Attack of the Aedes Mosquitoes

Just like that, Singapore becomes a Zika hub. The si lang Aedes mozzies one up us; even before we can hoot dengue, they hoot us with Zika.

Actually Dr Og (and possibly all other doctors) have been wondering why it took so long for Zika to reach our shores. After all, Aedes the mosquito IS endemic in Singapore and it IS more local than most homo sapiens in Singapore. And mebbe hor, the Zika virus is also more local and Singaporean than we think. Dr Og not anyhow say one; I have evidences Zika virus may be local.

1. Zika tries to be elitist.
Like all kiasu Singaporean, Zika cluster also must cluster around high class place like Elite Terrace wor!

2. JB custom will kar cheow (disturb)
You know we go JB, always kennah custom issues. Long wait.. oops thats our side problem...  Anyway, now JB custom officers will make life difficult for Zika virus like they do for Singaporeans.

3. Zika in Southeast Asia since long time liao
You can read this paper yourself.  It is more likely than not that there has been Zika outbreaks in Singapore for long long time liao. But since its self limiting and of little harm, like the other one thousand and one viruses, people and doctors just bochap.

But now with the scare in Brazil, Zika become famous and since Singapore epidemiological surveillance is so tekong, we are picking up loads of cases. Dr Og do agree that vector control is very important, even more so now than ever. Last time, we fight the Aedes only prevent Dengue. Now if we whack Aedes, we one stone two birds ar! So more worth it...

The mozzie wipeout however is not very the sucessful leh (obviously doesn't work since dengue and Zika is on the rise), It is always hard to get people to do the right things. Like in Hospital, ask lokuns to wash hands is harder than anything. Touch cadavers, various body secretions, do PR, don't wash hands also can eat lunch.

So Dr Og think we need new campaigns to kill the Aedes. I suggest recruiting the Hougang Horde to help. They are those people who swarmed the road in Hougang Ave 10, like zombies, just to catch a Snorlax for Pokemon Go. These people sibei wu eng, don't mind risking limb and life to catch things and damn thick skin don't even leave when scolded by residents and horned by cars (thick skin prevents mosquitoes bites mah).

But if everyone can contribute, will be even better right. Now the mozzie wipe out got five steps...

Just add step 6 lor. Step 6- if see mosquito, KILL with bare hands

Don't be lazy and soft la Singaporeans, see one mosquito, kill one and if we all just kill one per week, with our rapidly growing population, soon Aedes extinct liao!

Headlines!

Man stands for rights of Mozzies
By CB Chow
Oct 2, 2005
The Longkang Times, National Paper of Monkey Republic

Mr Gan Boh Liao, 40, a Chinese immigrant, lodged a complaint with SPCA (State Prevention of Cruelty Against Animals) today for what he described as "genocide" and "extreme cruelty" against the Aedes mosquitoes.

When interviewed by reporters at the gate of SPCA, Mr Gan was visibly angry. He was pulling his hair.

"SPCA suppose to protect animal correct or not? But they now blur blur dunno what to do, say must think first. We are not talking about racism you know! This is beyond that, this is the massacre of an entire species!" He said, gesticulating his hands wildly.

Mr Gan has been an advocate for minority rights since the early nineties. These included fighting for the rights of neonates (infants below 1 month old) to have breast feeding and his famous hunger strike not to have the National Parks trim trees along roadside against their wishes. Thus far, his efforts had not been successful. He was prompted to act again with the recent increase fumigation and campaign against dengue fever by the authorities.

"They make the mosquitoes out to be this evil thing. This is nothing but pure evil prejudice!" He exclaimed. Mr Gan said he will go on a hunger strike again if his calls for all actions towards Aedes mosquitoes to be stopped is not met.

The Longkang Times spoke to Dr BL Og, a fugitive blogger cum fake doctor who hails from a land infested with Aedes. He believes that fumigation will not be effective as "my readers told me it just chases the mosquitoes from Toa Payoh to Ang Mo Kio" and that portrayal of mosquitoes as evil is indeed unfair "but I am more for the lizards."

In the mean time the director of SPCA commented that they will be holding a special EGM to deliberate if mosquitoes can indeed be considered animals. "We know that they are insects, but animals..... we are not so sure. If not, the SPCA will technically not be able to intervene."

