarity in that we had to service anyone and everyone, being the lowest life form in the hospital food chain. And when I became more senior, I often had to use this analogy to correct the attitude of some yaya papaya HOs or interns.
But on deliberation with one of my senior doctor one day, he concluded that the term prostitute may not be most appropriate for obvious reasons. He reckoned, "I think we are more like...... Geishas!"
卖
艺 不卖身！What wisdom :)
I took great pains to explain that "no lah", its at best 5% per annum, lest the bride and groom expect a corresponding increase in the ang bow!
Another issue that arise during the recent saga was the introduction of the Service Quality Komponent. Lets just say Dr Og is a great proponent of solid service. Some doctors don't seem to realise or they die die don't want to believe that medicine is basically just a service industry. Yes, doctors (of all grades) tend to have a messiah complex and think that they are doing what they are doing to save lives. But honestly, even saving lives is a form of service, is it not?
And it is not only the patients we are serving. We also serve our Bosses. These days things may have changed with Residency but when I was a Houseman, I was the biggest service provider since I served all the patients and was at the beck and call of everyone else in the team from the Medical Officer to the Senior Consultant. We had to buy coffee, run errants and play flower pot during meal times with Senior Cons who needed his ego soothed with a big entourage. More often than not, we also tio raped and kennah bwat guyou on our gluteus region by our seniors. At times, we had to go karaoke and it is rumoured that some female HOs also provide extra service. Hahaha...
You wouldn't blame me if I were to tell you that I felt like a prostitute as a HO, the similarity in that we had to service anyone and everyone, being the lowest life form in the hospital food chain. And when I became more senior, I often had to use this analogy to correct the attitude of some yaya papaya HOs or interns.
But on deliberation with one of my senior doctor one day, he concluded that the term prostitute may not be most appropriate for obvious reasons. He reckoned, "I think we are more like...... Geishas!"
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
The Seventh Month
Someone asked me why I have not been blogging.
Simple truth is that sometimes when I blog, I feel like I'm writing to myself, or worse, to ghosts.... since there is hardly any response from whoever is reading (if any).....
But since its the hungry ghost month, its highly appropriate for me to at least make an entry for the ghosts out there supporting this blog. (My mother will surely scream choy! and hit me in the head if she saw this)
+Hong+Kong+-+in+the+streets.jpg)
For the Chinese at least, the seventh month can be a rather scary time. We were brought up to believe that the hungry ghosts will do us harm and going out late at night and activities such as swimming were frowned upon during this month. The seventh month this year has been somewhat unsual in that we celebrated NDP in a big way in Marina and will be having the presidential election soon! The pompous fireworks and wong hei (王气) will surely send all the ghosts into hiding!
But that is not true for our hospitals! There remain many scary and unnatural things that we have to look out for!
The Ghost Whisperer
Technically not scary but suspected to be a spirit medium / tang-ki (乩童) of sorts who serves to bridge the living to the dead. He is usually a junior doctor who appears to be very busy and would disappear for a long time but not get anything done at all. When confronted he would insist that he has done a lot of work although not witnessed by any living patients. It is likely that he has an inert ability to see things that other normal house officers and medical officers cannot and was busy helping those poor souls still lingering the corridors of our wards. His disappearance can be explained by the fact that he transists between earth and the netherworld without really knowing. In actual fact, his colleagues all hope that he will go to hell too!
The Lift
Otherwise known as The Elevator. Super slow and often contains scary objects! The Lift in the hospital has a mind of its own having been possessed by the spirit of a nasty ward nursing manager who met an untimely death when the ECG leads, stationeries and paper she was hoarding fell onto her one day. True to her (mean) spirit, you will wait long long if you needed a ride to go to the upper levels. Worse, if you are really down on your luck, The Lift will bring you down to Level -18 instead where you WILL bump into your CEO!!
