The Radiologist held up the request form and his hand was shaking. He was reading the form as he would a X-ray, against the light of the ceiling. I made a mental note that radiology was a discipline I would never consider, given that the radiologists I've met so far, half a year into my Housemanship, were nothing short of coo coo.
"You can go and tell your consultant there is no way I will do this!!! This is ridiculous!!! There is no urgency!!!!" He bellowed.
I wasn't particularly flustered given that this sort of treatment was a day in day out affair to me by now. It was just that I could not stand his stale cigarette smelling breath in my face. I uttered some apology and had wanted to leave. After all, I've done my part. The consultant wanted me to kamikaze and I had kamikazed (君要臣死 臣不得不死). The Radiologist had a rejection rate of almost a 100% for urgent requests and there was a 100% risk of getting at least an angry stare of disapproval if not the more common hairdryer treatment of being yelled at.
Unfortunately, he was not done with me yet.
"And it is not COOP LOOP, you....... It's COPE LOOP!!!!! You think chicken coop?!!! You......"
Ummm, the dark dingy radiology department did somewhat remind me of a chicken coop.... Freudian slip, my bad.
He took out a marker, drew several lines across "coop" and then wrote the word "cope" across the whole of the A4 sized request form. As he handed the form back to me, he hesitated for a while. Realizing that the nurses might misconstrue that he had agreed to the procedure since his distinct handwriting (and his distinct stale cigarette smell) was spluttered across the request, he tore the form into two before giving it back to me.
As I was to exit the radio department, my pager unsurprisingly rang and I had to make a call back to the ward. A female house officer strolled in and waved a big hello to the Radiologist. His deep frown turned into a crooked smile and they started chatting. I wouldn't say that his hands was all over her, but they were close enough. She then took out a request form in a by-the-way manner and he happily signed it without even so much as to glance on it (his eyes were on [the wrong parts of] her).
I waited for the female HO outside. She was a good friend.
"Wanna go quickly grab some dinner before going on-call?" I asked her and she nodded.
"Wah you damn power. You know, I'm still a 100% reject rate!"
"Next time wear a skirt la!" She said.
Moral of the story: unless you are wearing a skirt, don't expect your busy fellow male HO to wait for you for dinner.
Showing posts with label Singapore. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Singapore. Show all posts
Monday, October 03, 2016
Thursday, September 22, 2016
Fresh Off The Boat
Wah! Today the news NUS student got punished for making freshmen orientation look like lup sup bar! Actually what did they do huh? The picture on the ST website shows the freshmen dancing line dance niah. The article also mention the Arts Faculty got student kennah kar chng bua gu you (butter backside) for simulating rape during orientation? Wah really karma lor. Some say these the ginnahs kennah punished very buay kum wan since these were traditions pass down by seniors. Wah lau, you NUS elitistest (I invent this word one elitist plus -est), senior tell you to jump then you jump meh?
Dr Og is genuinely quite disturbed since I have a daughter. Also nowadays boys all very weak. If son kennah groped (by other boys) during orientation also will get traumatised. But lets leave the future aside, Dr Og's daughter still small, and reminisce about the past......
Long long time ago, Dr Og was also an undergrad freshman. Sadly, my orientation was also traumatising but no where near so happening as the Arts Fac people leh.
When you join the medicine orientation, first and foremost is disappointment. Somehow, most of the chio girls fail medicine interview and all go dentistry. Left maybe one or two not bad ones. To begin with already not so many girls coz that era got quota for female medicine undergrad. By orientation time, the few pretty girls (actually only two) already chope liao. There was a medicamp where I suppose is orientation for orientation and those girls got hitched liao. Dr Og of course din attend, wah lau, army not enough camping ar????). And so begins a merry go round of inbreeding.
What did we do in the medicine orientation as freshman? There was no hanky panky. There was no simulated games of any kind. There was no lewd cheers. Boy, was it traumatisingly boring! Actually, we were making some float (the Chingay float kind of float) for Rag and Flag. Build some imaginary boat which is mounted on a motor vehicle is already very boh liao, but to have to build some Disney themed float is as regressive as it gets. I thought we go Uni to become adults? At least do some Sci Fi or Horror, Vampire vs Alien design la (last time no Zombies yet, now I sure suggest Zombie apocalypse float).
So Dr Og decided just stay under radar and quiet quiet follow instructions. I quietly stick colour papers (and pray silently for all the unnecessarily dead trees) on the float but then suddenly, this self appointed as leader skinny girl come and scold me.
"Why you tear the paper never use scissors to cut??!!!" She screamed at me.
Hello aunty, the judges sit how far away look at your float? You think they can see the paper is cut or torn meh?
The girl buay song went to complain to a senior year two medic who was some mad socks president. He came over and attempted to ask me to use the scissors. I picked up the scissors, put it in his hands and told him, own time own target, carry on. Senior tell me to cut then I cut meh? I flip my motorola clam shell phone open, call my buddy Ah Bui, "Bro meet you Arts canteen eat beef kway teow!" There sure more happening!
