How Long Should We Wait?

I was waiting to see my Lokun the other day (yes, Dr Og IS ah pek and need to see dr also lah) and I had to wait one hour! The lady in front of me cow peh cow boo for being seen 15 minutes late, "Aiyoh, like that hor I tell you I might as well come late. Also get seen at the same time WHAT!!"


But then when it was her turn, she stayed in the consult room long long, refuse to leave and thereby contributed to my long waiting time!

Dr Og usually don't complain when I have to wait because my medical colleagues always waive professional charges for me la. Even at A and E, I also don't cut queue and most of the time I don't declare I am a doctor because I paiseh...

I know its quite a hassle to see a lokun because of the long wait. Its like tennis, you wait for the player to wayang abit, bounce the ball, swing the bat and suddenly everything is over in a split second! Still ok if its a sweet young thing tennis player but otherwise what a boring sport.

Waiting for doctor is the same thing. You wait and wait and when you enter the consult room its like kennah hypnotise, cannot remember what you wanted to ask and then the consult over liao!

But how long should we wait?

I'm not talking about how long patients should wait but instead how long should doctors wait for their patients? I can safely say that at least 75% of my patients don't come on time. The range of lateness can be from 5 minutes to anything like a few hours. But because the clinic staff don't want to offend the patients and always got something against doctors, the late patients still get registered and have to be seen.

If I had my way, I will not see any patients that is late. If you are five minutes late, its 50% of a ten minutes consult. Its neither fair to you as a patient to be seen in a rush nor to the doctor who needs to decide on your management.

Patients have many reasons for being late:

1) "Loctor, hospital boh parking one". This one quite true. They build hospital never build car park space one. Expect patients to take helicopter isit?

2) "Raining leh, din bring umbrellllllla". Singapore weather suka suka rain and Dr Og also don't like to take umbrella out, so can understand!

3) "I forgot got appointment until last minute than I rush out!". Aiyah, forgot then forgot all the way can or not?

4) "I was looking for my appointment card..." Alamak, the last time and the last last time already tell you no appointment card also can register...

5) "I come early also must wait!" Ok, you continue waiting.

6) "I was abducted by aliens on my way here!" Boh jiat yok!

7) "Loctor, I have to finish watching 爱 first."Courtesy of anon@1123AM

Sometimes, patients may be late because we cock up on our side too. For eg, they give patients a cardio appointment before the respi appointment and the cardio appointment got delayed.

And sometimes, doctors can be late themselves causing delays in the consult.

But in all honesty, patients being late is the number one cause of why you are not seen on time! The appointment time just keep getting shifted backwards and the ones who are slotted towards the end just gets seen later and later.

So I will like to make an appeal for all those who read this (you must be really bored) to go for your appointments with your doctors early. Simply because the reason why you are not seen on time is because you are late yourself. Have pity on doctors, they are humans and need to have their lunch. They also got family to go back to after work.

And surely you don't want to be the one waiting for one hour behind some kpkb woman.

Green Creatures

As a young kid, I was often fascinated with mythical creatures such as the Yeti and Loch Nest Monster. It was even more fascinating when I visited Scotland that I did not see any monsters (unless you include those ang moh char bor who are double my size with more facial hair than my pelvic region)  but instead found out that a whole tourist industry can be generated from these creatures of unknown origin.

But actually hor, there is also such a mythical monster that has been frequently sighted in our hospitals. In Singapore, we are unable conjure names like The Abdominal Abominable Snowman as its too hard to spell and cannot pronounce in Singlish. So we call this creature, AnAssF (pronounced N-S-F).

The AnAssF is green in colour (mostly)  and was first sighted in the eighties. The sightings have become more frequent as our little island become more urbanized and congested (it will however be wrong to assume causality as con founders such as over pampering mothers need to be ruled out).

Possible areas for sightings include the A and E particularly in the middle of the night. He will appear out of nowhere with the chief complaint of "Can have MC for today boh?" If he manages to get a MC for today, he will routinely try his luck and ask for MC for the entire week. When asked what physical ailment he actually suffers from, he may have anything from anal itch / headache / eye pain / earache / sore throat / chest pain / armpit pain /  leg pain / faint when exposed to sun. Over the years he has learnt not to complain of abdominal pain and/or diarrhoea as that will automatically earn him a PR which is generally unpleasant unless you meet one that enjoys prostatic massages.

Physical examination will invariably yield NAD ("No Abnormalities Detected" /  or sometimes "Not Actually Done") but the kind doctors will always give him the benefit of the doubt. However, the real diagnosis will be revealed when you see the re-entry chop to Zouk on his wrist and it is Thursday wee hours.

Sometimes, the AnAssF may get admitted by some sotong amateur A and E locum, especially if the doting mother (another legendary mythical creature) is accompanying. In the ward, the AnAssF continues to have strange and unexplainable symptoms but no actual signs (except for the washout Zouk re-entry chop) can be detected.

It will not take long for junior doctors to know that the cure all for these green creatures is Atten-C (MC lah).

PS: That said, many NSFs have genuine symptoms. Some are also genuinely very stressed up since their maids are not there to help them do everything. Boy boy needs time to adjust lah!