The Zombies
Another breed of doctors. Unlike the Ghost Whisperer, the Zombies are doctors who specialises in KLKK (Kia Lai Kia Kee) and have no specific directions (be it in life or in their medical career). They are seen wandering and bumping into one another, often getting in the way of those doing real work. Occasionally, by brownian, these Undead Walkers will wander into the canteen and start having a nice cup of coffee while their fellow doctors continue to slough to their deaths in the ward. The Zombies can be identified by their lack of expression and of eye contact. (Compare this again to the Ghost Whisperer who is often anxious and frightened having seen things they shouldn't...) The Zombies come to work in crumpled clothes having have no motivation whatsoever!
The Gwai Lo (鬼佬)
Literally "ghost man" in Cantonese, these ghosts are often foreign and used to be mostly pale white when spotted in the past. Recently, black coloured ones have also appeared and have become so prevalent that you are more likely to bump into one of these than an actual Singaporean human! It is also pertinent to note that one must avoid them at all costs this seventh month as it is also Jay-See-I (pronounced J-C-I) haunting month. They may well be one of the auditors from Gwai Lo Land and it will be a straight road to hell if you kennah caught by them!
Simple truth is that sometimes when I blog, I feel like I'm writing to myself, or worse, to ghosts.... since there is hardly any response from whoever is reading (if any).....
But since its the hungry ghost month, its highly appropriate for me to at least make an entry for the ghosts out there supporting this blog. (My mother will surely scream choy! and hit me in the head if she saw this)
For the Chinese at least, the seventh month can be a rather scary time. We were brought up to believe that the hungry ghosts will do us harm and going out late at night and activities such as swimming were frowned upon during this month. The seventh month this year has been somewhat unsual in that we celebrated NDP in a big way in Marina and will be having the presidential election soon! The pompous fireworks and wong hei (王气) will surely send all the ghosts into hiding!
But that is not true for our hospitals! There remain many scary and unnatural things that we have to look out for!
The Ghost Whisperer
Technically not scary but suspected to be a spirit medium / tang-ki (乩童) of sorts who serves to bridge the living to the dead. He is usually a junior doctor who appears to be very busy and would disappear for a long time but not get anything done at all. When confronted he would insist that he has done a lot of work although not witnessed by any living patients. It is likely that he has an inert ability to see things that other normal house officers and medical officers cannot and was busy helping those poor souls still lingering the corridors of our wards. His disappearance can be explained by the fact that he transists between earth and the netherworld without really knowing. In actual fact, his colleagues all hope that he will go to hell too!
The real Ghost Whisperer looks nothing like this la!
The Lift
Frightful stuff inside!
The Zombies
Another breed of doctors. Unlike the Ghost Whisperer, the Zombies are doctors who specialises in KLKK (Kia Lai Kia Kee) and have no specific directions (be it in life or in their medical career). They are seen wandering and bumping into one another, often getting in the way of those doing real work. Occasionally, by brownian, these Undead Walkers will wander into the canteen and start having a nice cup of coffee while their fellow doctors continue to slough to their deaths in the ward. The Zombies can be identified by their lack of expression and of eye contact. (Compare this again to the Ghost Whisperer who is often anxious and frightened having seen things they shouldn't...) The Zombies come to work in crumpled clothes having have no motivation whatsoever!
Blood stains from yesterday's surgery
The Gwai Lo (鬼佬)
Literally "ghost man" in Cantonese, these ghosts are often foreign and used to be mostly pale white when spotted in the past. Recently, black coloured ones have also appeared and have become so prevalent that you are more likely to bump into one of these than an actual Singaporean human! It is also pertinent to note that one must avoid them at all costs this seventh month as it is also Jay-See-I (pronounced J-C-I) haunting month. They may well be one of the auditors from Gwai Lo Land and it will be a straight road to hell if you kennah caught by them!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Bird Park II 之鸟中鸟
R RATED, Read on if you are 18 and above.
Dr: Yes young man, how can I help you?
鸟人: Loctor ar, I cannot piak piak...
Dr: Pee-ark Pee-ark? What is that?