NB: The point of the story? If you blind blind choose to follow tradition and do what your seniors did, then don't kpkb when you kar chng tiok bua gu you!
Dr Og is genuinely quite disturbed since I have a daughter. Also nowadays boys all very weak. If son kennah groped (by other boys) during orientation also will get traumatised. But lets leave the future aside, Dr Og's daughter still small, and reminisce about the past......
Long long time ago, Dr Og was also an undergrad freshman. Sadly, my orientation was also traumatising but no where near so happening as the Arts Fac people leh.
When you join the medicine orientation, first and foremost is disappointment. Somehow, most of the chio girls fail medicine interview and all go dentistry. Left maybe one or two not bad ones. To begin with already not so many girls coz that era got quota for female medicine undergrad. By orientation time, the few pretty girls (actually only two) already chope liao. There was a medicamp where I suppose is orientation for orientation and those girls got hitched liao. Dr Og of course din attend, wah lau, army not enough camping ar????). And so begins a merry go round of inbreeding.
What did we do in the medicine orientation as freshman? There was no hanky panky. There was no simulated games of any kind. There was no lewd cheers. Boy, was it traumatisingly boring! Actually, we were making some float (the Chingay float kind of float) for Rag and Flag. Build some imaginary boat which is mounted on a motor vehicle is already very boh liao, but to have to build some Disney themed float is as regressive as it gets. I thought we go Uni to become adults? At least do some Sci Fi or Horror, Vampire vs Alien design la (last time no Zombies yet, now I sure suggest Zombie apocalypse float).
So Dr Og decided just stay under radar and quiet quiet follow instructions. I quietly stick colour papers (and pray silently for all the unnecessarily dead trees) on the float but then suddenly, this self appointed as leader skinny girl come and scold me.
"Why you tear the paper never use scissors to cut??!!!" She screamed at me.
Hello aunty, the judges sit how far away look at your float? You think they can see the paper is cut or torn meh?
The girl buay song went to complain to a senior year two medic who was some mad socks president. He came over and attempted to ask me to use the scissors. I picked up the scissors, put it in his hands and told him, own time own target, carry on. Senior tell me to cut then I cut meh? I flip my motorola clam shell phone open, call my buddy Ah Bui, "Bro meet you Arts canteen eat beef kway teow!" There sure more happening!
NB: The point of the story? If you blind blind choose to follow tradition and do what your seniors did, then don't kpkb when you kar chng tiok bua gu you!
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Remembering SARS - Part I
Early March 2003.
A new strain of virus have been reported and was apparently causing deaths in countries like China, Hong Kong and Vietnam. A recommendation was made for doctors who were seeing feverish patients to don N95 masks in addition to other universal precautions.
I was a junior (very junior) doctor in a surgical unit. Honestly, I was never surgically inclined and this was just one of those postings I had to pass through. In fact I was near the end of the posting and celebrations were round the corner.
The news of the new deadly viral strains were causing some concerns but no one seemed to really care, definitely not the nurses. When I questioned them why they were not wearing masks when treating febrile patients, they laughed in my face.
"Why, you scared is it... hahahha......"
Is China, HK and Vietnam really that far away? I asked myself.
One night, I was asked to see a febrile patient with abdominal pain. He had a travel history. I asked the ward staff for a N95 mask. The nurses refused. I asked to speak to the nursing officer.
"Aiyah, its just appendicitis. Why you need the mask?" She said, attempting to dismiss me.
I insisted on the mask and threatened not to see the patient if not given. She could have called my bluff but she relented begrudgingly and not before making threats about how my Consultants would hear about this.
After slapped the mask into my hands and she couldn't help adding, "You better keep this with you for one week. This very expensive mask!"
None of us would have known that this very nursing officer would be the one who will soon be going after doctors who did not follow infectious protocols as the pandemic exploded in our face soon after.
In the next week or two, the new viral strain was named Severe acute respiratory syndrome SARS) and the very first cases appeared in Singapore.
A new strain of virus have been reported and was apparently causing deaths in countries like China, Hong Kong and Vietnam. A recommendation was made for doctors who were seeing feverish patients to don N95 masks in addition to other universal precautions.
I was a junior (very junior) doctor in a surgical unit. Honestly, I was never surgically inclined and this was just one of those postings I had to pass through. In fact I was near the end of the posting and celebrations were round the corner.
The news of the new deadly viral strains were causing some concerns but no one seemed to really care, definitely not the nurses. When I questioned them why they were not wearing masks when treating febrile patients, they laughed in my face.
"Why, you scared is it... hahahha......"
Is China, HK and Vietnam really that far away? I asked myself.
One night, I was asked to see a febrile patient with abdominal pain. He had a travel history. I asked the ward staff for a N95 mask. The nurses refused. I asked to speak to the nursing officer.
"Aiyah, its just appendicitis. Why you need the mask?" She said, attempting to dismiss me.
