小明的日记簿 Episode 3:

小明的日记簿 is an epic novel which depicts the ridiculous life of a medical student. The characters of this epic novel are fictional. Any similarities with person(s) dead or alive is purely due to your own imagination

Foreword:
In the last episode of 小明的日记簿, Jassie commented:
"HAHAHA kinda reminds me of harry potter though... tom riddle's diary... "
Just wanna say that my story is on a hairy doctor..... not harry potter!
And there ain't no magic in medicine........


Mao Mao was hairy even as a little boy. He especially hated it when those ugly aunties with their curly hair and acne cratered face came over and pinch him on the cheeks saying "wah boy boy so much hair, soooo cute!" He was worried that they would infect him with the acne germs. Being hairy was bad enough, protect his complexion he must.

Mao Mao would later learn in microbiology classes that the germs he was so afraid of was Propionibacterium acnes, a skin bacteria. For now, Mao Mao was just a freshman not really enjoying his orientation.

He had no idea what the hell they were doing. Apparently it was a float like those in Chingay. As with the tradition of the medical faculty, the theme of the float was some Disney cartoon.

"Wah lau, sibei embarrassing...." Mao Mao thought. The other faculties were making cool stuff like dragon with coke cans or some post modern structures. "Disney cartoon..... sigh....."

At least tonight was the last night of orientation. But tonight they can't go home. The float had to be perfect! They were making the final touches for the judging tomorrow morning. Just as Mao Mao was relaxing one corner, Meng Kee appeared all excited. "Heh we've got allocated a good job tonight!"

Before Mao Mao could protest they were driven by a year two senior in his BMW 5 series to the carpark where the float presentation would take place the next day. A pretty fresh(wo)man in supermini mini skirt was in the front seat. The castle part of the float had already been transported to the carpark.

"Ok dudes get off here, you guys jagar the castle. be careful the law people come and vandalise!" The senior than drove off with the pretty fresh(wo)man and the mini skirt become more and more mini as they disappeared into the night.

"Wah lau, drive us here also need to have female escort meh?" Mao Mao complained. Plus he had heard from his friend in law fac that they were going to boycott the entire float thingie since they lost every year anyway. They were probably getting drank in someone's hostel room tonight. "Jagar simi? Think I security guard......"

Meng Kee took out a green groundsheet from his bag and laid it on the floor. "Good mah, volunteer and get in the good books of the seniors! Somemore here no need to do anything, can sleep!" He proceeded to lie down to snooze.

Before Mao Mao even sat down on the ground sheet, Meng Kee was already snoring away. Mao Mao felt itchy all over. Being hairy, he trapped plenty of heat and those damned insects had a hard time flying out of the hairy maze in his legs once they flew in.

Mao Mao was looking for some cream in his bag when he saw that diary again. He had forgotten all about it after dumping it in his bag that day.

He had the whole night ahead of him, this could prove interesting......

He flipped to page one, "这是小明的日记簿。生人勿进!”

Then he turned the page,

" 七月十五，晴天。

为了她，我来到了这个鬼地方。
起初我以为我会放得下。

也许我会想你，
也许我会忘记，
也许已没有也许。

至少进入了医学院，我天天都能看得到她！今天上解剖学讲座，她就坐在我下面！噢！我小明发誓，一定要追到她........"

"Wah biang!" Mao Mao thought. "This senior is like some perverted stalker with a penchant for cheesy chinese songs!!"

Before he could read on, he heard a car approaching fast. The car came to a screeching halt right in front of them. The headlights were blaring into his eyes but Mao Mao could make out the silhouette of a girl came out of the car.

"Hi, I'm Julie. I brought you guys supper."

Julie is good. Julie is Mao Mao's favourite brand of biscuits.

小明的日记簿 Episode 2:

小明的日记簿 is an epic novel which depicts the ridiculous life of a medical student. The characters of this epic novel are fictional. Any similarities with person(s) dead or alive is purely due to your own imagination.

Mao Mao as he is affectionately known by his family was borned hairy. His mother suspected that all his body hair probably made up a substantial amount of his birth weight, a hefty 3.7kg, a big baby for those times. A strange phenomenon was to render Mao Mao hairless as he grew. He will later learn in medical school that the condition is called androgenetic alopecia or simply male pattern balding to the lay person.