鸟人: Aiyah, piak piak loh you know... (moves his right middle finger in and out of his left fisted hand)
Dr: Oh... You mean to have sexual intercourse?
鸟人: Yah la, sex la. How loctor??? Can help boh? Got medicine?
Dr: So you have problems when you have sex with your girlfriend?
鸟人: No. I no girlfriend.
Dr: Prostitutes?
鸟人: No, my mother say cannot go find chicken.
Dr: Boyfriend??
鸟人: Loctor, you say I homo?? I hoot you understand???
Dr, puzzled: Then??
鸟人: I kaki lai! My left hand! (hand still fisted)
Dr, sighs: so whats the problem?
鸟人: I think I don't last long enough.... Can I have 伟哥??
Dr: But who are you having sex with??
鸟人 (grins): Don't have but I want to be stronger mah!
Dr: Yes young man, how can I help you?
鸟人: Loctor ar, I cannot piak piak...
Dr: Pee-ark Pee-ark? What is that?
鸟人: Aiyah, piak piak loh you know... (moves his right middle finger in and out of his left fisted hand)
Dr: Oh... You mean to have sexual intercourse?
鸟人: Yah la, sex la. How loctor??? Can help boh? Got medicine?
Dr: So you have problems when you have sex with your girlfriend?
鸟人: No. I no girlfriend.
Dr: Prostitutes?
鸟人: No, my mother say cannot go find chicken.
Dr: Boyfriend??
鸟人: Loctor, you say I homo?? I hoot you understand???
Dr, puzzled: Then??
鸟人: I kaki lai! My left hand! (hand still fisted)
Dr, sighs: so whats the problem?
鸟人: I think I don't last long enough.... Can I have 伟哥??
Dr: But who are you having sex with??
鸟人 (grins): Don't have but I want to be stronger mah!
Friday, June 10, 2011
The Nocturnist
It's been discovered that Docs at night very sleepy (ah bud den??!) and we need to train a new breed of nocturnal drs.
Vampires would have made the ideal NOCTURNIST, except that at the time of this blog, I still have not friend (FB or otherwise) a real one (though blood suckers are aplenty in any HR dept).
I think it's very impt for Singapore to quickly adopt this concept and start a residency programme to train vampire doctors! Trust me, Jay-See-I (pronounced as J-C-I) will soon audit you for the number of
And Dr Og volunteer to be the
In the second year, they will learn to take blood like true vampires; needles and syringes optional. The number of blood they can take shall be limited to ONE. (If you work them too hard, they will quit and the programme will fail! How can residency fail tio boh?)
The third and final year will be the critical year! This will be the toughest year where they will be required to stay from 11pm to 6am...... in a discotheque. Please understand that the Nocturnist will be permanently nocturnal. As such where else can he go relax and unwind on off days? As far as Dr Og is concerned, we should only have female residents since budget is limited and girls can get into discos free on ladies nights! We need work life balance for the pos Gen Z mah!!!
So you might ask, Where got training like that!!?? Come on, we must be fair and treat our residents as slack as the other specialty.
To bring the concept further, we should also have nocturnal multidisciplinary team with nocturnal nurses, OTs, PTs and MSWs... (and not just uniform night in the discos). What the heck, why don't we set up our third medical school as a Nocturnally Imperial College or Imperially Nocturnal College ( whose name come first is very important and needs to be deliberated carefully).
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| Sounds stupid to you??!! Yeah, it probably is... |
PS: Love Song For A Vampire :)
RETRO SIAH!!!
Tags: Fun, Nocturnist, Medical, Vampire
Wednesday, June 08, 2011
Bird Park
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| Via http://funny-pictures-blog.com/ |
Senior Doctor: This elderly gentleman said that he cannot stand. Uncle, can stand in the morning?
Ah Pek: Morning also cannot la.
Senior Doctor to Blur F**k Medical Student (BMFS): Please proceed with the examination.
BFMS starts examining Ah Pek's legs much to his displeasure.
Senior Doctor to BMFS: What are you doing???