I insisted on the mask and threatened not to see the patient if not given. She could have called my bluff but she relented begrudgingly and not before making threats about how my Consultants would hear about this.
After slapped the mask into my hands and she couldn't help adding, "You better keep this with you for one week. This very expensive mask!"
None of us would have known that this very nursing officer would be the one who will soon be going after doctors who did not follow infectious protocols as the pandemic exploded in our face soon after.
In the next week or two, the new viral strain was named Severe acute respiratory syndrome SARS) and the very first cases appeared in Singapore.
Monday, February 18, 2013
Dr Og's Off-White Paper on Preparing Singapore Healthcare for 6.9 Million People
Dr Og is apolitical and will not comment on the quality of toilet paper in public hospitals let alone the recent White Paper on Population. Honestly Dr Og is a small lokun with little helicopter perspective and the last time I comment on TCM also tio scolded... haiz
Anyway, whether in 2030 we got lak bak gao chup ban lang (6.9 mil) or not, Dr Og thinks we better start preparing our healthcare system and hospitals. Don't goondu goondu buy super tight skinny jeans and discover after Chinese New Year all the goodies cannot wear liao, right!!??!!
So Dr Og presents his:
1. Health Promotion
Health Promotion Board has always been very solid in providing educational materials to promote good health and well being. From animals to vegetables, their adverts (almost) always strike a cord with fellow Singaporeans. In fact I think they are well prepared because the mascots they use are very international, like generic elephant, giraffe and monkey instead of recognizable local species like orang utan or dugong. So our ever increasing international crowd will have no problems identifying with these beasts.
However, in my Off-White Paper, I will like to propose having overseas health promotion! After all by 2030, most of our residents will be foreigners. It will be too late for anybrainwashing form of health promotion by the time they are parachuted in at their middle age. And don't you want to see those HPB monkeys speaking in Tagalog?
2. Training of Doctors
If you are not in the medical line, you may not know that postgraduate / specialist training for doctors has undergone a major change in the past few years. We have cleverly adopted the American system of residency training (think Dr Doug Ross (George Clooney) in ER or Dr Meredith Grey (Ellen Pompeo) in Grey's Anatomy). That's cool right? Particularly when we are becoming a really international nation.
What is even more cool is that while the old training trains doctor to be fast and accurate when seeing patients, the new residency programme allows the trainee doctors to slowly take their time. But with 6.9 million where got time, tio boh?
Therefore in the new residency, not only need to learn how to see patients fast fast, also need to learn to hold urine and skip lunch. The exams will not be about clinical work but how long your bladder can tahan before you need to use rubber band (for guys, for girls, can someone from the female sex advise?). Indeed, with 6.9 million people, there will just be people(not urine or faeces) overflowing toilets lor!
3. Improvements in Hospitals
3a. Increasing Hospital Beds
Given that there is simply a lack of hospital beds now with just 5.3 million people, there needs to be innovative ways of increasing hospital beds! We are already parking beds on corridors. So Dr Og suggest triple decker beds! Never mind if its so crowded until like those 雾锁南洋 (The Awakening) refugee boats! By then we all will be so use to being pack like sardine and be totally desensitized!
Since there are so many water features and ponds in hospitals, we can also have floating beds on them. So patients can now truly enjoy the soothing sound of water running. These luxurious water beds will of course only be opened up to rich private patients.
3b. Translators
Being truly international, we need to hire translators. No, we do not need translators for the various South Asian or exotic European languages. First we need English to English translators. Strangely in the hospital, everyone speaks English but nobody seem to understand each others' English because of the accent. For eg. we will need a translator for someone to translate Indian English to Singlish or from American English to Filipino English. The combinations are scarily more than Street Fighter 4 combos and we need to hire translators now!!!
Secondly, we will also of course need translators for our local spoken languages and dialects as we will soon be the minority. Even now, our ah pek ah emmm are having a hard time communicating with the medical staff in the wards and clinics!
4. Engage TCM and other traditional healers
My last suggestions. Get TCM and traditional healers to help out! Sure, they don't practice evidence based medicine but so what? There are 6.9 million people can?!! And all deserve some form of medical help right?
Mostly, I'm adding this in to appease the dude who posted an angry comment on my TCM expose. :)
Anyway, whether in 2030 we got lak bak gao chup ban lang (6.9 mil) or not, Dr Og thinks we better start preparing our healthcare system and hospitals. Don't goondu goondu buy super tight skinny jeans and discover after Chinese New Year all the goodies cannot wear liao, right!!??!!
So Dr Og presents his:
Off-White Paper on Preparing Singapore Healthcare for 6.9 Million People (And A Core of 3 Million Singaporeans).
1. Health Promotion
 |
| HPB monkey! Source: HPB loh |
However, in my Off-White Paper, I will like to propose having overseas health promotion! After all by 2030, most of our residents will be foreigners. It will be too late for any
2. Training of Doctors
If you are not in the medical line, you may not know that postgraduate / specialist training for doctors has undergone a major change in the past few years. We have cleverly adopted the American system of residency training (think Dr Doug Ross (George Clooney) in ER or Dr Meredith Grey (Ellen Pompeo) in Grey's Anatomy). That's cool right? Particularly when we are becoming a really international nation.