In reaction to this, Mr Gan replied: "See! This is another example of how we discriminate against mosquitoes! Of course they are animals what!" As to the question about how dengue fever has been responsible for the increasing death toll, Mr Gan said, " In the first place the humans were the ones who breed them in their gardens and construction sites. Like that should not fog the mosquitoes but FLOG the humans!"

Floating Bodies?

One day, during my attachment to the Accident and Emergency Dept, the medical officer whom I was shadowing was asked to see a case of "floater".

I excitedly asked, "wah floater, isit like those body float on Monkey River har?"

My MO gave me a knock in the head. "Floaters are those black specks you see floating in your eyes lah, you goondu!"

Chey, I thought what.

Floaters are actually tiny clumps of gel or cells inside the vitreous, the clear jelly-like fluid that fills the inside of your eye. They cast a shadow on the retina and are hence percieved as black objects FLOATING around. They are generally harmless and we do not usually notice them. Sometimes a kan cheong aunty having a lot of stress lately will turn up at the doctor's when they suddenly notice these black floating stuff.

Aunty: lokun ar, die liao! I see some dark dark thing float pass me wor! Mebbe is a ghost!
Lokun: I refer you to the temple medium, actually just next block only.

No huh, no huh! As floaters can sometimes be a symptom of a more serious eye problem, we always ask the ophthalmologist to take a look.

On a more serious note, Dengue Fever has reached an epidemic level in Singapore! To quote our favourite national paper "Public hospital are postponing non-urgent operations because their wards are clogged with dengue patients." Wah the last time such a thing happened was during SARS!

Eh, but what does floaters have to do with dengue fever huh? Let you in on a little secret! Dr Og used to be an expert in killing those bloody (literally, not swearing here) irritating mosquitoes. I dare say I am better than karate kid with his lousy pair of chopsticks!

But sadly, as Dr Og now old liao, those bloody (now I'm swearing) irritating floaters are getting more and more and have seriously impaired my ability to kill those pesty flying vampires. Imagine, moquitoe black black, fly pass you. Then the floaters also black black float pass you. Arrghhh! Cannot tell the difference!

Despite all these, Dr Og swears (again) by his honour to continue his unrelenting battle against the evil Aedes mosquitoes by switching on the aircon and shutting all the windows tight tight!

Floaters! NOT mosquitoes!!

Trackback : Dengue Alert!

Dengue Alert!

Being a responsible (but fake) doctor, I will take this opportunity while my traffic is still somewhat boasted by Sunday's publicity to spread an important message.

You see, I hate mosquitoes! The animosity began in those pre aircon days. At that time we only had fans and the windows were often opened big big to invite these foul creatures into the bedroom. Many nights as a young child I had to endure those sickening itch and could not sleep well. Poor sleep translated into poor attention in school, ultimately resulting in not so good results. I suspect this to be one of the two reasons why I was not given those prestigious gahmen scholarships (or not I will be some big shot writing policies, not blog!). The other being that I didn't apply.

My dislike for these flying vampires grew in my army daze where I was to experience first hand those frightening "tiger mosquitoes". This type of mosquitoes are damn fierce and can even suck your blood through the army uniform! But of course they still pale in comparison with other blood suckers like the forever increasing GST, income tax, road tax and radio license.

Now, mosquitoes not only get on my nerve, they also endanger our well being. Those Aedes mosquitoes carry the dengue virus. Don't worry mosquitoes don't spread the AIDS virus, you only get those from love bites (not mosquitoe bites). But keep in mind that Dengue is potentially fatal. If you have fever and rashes which are like little pin point red dots, please go see a doctor!

Most importantly, as the saying goes, prevention is better than cure (especially when dengue got no cure)! So I did my part by not watering the plants when my mother was away last month. I succeeded in causing most of the plants to dehydrate but when she came back, she was really hoping mad.

Mother: wah lau! why you never water my plants?
BL: wah lau, they breed mosquitoes ok! I get dengue how?
Mother: dun anyhow say ar! I clear the water in the pots everyday!!!!

Yah! Sure you do!

I guess the authority's initiative of getting more inspectors to issue more fines to check for stagnant water ain't gonna be too successful given that there are mothers out there who treasure their pots of plants more than the lifes of their sons. Maybe we should just import more of those slippery lizards! The two residential lizards in my home seemed to be having the time of their life with the feasting. Come to think of it, better go chase them around or not they get too obese and die from coronary heart disease!!!!