BFMS panics: Er.... I can't find anything wrong with his legs, the strength and reflexes are intact... and he walked in just now.....
Senior Doctor: This is a urologist clinic you bodoh!
Tags: Fun, Urology, Medical Student
Tuesday, June 07, 2011
Dr Og's My Plate
Something made Dr Og sibei buay song recently. I had not long ago taken much effort to teach and help my daughter memorize this:
Then the Bee Kok president, Obama's wife, Michelle intro a new version!
Wah lau, you all can decide or not! Wait I get scolded by my bao bei daughter leh... ask her learn wrong things!
Also hor, Asians alot cannot lim guni la! Dairy products eat liao lao sai... I as a prooo-fessssioner suggest this one better:
1. Wine is now officially part of Asian cuisine with the mainland Chinese buying all the La-fite and La-tour! Now the ang mohs cannot afford their wine liao so of course you don't see it included in the western version! Wine is also good for health loh and one glass a day decreases your cardiac risk.
2. If you don't like La-tour and prefer to La-Kopi, drink kopi orh kosong! Unlike dairy, it has zero calories. Don't drink kopi how to survive the rest of the day??? Especially hang over from last night's wine!
3. Honestly, I don't really know what is Grain in the original version la. Dr Og only knows that here in Singapore, we eat RICE. Ok la, roti prata also can.
4. Bak You is also an essential part of our healthy diet. If no Lard, you will have no Bak Chor Mee, Char Kway Teow and every other (tasty) dish you can think of! Those who claim that Bak You is Bad For You, show me the evidence! Show me a single evidence based literature that Bak You is bad!
5. Starch and MSG is essential for making those thick thick broth that we all like so much. Especially shark's fin soup! Don't believe the Ang Moh when they tell you sharks are endangered la. The last I check, they are still attacking humans in Bondi Beach Australia leh.
AND since people so gian to know what is on My Plate in the hospital, this is it loh:
We have lots of peanuts. Quite good la, a whole plate of it! You are also provided free water cooler H2O for lubrication while they shove it down your throat. If not enough, can find KY jelly anywhere in the wards!
Tags: Fun, My Plate, Diet
Then the Bee Kok president, Obama's wife, Michelle intro a new version!
Wah lau, you all can decide or not! Wait I get scolded by my bao bei daughter leh... ask her learn wrong things!
Also hor, Asians alot cannot lim guni la! Dairy products eat liao lao sai... I as a prooo-fessssioner suggest this one better:
2. If you don't like La-tour and prefer to La-Kopi, drink kopi orh kosong! Unlike dairy, it has zero calories. Don't drink kopi how to survive the rest of the day??? Especially hang over from last night's wine!
3. Honestly, I don't really know what is Grain in the original version la. Dr Og only knows that here in Singapore, we eat RICE. Ok la, roti prata also can.
4. Bak You is also an essential part of our healthy diet. If no Lard, you will have no Bak Chor Mee, Char Kway Teow and every other (tasty) dish you can think of! Those who claim that Bak You is Bad For You, show me the evidence! Show me a single evidence based literature that Bak You is bad!
5. Starch and MSG is essential for making those thick thick broth that we all like so much. Especially shark's fin soup! Don't believe the Ang Moh when they tell you sharks are endangered la. The last I check, they are still attacking humans in Bondi Beach Australia leh.
AND since people so gian to know what is on My Plate in the hospital, this is it loh:
We have lots of peanuts. Quite good la, a whole plate of it! You are also provided free water cooler H2O for lubrication while they shove it down your throat. If not enough, can find KY jelly anywhere in the wards!
Tags: Fun, My Plate, Diet
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Why They So Like Dat?
Last week got many holidays, so Dr Og managed to steal some time off and go out with friends.
We were at a HiFi exhibition when my friend made unsubstantiated statement no. 1:
"They say this HiFi set sibei solid."