What is even more cool is that while the old training trains doctor to be fast and accurate when seeing patients, the new residency programme allows the trainee doctors to slowly take their time. But with 6.9 million where got time, tio boh?
Therefore in the new residency, not only need to learn how to see patients fast fast, also need to learn to hold urine and skip lunch. The exams will not be about clinical work but how long your bladder can tahan before you need to use rubber band (for guys, for girls, can someone from the female sex advise?). Indeed, with 6.9 million people, there will just be people(not urine or faeces) overflowing toilets lor!
3. Improvements in Hospitals
3a. Increasing Hospital Beds
 |
| Hospital Beds in 2030! |
Since there are so many water features and ponds in hospitals, we can also have floating beds on them. So patients can now truly enjoy the soothing sound of water running. These luxurious water beds will of course only be opened up to rich private patients.
3b. Translators
Being truly international, we need to hire translators. No, we do not need translators for the various South Asian or exotic European languages. First we need English to English translators. Strangely in the hospital, everyone speaks English but nobody seem to understand each others' English because of the accent. For eg. we will need a translator for someone to translate Indian English to Singlish or from American English to Filipino English. The combinations are scarily more than Street Fighter 4 combos and we need to hire translators now!!!
Secondly, we will also of course need translators for our local spoken languages and dialects as we will soon be the minority. Even now, our ah pek ah emmm are having a hard time communicating with the medical staff in the wards and clinics!
4. Engage TCM and other traditional healers
My last suggestions. Get TCM and traditional healers to help out! Sure, they don't practice evidence based medicine but so what? There are 6.9 million people can?!! And all deserve some form of medical help right?
Mostly, I'm adding this in to appease the dude who posted an angry comment on my TCM expose. :)
Sunday, November 25, 2012
5 Steps to Becoming a Truly Patient-Centred Public Hospital
 |
| See Ma! Got carps and cigarette butts! |
No scared. Dr Og reveals the 5 secret steps to becoming a truly patient-centred public hospital!!
Step One - Have a Lottery Store
Buying Toto and 4D are undoubtedly the favourite past times of Singaporeans. How can miss buying your lucky numbers just because you are admitted to hospital right? If you miss, the number sure come out one!
Hospitals should have a lottery store right in 7-11 or Cheers like our HDB estates la. To make things easier, let the ah mahs (cleaners) in the ward help patients collect bets and earn some tips for themselves. In OT last minute before the anaesthesia sets in can also put last order. Its win-win for everyone!
Step Two - Have More Yellow Boxes
Ok, Dr Og knows this is controversial. Yah lah, smoking is no good. But isn't it cruel to make the ah pek with COPD (panting) crawl all the way out of the hospital boundary to smoke? Have a heart, condone off more yellow boxes in the hospital for them to smoke.
But have our medical social workers station there to provide counselling and nag at all of them about smoking. This will also increase the work scope of our MSWs and stop them from complaining about "everyday only do financial assessments niah..."
Win-win again!
Step Three - Treat Your Doctors Better
Look. The simple fact is that patients go to a hospital to see doctors and to get treatments. You can have the most friendly counter staff around but all the patients really care about are the 15-minute consults where they get to interact with the doctors.
Du Lan (angry) Doctors (DLDs) are not going to be very nice to patients are they? DLDs will spend every waking moment in angst and in opposition to the hospital administration. All there are in their minds are how to siam the next admin meeting / hospital lecture on anything but patient care and how they will really like to trip the CEO as he walks out of his office before giving him a good piece of their mind.
Yup, DLDs are not effective doctors. Is it really that difficult to make doctors happy? See my next post lah!
 |
| Wah Waterfall. Well done CEO! |
Step Four - Kill the Water Features
I can understand why all CEOs want a pond or a fountain in their hospital. The official story is that the kois and sound of running water are soothing to our patients. In reality, the CEOs are probably comparing "is your pond bigger than my pond" during MOH meetings! Honestly, how many patients you ever see going to enjoy the water features? They are becoming places for people to throw rubbish and their unwanted neon tetras. Also poses a danger for drowning (don't look down on shallow waters ok)!!! Water features are useless, waste water and waste money. Get rid of them, make better use of the space (like 4D shops, yellow boxes or maybe extra hospital beds) and show that you are committed to patient care.
Otherwise, get rid of the CEO.
Step Five - Change Hospital Name Can??
Last time very easy. Hospital in Changi called Changi Hospital. Or named after Singapore. Or at the very least named after a great historical pioneer and philanthropist. Now suddenly named after people Dr Og has never heard before one. Must google then "ohhhh is the ancestor of some rich family."
You really think our ah peks and ah mahs can remember all these names?? Now you ask them where they are when you do orientation, they all tell you they are in Tan Tock Seng coz thats the only hospital with a human name that they know.