At this point of time, Mao Mao was a young 19 year old and this dreaded condition had yet to afflict him. His crowning glory was still very much intact and gave him much needed confidence to chase girls. The same cannot be said of his new found friend from medicine.

Actually Mao Mao had not really decided if he considered Meng Kee his friend. As Meng Kee was just one name down the roster, Mao Mao ended up in the same group as him for almost everything.

Meng Kee was the typical on the wrong ball kind of person. At least as far as Mao Mao was concerned.

"Isn't it great?!!! Mao! We are in medicine! We are going to be doctors! I'm so excited"

On the contrary, Mao Mao had wished he did not go for the interview. After big mouth Aunty Lily told the whole clan he was accepted, his lao pek had brought him before the ancestral altar and made him swear he would go through the 5 year course. He suspected his father had connections with secret society, now he confirmed he is right.

"So you read any books yet? I finish reading Ganung liao. Damn cheem!" Meng Kee went on. Mao Mao had no idea what Ganung was.

"And you got your locker liao?" The good thing about Meng Kee was that he did looked out for Mao Mao.

"But the orientation also not over yet....." Mao Mao replied.

"You don't know lah, all the lockers near our lecture hall all taken liao, better go and get one quick!"

Indeed, Mao Mao went to the estate office and was allocated a locker far far away. He searched high and low before finally finding his locker at one far corner in the Science faculty. The locker was terribly rusted and there was a lock.

"Basket! Which turtle senior never remove his lock." He was already frustrated from getting such a lousy location. He went back to the estate office and a young punk was sent to bust the lock.

Mao Mao removed the busted lock and opened the locker. The interior was moist and algae was growing.

"Wah lau this type of locker, kennah sai." He was not going to use it.

Something else caught his eyes. There was a book inside. He took it out and flipped to the first page:

“这是小明的日记簿。生人勿进！”

小明的日记簿 Episode 1:

小明的日记簿 is an epic novel which will depict the life of a medical student. The characters of this epic novel are fictional. Any similarities with person(s) dead or alive is purely due to your own imagination.

Mao Mao as he was affectionately known by his family because he was hairy, successfully made it to medical school. He was the pride and joy of not only his family but his entire clan. His clan had never produced any doctors of any kind and if you traced his family history far enough, they originated from apes. Ok ok, no need that far...... they originated from southern China and were farmers.

Mao Mao's father was a hawker. He sold vegetables at the wet market just downstairs. Mao Mao used to follow his father around. At the age of 3, he could strike a decent bargain with those curly haired - tatooed eyebrow - aunties that frequented his father's store. He was formidable. A genius in the realms of selling veges.

Strangely, Mao Mao did well in his studies. While running around the market playing catching with his mates, he scored 280 for his PSLE. While kicking football with his kahkis in their favourite open field everyday, he scored 9 distinctions in 'O' levels. He decided to "take it easy, 漫漫来" for 'A' levels. After all, he was poised to take over his father's business which had by then expanded to a mini mart.

"No point waste time score so high marks, relac jack!" He thought. He scored nevertheless.

And as the cliché would have it, Mao Mao went along with his childhood friend Ah Seng for the medicine interview to support him. You know, like how those finalist in beauty pageants will also say they were only there with their friends and got lucky. And as the author of this story will have it, Mao Mao got into medicine and his friend Ah Seng got a one way ticket to Dentistry. The fact that Ah Seng will become the millionaire owner of a chain of dental clinic in the future provides the much needed dramatic irony any story will need.

Getting back to Mao Mao, his 40 year old left-on-the-shelve paternal aunty, Aunty Lily who was staying with him was really quite kaypoh. She opened the letter from the university to Mao Mao which stated:

"Dear Mr Tan Long Mao,

You have been accepted to the faculty of medicine. Please attend the matriculation on 15th July 19.........."

Aunty Lily was breathless!

"Our Mao Mao got into medicine! Our Mao Mao a doctor!!!"

Within the hour, Mao Mao became the designated doctor for the entire clan. There was no escape.

Next episode, find out how Mao Mao finds 小明的日记簿！