When I probed further about who they were, he could not tell me and this lead to unsubstantiated statement no. 2:
"I read about it from somewhere"
Of course anal retentive me cannot let it just go down like that so I asked where was this somewhere? This did not lead to anymore statements. My friend got angry with me and left.
How often it is that we hear people telling us that "they tell us this treatment good" or "read somewhere that this was useful". How often it is that people get angry when we tell them not to trust they.
The big question is really how can we become they and spread some correct messages for once.
Who are this people making irresponsible, unsubstantiated and evidenceless remarks?
And why they so like dat?
We were at a HiFi exhibition when my friend made unsubstantiated statement no. 1:
"They say this HiFi set sibei solid."
When I probed further about who they were, he could not tell me and this lead to unsubstantiated statement no. 2:
"I read about it from somewhere"
Of course anal retentive me cannot let it just go down like that so I asked where was this somewhere? This did not lead to anymore statements. My friend got angry with me and left.
How often it is that we hear people telling us that "they tell us this treatment good" or "read somewhere that this was useful". How often it is that people get angry when we tell them not to trust they.
The big question is really how can we become they and spread some correct messages for once.
Who are this people making irresponsible, unsubstantiated and evidenceless remarks?
And why they so like dat?
Friday, November 04, 2005
小明的日记簿 Episode 3:
小明的日记簿 is an epic novel which depicts the ridiculous life of a medical student. The characters of this epic novel are fictional. Any similarities with person(s) dead or alive is purely due to your own imagination
Foreword:
In the last episode of 小明的日记簿, Jassie commented:
"HAHAHA kinda reminds me of harry potter though... tom riddle's diary... "
Just wanna say that my story is on a hairy doctor..... not harry potter!
And there ain't no magic in medicine........
Mao Mao was hairy even as a little boy. He especially hated it when those ugly aunties with their curly hair and acne cratered face came over and pinch him on the cheeks saying "wah boy boy so much hair, soooo cute!" He was worried that they would infect him with the acne germs. Being hairy was bad enough, protect his complexion he must.
Mao Mao would later learn in microbiology classes that the germs he was so afraid of was Propionibacterium acnes, a skin bacteria. For now, Mao Mao was just a freshman not really enjoying his orientation.
He had no idea what the hell they were doing. Apparently it was a float like those in Chingay. As with the tradition of the medical faculty, the theme of the float was some Disney cartoon.
"Wah lau, sibei embarrassing...." Mao Mao thought. The other faculties were making cool stuff like dragon with coke cans or some post modern structures. "Disney cartoon..... sigh....."
At least tonight was the last night of orientation. But tonight they can't go home. The float had to be perfect! They were making the final touches for the judging tomorrow morning. Just as Mao Mao was relaxing one corner, Meng Kee appeared all excited. "Heh we've got allocated a good job tonight!"
Before Mao Mao could protest they were driven by a year two senior in his BMW 5 series to the carpark where the float presentation would take place the next day. A pretty fresh(wo)man in supermini mini skirt was in the front seat. The castle part of the float had already been transported to the carpark.
"Ok dudes get off here, you guys jagar the castle. be careful the law people come and vandalise!" The senior than drove off with the pretty fresh(wo)man and the mini skirt become more and more mini as they disappeared into the night.
"Wah lau, drive us here also need to have female escort meh?" Mao Mao complained. Plus he had heard from his friend in law fac that they were going to boycott the entire float thingie since they lost every year anyway. They were probably getting drank in someone's hostel room tonight. "Jagar simi? Think I security guard......"
Meng Kee took out a green groundsheet from his bag and laid it on the floor. "Good mah, volunteer and get in the good books of the seniors! Somemore here no need to do anything, can sleep!" He proceeded to lie down to snooze.
Before Mao Mao even sat down on the ground sheet, Meng Kee was already snoring away. Mao Mao felt itchy all over. Being hairy, he trapped plenty of heat and those damned insects had a hard time flying out of the hairy maze in his legs once they flew in.
Mao Mao was looking for some cream in his bag when he saw that diary again. He had forgotten all about it after dumping it in his bag that day.