So change the name back to like Yishun General, Jurong General before even the taxi drivers get confused.
Especially when its impossible these days to drive to a hospital (even new ones) as there are no carpark one!!!!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
The Seventh Month
Someone asked me why I have not been blogging.
Simple truth is that sometimes when I blog, I feel like I'm writing to myself, or worse, to ghosts.... since there is hardly any response from whoever is reading (if any).....
But since its the hungry ghost month, its highly appropriate for me to at least make an entry for the ghosts out there supporting this blog. (My mother will surely scream choy! and hit me in the head if she saw this)
+Hong+Kong+-+in+the+streets.jpg)
For the Chinese at least, the seventh month can be a rather scary time. We were brought up to believe that the hungry ghosts will do us harm and going out late at night and activities such as swimming were frowned upon during this month. The seventh month this year has been somewhat unsual in that we celebrated NDP in a big way in Marina and will be having the presidential election soon! The pompous fireworks and wong hei (王气) will surely send all the ghosts into hiding!
But that is not true for our hospitals! There remain many scary and unnatural things that we have to look out for!
The Ghost Whisperer
Technically not scary but suspected to be a spirit medium / tang-ki (乩童) of sorts who serves to bridge the living to the dead. He is usually a junior doctor who appears to be very busy and would disappear for a long time but not get anything done at all. When confronted he would insist that he has done a lot of work although not witnessed by any living patients. It is likely that he has an inert ability to see things that other normal house officers and medical officers cannot and was busy helping those poor souls still lingering the corridors of our wards. His disappearance can be explained by the fact that he transists between earth and the netherworld without really knowing. In actual fact, his colleagues all hope that he will go to hell too!
The Lift
Otherwise known as The Elevator. Super slow and often contains scary objects! The Lift in the hospital has a mind of its own having been possessed by the spirit of a nasty ward nursing manager who met an untimely death when the ECG leads, stationeries and paper she was hoarding fell onto her one day. True to her (mean) spirit, you will wait long long if you needed a ride to go to the upper levels. Worse, if you are really down on your luck, The Lift will bring you down to Level -18 instead where you WILL bump into your CEO!!
The Zombies
Another breed of doctors. Unlike the Ghost Whisperer, the Zombies are doctors who specialises in KLKK (Kia Lai Kia Kee) and have no specific directions (be it in life or in their medical career). They are seen wandering and bumping into one another, often getting in the way of those doing real work. Occasionally, by brownian, these Undead Walkers will wander into the canteen and start having a nice cup of coffee while their fellow doctors continue to slough to their deaths in the ward. The Zombies can be identified by their lack of expression and of eye contact. (Compare this again to the Ghost Whisperer who is often anxious and frightened having seen things they shouldn't...) The Zombies come to work in crumpled clothes having have no motivation whatsoever!
The Gwai Lo (鬼佬)
Literally "ghost man" in Cantonese, these ghosts are often foreign and used to be mostly pale white when spotted in the past. Recently, black coloured ones have also appeared and have become so prevalent that you are more likely to bump into one of these than an actual Singaporean human! It is also pertinent to note that one must avoid them at all costs this seventh month as it is also Jay-See-I (pronounced J-C-I) haunting month. They may well be one of the auditors from Gwai Lo Land and it will be a straight road to hell if you kennah caught by them!
Simple truth is that sometimes when I blog, I feel like I'm writing to myself, or worse, to ghosts.... since there is hardly any response from whoever is reading (if any).....
But since its the hungry ghost month, its highly appropriate for me to at least make an entry for the ghosts out there supporting this blog. (My mother will surely scream choy! and hit me in the head if she saw this)
For the Chinese at least, the seventh month can be a rather scary time. We were brought up to believe that the hungry ghosts will do us harm and going out late at night and activities such as swimming were frowned upon during this month. The seventh month this year has been somewhat unsual in that we celebrated NDP in a big way in Marina and will be having the presidential election soon! The pompous fireworks and wong hei (王气) will surely send all the ghosts into hiding!
But that is not true for our hospitals! There remain many scary and unnatural things that we have to look out for!
The Ghost Whisperer
Technically not scary but suspected to be a spirit medium / tang-ki (乩童) of sorts who serves to bridge the living to the dead. He is usually a junior doctor who appears to be very busy and would disappear for a long time but not get anything done at all. When confronted he would insist that he has done a lot of work although not witnessed by any living patients. It is likely that he has an inert ability to see things that other normal house officers and medical officers cannot and was busy helping those poor souls still lingering the corridors of our wards. His disappearance can be explained by the fact that he transists between earth and the netherworld without really knowing. In actual fact, his colleagues all hope that he will go to hell too!
The real Ghost Whisperer looks nothing like this la!
The Lift
Frightful stuff inside!
