48 Men

The ongoing saga of the 48 men (and counting) reminds me of the times when we take a sexual history for our patients...

Loctor: Uncle, you got visit commercial sex worker or not?
Ah pek: Huh simi lai er?
Loctor: I mean prostitute la.
Ah pek: Huh? simi prostitute??
Loctor: Aiyah, chicken la...chicken...
Ah pek: Orrrhhh, Gwer! Got la. But tell you ar, I call chicken and then only talk la. I never do it...
Loctor (puzzled): Huh, talk only?? Never have sex??
Ah pek: Yah lah, no piak piak. But talk I also pay...

It is not uncommon (really) that (male) patients tell us that they have gone to CSWs but ended up only having conversations. The possibilities are:

a. Uncle cannot stand
b. Uncle forgot to take his Sildenafil (if you dunno what that is, click on the link, brand names not provided here as Dr Og is impartial!)
c. Uncle bought Sildenafil from JB and kennah counterfeit.
d. Uncle depressed, just need someone to talk to (unlikely because visiting a gahmen psychiatrist is cheaper and most Vietnamese don't speak local dialects)
e. Uncle tok cock (literally)

It is strange that not one of the 48 men brought up the defence of "I only talked to her niah!" in Court. Best still if the victims (48 men) can prove that they have some sort of erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation and could not have penetrated the victim (under age CWS). Whatever the case, it will be impossible to prove that sexual intercourse actually took place though I am not sure if that has any legal impact. Maybe just having the intent and having made payment is bad enough to land you in jail.

So the next time you try to get a sexual history from uncles, don't forget to remind them to check the i/c or passport of the CSW. And if they really just need to talk, refer them to the appropriate people like counsellors, psychologists... (don't bother referring to psychiatrists, they don't generally talk to patients). Beats spending nine weeks at the wrong side of Changi!