He had the whole night ahead of him, this could prove interesting......
He flipped to page one, "这是小明的日记簿。生人勿进!”
Then he turned the page,
Foreword:
In the last episode of 小明的日记簿, Jassie commented:
"HAHAHA kinda reminds me of harry potter though... tom riddle's diary... "
Just wanna say that my story is on a hairy doctor..... not harry potter!
And there ain't no magic in medicine........
Mao Mao was hairy even as a little boy. He especially hated it when those ugly aunties with their curly hair and acne cratered face came over and pinch him on the cheeks saying "wah boy boy so much hair, soooo cute!" He was worried that they would infect him with the acne germs. Being hairy was bad enough, protect his complexion he must.
Mao Mao would later learn in microbiology classes that the germs he was so afraid of was Propionibacterium acnes, a skin bacteria. For now, Mao Mao was just a freshman not really enjoying his orientation.
He had no idea what the hell they were doing. Apparently it was a float like those in Chingay. As with the tradition of the medical faculty, the theme of the float was some Disney cartoon.
"Wah lau, sibei embarrassing...." Mao Mao thought. The other faculties were making cool stuff like dragon with coke cans or some post modern structures. "Disney cartoon..... sigh....."
At least tonight was the last night of orientation. But tonight they can't go home. The float had to be perfect! They were making the final touches for the judging tomorrow morning. Just as Mao Mao was relaxing one corner, Meng Kee appeared all excited. "Heh we've got allocated a good job tonight!"
Before Mao Mao could protest they were driven by a year two senior in his BMW 5 series to the carpark where the float presentation would take place the next day. A pretty fresh(wo)man in supermini mini skirt was in the front seat. The castle part of the float had already been transported to the carpark.
"Ok dudes get off here, you guys jagar the castle. be careful the law people come and vandalise!" The senior than drove off with the pretty fresh(wo)man and the mini skirt become more and more mini as they disappeared into the night.
"Wah lau, drive us here also need to have female escort meh?" Mao Mao complained. Plus he had heard from his friend in law fac that they were going to boycott the entire float thingie since they lost every year anyway. They were probably getting drank in someone's hostel room tonight. "Jagar simi? Think I security guard......"
Meng Kee took out a green groundsheet from his bag and laid it on the floor. "Good mah, volunteer and get in the good books of the seniors! Somemore here no need to do anything, can sleep!" He proceeded to lie down to snooze.
Before Mao Mao even sat down on the ground sheet, Meng Kee was already snoring away. Mao Mao felt itchy all over. Being hairy, he trapped plenty of heat and those damned insects had a hard time flying out of the hairy maze in his legs once they flew in.
Mao Mao was looking for some cream in his bag when he saw that diary again. He had forgotten all about it after dumping it in his bag that day.
He had the whole night ahead of him, this could prove interesting......
He flipped to page one, "这是小明的日记簿。生人勿进!”
Then he turned the page,
" 七月十五，晴天。
为了她，我来到了这个鬼地方。
起初我以为我会放得下。
也许我会想你，
也许我会忘记，
也许已没有也许。
至少进入了医学院，我天天都能看得到她！今天上解剖学讲座，她就坐在我下面！噢！我小明发誓，一定要追到她........"
为了她，我来到了这个鬼地方。
起初我以为我会放得下。
也许我会想你，
也许我会忘记，
也许已没有也许。
至少进入了医学院，我天天都能看得到她！今天上解剖学讲座，她就坐在我下面！噢！我小明发誓，一定要追到她........"
"Wah biang!" Mao Mao thought. "This senior is like some perverted stalker with a penchant for cheesy chinese songs!!"
Before he could read on, he heard a car approaching fast. The car came to a screeching halt right in front of them. The headlights were blaring into his eyes but Mao Mao could make out the silhouette of a girl came out of the car.
"Hi, I'm Julie. I brought you guys supper."
Julie is good. Julie is Mao Mao's favourite brand of biscuits.
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