The Zombies
Another breed of doctors. Unlike the Ghost Whisperer, the Zombies are doctors who specialises in KLKK (Kia Lai Kia Kee) and have no specific directions (be it in life or in their medical career). They are seen wandering and bumping into one another, often getting in the way of those doing real work. Occasionally, by brownian, these Undead Walkers will wander into the canteen and start having a nice cup of coffee while their fellow doctors continue to slough to their deaths in the ward. The Zombies can be identified by their lack of expression and of eye contact. (Compare this again to the Ghost Whisperer who is often anxious and frightened having seen things they shouldn't...) The Zombies come to work in crumpled clothes having have no motivation whatsoever!
Blood stains from yesterday's surgery
The Gwai Lo (鬼佬)
Literally "ghost man" in Cantonese, these ghosts are often foreign and used to be mostly pale white when spotted in the past. Recently, black coloured ones have also appeared and have become so prevalent that you are more likely to bump into one of these than an actual Singaporean human! It is also pertinent to note that one must avoid them at all costs this seventh month as it is also Jay-See-I (pronounced J-C-I) haunting month. They may well be one of the auditors from Gwai Lo Land and it will be a straight road to hell if you kennah caught by them!
Monday, June 13, 2011
Spinal Reflex
Once upon a time, in a country not too far away, there were a series of bank robberies. Based on the CCTV recordings, the robbers wore full-faced motorcycle helmets while committing the heinous acts of crime. No one could see who they were. The authorities decided to ban all full-faced motorcycle helmets in the country.
In the next few months, the number of bank robberies reduced. Even though the number of motorcyclists who sustained severe head injuries and the number of fatalities from road traffic accidents increased, the authorities were happy since there were less bank robberies.
Within the next few months, there were a series of bank robberies. Based on the CCTV recordings, the robbers wore ladies' stockings over their heads while committing the heinous acts of crime. No one could see what they looked like. The authorities decided to ban all sale of ladies' stockings in the country.
In the next few months, the number of bank robberies reduced. The sales of razor blades in the country increased rather significantly and the number of shops that do waxing sprung up all over. The authorities were happy since there were less bank robberies.
Within the next few months, there were a series of bank robberies. Based on the CCTV recordings, the robbers wore toy masks over their heads while committing the heinous acts of crime. No one could see what they looked like. The authorities decided to ban all sale of toy masks in the country.
The children cried.
===
In many places, knee jerk reaction is the norm. The reason it is called a spinal reflex is because the reaction does not use the brain.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Changing Times
Dr Tan Cheng Bock appears in the latest SMA News. Inside you can also see a picture of him with Dr Ang Yong Guan (of the jin jia cham, sibei cham fame) and Mr Tan Jee Say.
Times have changed!
Read the article here.
Tags: Singapore, Politics
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Lan Fang Republic, Malacca and Their Relevance to Singapore
I was surprised when Lan Fang Republic was mentioned by MG Ki Chew. Dr Og is politically apathetic but I was one of the top history student for my year and I would have become a historian (really!) if I din become a
Lan Fang Republic - Huh?
And honestly, what the *#@# is Lan Fang? I have not in my most comprehensive (means chow mug la) study of Southeast Asian history ever come across this name. There can only be two reasons:
1) The historians are so f%$% up they forgot to mention Lan Fang (except in some minor articles)... OR
2) LF Republic was so insignificant no one cared.
I leave you to your own conclusion and unless you have an IQ of 10, the conclusion would be 2) anyway. The only reason why LF Republic is recieving any attention at all is because our MG decided to Ki Chew (literally).
The Malacca Sultanate
Now, let us look at Malacca. (Of course not Malacca of today lah, bodoh!) The Malacca Sultanate was founded no later than 1400 by a Malay prince, Parameswara and was invaded by the Portuguese in 1511 (lasted at least a good five years more than LF Republic!) In its time, the Malacca Sultanate achieved the following:
1) Conversion to Islam in 1409. To date, Islam remains the main religon of the Malay Peninsula.
2) Prevented Thai influence in the Malay Peninsula by successfully repelling their attacks.
3) Encouraged bilateral trade and inter-racial marriages with Chinese when the Sultan married a Ming princess. This was the beginning of the Peranakan culture (or not you where got Little Nonya!!).
The Fall of the Malacca Sultanate
Some may say that the fall of the Malacca Sultanate was inevitable as the Portuguese were too much of a force to deal with. But seriously, our red hair (and hence ang moh) dudes have travelled half the world in ships (not even economy class can??!!!). Some internal factors hastened Malacca's demise!
1) Weak ruling government
The golden age of Malacca, with its wealth and prestige, very much depended on one leader Tun Perak who is the Prime Minister equivalent. After his death however, there was no successor capable of running the state. The Sultan, Mahmud, paid no heed to the administration of the government. He allowed his officers to act as they pleased and this encouraged much bribery and corruption among them.
2) Dependence on Foreigners
Many of the foreign merchants were not loyal to the government of Malacca and some jumped ship (again literally!) and backed the Portuguese during the attack on Malacca. A Chinese merchant, for instance, provided on loan, 5 huge barges to the Portuguese while a Tamil merchant supplied information on Malacca’s defense system. Lagi worse, the Sultanate hired Javanese mercenary soldiers who were not willing to die for a country which wasn’t their own and they chow liao liao when Malacca came under siege.
In short: Weak government and foreign talents were in part to blame for the fall of Malacca.
I think as Singaporeans, there is a need to understand the lessons learned from Malacca Sultanate. Who will Stand Up For Singapore (fave national day song!). External and alien funds can flow out as easily as they flow in. When crisis strikes, only the loyal locals will stay and fight. Time and again this has been shown in history.
And what is the relevance of LF Republic? Beats me....
Tags: Lan Fang Republic, History, Singapore
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Hospital Hierarchy
Houseman Survivor Guide
I. Introduction
II. Hospital Hierarchy
III. A Typical Day
IV. Painkillers
V. Meet The F*ckers
I have been asked to explain the hierarchy in the hospital. I guess that is pretty reasonable though I am quite disappointed....... haven't you all been taking careful notes of my posts!!!??? And by now shouldn't you already know the answers??!!!
I guess not and here goes (from the lowest rank to the highest):
1) The houseman a.k.a house officer, a.k.a HO also known as intern in America
Experience points needed: 0, just need to pass MBBS (Monkey REpublic)
The lowest life form in the hospital. Looked down by everyone and despised even by the amahs. Despite the fact that they do the bulk of the dirty work, do not even think of appreciation. A HO's duties include getting to work before his bosses and preparing for the ward round before the team comes. He is in charge of all the ward duties and orders given by the team (we call them changes). He has to take blood, do discharge summaries, speak to full of nonsense relatives that no other team members wish to entertain, take some more blood and occasionally suck his bosses' asses. Do not despair coz each sucky low down brainless job gives you 1 experience point and in no time (actually in one year) you will gain enough EP to raise level.
A successful HO is best described as a prositute, providing the best service to everyone including the MOs, Registrars, Consultants........
2) The medical officer a.k.a MO
Experience points needed: 10,000
After swimming around the wards as an amoebic creature, a HO after one year develops into a more decent life-form (like tamagochi like tat lah) : the MO. A 1st year MO is known as a baby MO. The MO's job is quite different from his amoebic past. For one, he can acutally argue back with the nurses. If things really get out of hand, he can also complain to the nursing officer ("MO also o-hui-cer, NO also o-hui-cer, who scared who). But bare in mind that the nurses always win (unless you no scared make girls cry).
A baby MO with new found power (and dignity) often acts irrationally and rashly. He will not hesitate to show off his knowledge or correct the senior doctors especially if he not been properly baptised into medical practice during the HO year (not tekan-ed enuff).
He will learn that you don't do stupid things like quarrel with nurses and argue with your bosses when he gets a "C" grading for his posting and consequently gets only paltry pay increment and bonuses.
When the MO manages to pass an interview and is successfully accepted into speciality traineeship, he becomes a trainee or MOT. It is something like a promotion in that you are now accorded slightly higher status and more responsibilities are expected of you..... No! You don't get a pay raise, instead you have to PAY for the traineeship!!!! Yes you pay to do more..... its like SM, come on give it to the MOT!
There is another MO entity..... Lurking in some corner of the hospital is the chronic MO. These are doctors who fell off the system but somehow never made it to GP pratice. They are chronic as they do not specialise and they will forever remain MOs. You can easily recognise them from their BCC (臉臭臭) facies and their preoccupation with some other side lines. Chronic MOs are the nautral nemesis of nurses as these are people who can be of equal seniority to the ancient matrons and like them still have not moved on.
Specialist and the Senior ranks
HOs and MOs are not specialist. A MO can transiently become a MO-specialist (MOS) if he passes all the exams but there is not specialist slot for him.
Registrar a.k.a Reg a.k.a 'R'
Experience points: 100,000
Usually when a MO gains enough EP from performing countless procedures, therapies and politics over coffee, he is ready to attain Advanced Specialty Training and raise level to a Reg. The Reg now can independantly make decisions and lead the team. He is a specialist but still need approval and guidance from the Consultant for difficult cases. Otherwise he can afford to come later than the MO for the ward round.
Associate Consultant a.k.a AC
Experience points: 200,000
Having served his time as a Reg, he gains level quickly to become an AC after completing his exit exam. This is the same as the previous Senior Registrar rank. They just change the name to make some hanta kaki senior reg happy. This is usually a transient rank as the AC will soon depart for foreign land to learn this ancient art from a different race.
Consultant
Experience points: 500,000
A consultant is a full fledged specialist. He is now the boss of his own team. Everyone in the team kow tow to him. Other than clinical responsibilities, he has to wrestle with administrative irritations. He has to approve the bloody leave of that stupid MO who decided to get married when the rest are busy preparing for exams.
Senior Consultant
Experience points: 1,000,000
Having grown roots in the department, the senior consultant is a god-like figure. He appears to save the day when less experienced doctors botch the job. He makes the final enlightening comment during the grand ward rounds and he will soon be forced by admin to either semi-retire or go private as he is too expensive to keep around despite the gem that he is.
The Private Doctor
Experience points: 0 or 1,000,000,000,000
Sometimes, doctors fed up with public hospital and will go private! Most times this is an upgrade and the experience points goes up! But at times, some lokun experience points become zero after going private.
I. Introduction
II. Hospital Hierarchy
III. A Typical Day
IV. Painkillers
V. Meet The F*ckers
I have been asked to explain the hierarchy in the hospital. I guess that is pretty reasonable though I am quite disappointed....... haven't you all been taking careful notes of my posts!!!??? And by now shouldn't you already know the answers??!!!
I guess not and here goes (from the lowest rank to the highest):
1) The houseman a.k.a house officer, a.k.a HO also known as intern in America
Experience points needed: 0, just need to pass MBBS (Monkey REpublic)
The lowest life form in the hospital. Looked down by everyone and despised even by the amahs. Despite the fact that they do the bulk of the dirty work, do not even think of appreciation. A HO's duties include getting to work before his bosses and preparing for the ward round before the team comes. He is in charge of all the ward duties and orders given by the team (we call them changes). He has to take blood, do discharge summaries, speak to full of nonsense relatives that no other team members wish to entertain, take some more blood and occasionally suck his bosses' asses. Do not despair coz each sucky low down brainless job gives you 1 experience point and in no time (actually in one year) you will gain enough EP to raise level.
A successful HO is best described as a prositute, providing the best service to everyone including the MOs, Registrars, Consultants........
2) The medical officer a.k.a MO
Experience points needed: 10,000
After swimming around the wards as an amoebic creature, a HO after one year develops into a more decent life-form (like tamagochi like tat lah) : the MO. A 1st year MO is known as a baby MO. The MO's job is quite different from his amoebic past. For one, he can acutally argue back with the nurses. If things really get out of hand, he can also complain to the nursing officer ("MO also o-hui-cer, NO also o-hui-cer, who scared who). But bare in mind that the nurses always win (unless you no scared make girls cry).
A baby MO with new found power (and dignity) often acts irrationally and rashly. He will not hesitate to show off his knowledge or correct the senior doctors especially if he not been properly baptised into medical practice during the HO year (not tekan-ed enuff).
He will learn that you don't do stupid things like quarrel with nurses and argue with your bosses when he gets a "C" grading for his posting and consequently gets only paltry pay increment and bonuses.
When the MO manages to pass an interview and is successfully accepted into speciality traineeship, he becomes a trainee or MOT. It is something like a promotion in that you are now accorded slightly higher status and more responsibilities are expected of you..... No! You don't get a pay raise, instead you have to PAY for the traineeship!!!! Yes you pay to do more..... its like SM, come on give it to the MOT!
There is another MO entity..... Lurking in some corner of the hospital is the chronic MO. These are doctors who fell off the system but somehow never made it to GP pratice. They are chronic as they do not specialise and they will forever remain MOs. You can easily recognise them from their BCC (臉臭臭) facies and their preoccupation with some other side lines. Chronic MOs are the nautral nemesis of nurses as these are people who can be of equal seniority to the ancient matrons and like them still have not moved on.
Specialist and the Senior ranks
HOs and MOs are not specialist. A MO can transiently become a MO-specialist (MOS) if he passes all the exams but there is not specialist slot for him.
Registrar a.k.a Reg a.k.a 'R'
Experience points: 100,000
Usually when a MO gains enough EP from performing countless procedures, therapies and politics over coffee, he is ready to attain Advanced Specialty Training and raise level to a Reg. The Reg now can independantly make decisions and lead the team. He is a specialist but still need approval and guidance from the Consultant for difficult cases. Otherwise he can afford to come later than the MO for the ward round.
Associate Consultant a.k.a AC
Experience points: 200,000
Having served his time as a Reg, he gains level quickly to become an AC after completing his exit exam. This is the same as the previous Senior Registrar rank. They just change the name to make some hanta kaki senior reg happy. This is usually a transient rank as the AC will soon depart for foreign land to learn this ancient art from a different race.
Consultant
Experience points: 500,000
A consultant is a full fledged specialist. He is now the boss of his own team. Everyone in the team kow tow to him. Other than clinical responsibilities, he has to wrestle with administrative irritations. He has to approve the bloody leave of that stupid MO who decided to get married when the rest are busy preparing for exams.
Senior Consultant
Experience points: 1,000,000
Having grown roots in the department, the senior consultant is a god-like figure. He appears to save the day when less experienced doctors botch the job. He makes the final enlightening comment during the grand ward rounds and he will soon be forced by admin to either semi-retire or go private as he is too expensive to keep around despite the gem that he is.
The Private Doctor
Experience points: 0 or 1,000,000,000,000
Sometimes, doctors fed up with public hospital and will go private! Most times this is an upgrade and the experience points goes up! But at times, some lokun experience points become zero after going private.
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