My First Kiss

Recently Dr Og had to renew his BCLS certificate.The course is where an instructor runs you through Basic Cardiac Life Support, which comprises mainly protocols of Cardiac Pulmonary Resuscitation. Then you get tested by these instructors.

In the unlikely event that you are involve in a CPR situation in the hospital, you will be aware (hopefully you not the unaware one lor) that no one follows the BCLS protocol. The only reason why we have to get a FOUR letter word certification is because we have to get this three letter word accreditation. 

Dr Og very you yuan with BCLS / CPR. From very young age, I had attended CPR courses. I remember very small that time I went to Civil Defence and even had chance to play with fire extinguisher before being taught CPR. It was fun playing with fire before playing with mannequins! 

But hor, over the years, BCLS has become ridiculously kang kor (difficult)! 

Last time is just demo on the mannequin. The mannequin guai guai stay there don't make any noise one. Now the mannequin can excrete from the chest a strip to show your rhythm, timing and how deep you press his chest. Like I said, in the wards, where got follow all these timing rhythm and depth leh? It’s dare dare press and dare dare hyperventilate la. 

 Anyway, every human being body got the same meh. Train pushing how hard for what???!! Dr Og never touch many breast / chest before also know got soft got hard got big got small. Haha....

The BCLS also need very good stamina! If you fail one cycle because too fast too slow or too deep, you will have to repeat the whole cycle. Sibei chuaaaan ar! You have to keep blowing into an unappreciative mannequin with not the slightest response. Some of the mannequin lungs like sibei tough to expand. Some more seasoned ones like easier and looser. Most disgusting is the mouth taste of alcohol. Not whisky type of alcohol taste but the alcohol swab type of alcohol! A lot of the lao kok kok doctor all cannot tahan, halfway fall out liao. 

The most strange part about BCLS is that it is almost always conducted by nurses. Once, Dr Og even had a BCLS course instructed a non medical personnel who was a voluntary first aid provider. It is strange as most of these instructors have never performed CPR in their lives. Would you take driving lessons from someone who has never driven before? Most of the time, the nurses will try to help us pass. But some mean nurses will of course take the opportunity to take revenge on doctors. Also serve the doctors right if they never treat the nurses with respect in the wards. But sometimes if the doctor kennah his ex, then just too bad la. If you kiss someone you shouldn't have, now you just have to kiss the mannequin a few more times lor. It is all just karma!

source: http://www.quickmeme.com/Bad-Luck-Brian/page/3705/

Progress for Our Nation - Episode One

That day Dr Og go Geylang. Not the even number  Lorong ok, but the odd number one. Last time younger time, will go Geylang eat frog leg porridge, beef kway teow etc etc etc. Nowadays Geylang half is like Chinatown, half is kennah gentrified. Wah no longer got the same feel liao.

Anyway Dr Og along the way visit an old friend who is a GP. Last time, his business very good one. People who stay around the area liked to go see him. So in morning he busy give the ah girl and ah boy MCs. At night, he busy giving the call girls penicillin. 

Those were a long time ago. Over the years, his business seemed to have dwindled. Dr Og also never really ask him la. Sensitive mah. 

That day, there were no patients when I was at his clinic and he brought up the issue himself. 

“Og ar, I think I got to move to a new location.” He said. 

“Wah, you here very long liao leh. I thought you last time like it here coz lunch can go karaoke for some quick fun???! Too many hostesses ask you for free consult isit??” I teased him. 

(In case, his wife happens to be reading , this is of course entirely fictional. Lunch time he usually eating some nice hawker food around the area which explains his current size)

“No la, now people so lazy, no more open at noon la. Actually I called a few ex patients and you won’t believe why they don’t come back!”

“Why??!!” I was curious to know.

“They tell me that they can’t stand having to climb the stairs up to my clinic!” He lamented.

So it seems that in the past, people were quite used to and were happy to climb stairs. But after HDB upgraded and added lifts to every floor, Singaporean lost the will to climb! No one was willing to climb stairs these days and his clinic was in a walk up building on level three with no elevator...

Sighing away, he told me that ironically, a 80 old lady who had OA knees still visited him regularly. She herself stayed in a walk up apartment and despite the pain, she had to climb stairs to get home and did not mind doing so to see her GP. We both agreed that had she not been made to climb stairs, she may not even be walking anymore!

Dr Og don’t know how to console this old friend. Singapore has progress but in the process there can be some people who kennah some collateral damage. 

Just like him, I too miss the good old times. 

On the Other Side Part 1

John could feel his face tensing up and the creases between his eyebrows deepening.

The irritation was building up. 

Sure, he was late five minutes for his appointment but he had been waiting for an hour already. He wondered if the receptionist disliked him and pushed him to the back of the queue, but then again, the last patient (who went in 30 minutes ago) was still inside. Every time he approached the counter to ask how long more he had to wait, the receptionist gave him a dirty and judgemental look. That was if she even bothered, she was busy most of the time preparing medications and answering phone calls.

Finally his number was buzzed and he went into the consultation room. At least the doctor was apologetic. As John continued to complain about the long wait he noticed that the doctor had a look of resignation. Feeling bad, he stopped complaining and started telling the doctor about his discomfort.

__________________________________________________________________________

Every day is a rush.

Morning is a rush to bring the children to school. Screaming at the kids to hurry up. Negotiating the traffic. Dropping them off. 

David is never late for work. He would arrive at work early after dropping the children off  to avoid the morning jam. He also hated the judging eyes of the patients if he came into the clinic late. Today was the same. He arrived early, parked at his favorite spot and  went to the office to answer emails. 

5 minutes before the clinic started, he was already seated in the clinic room. As usual, the first patient did not turn up on time and came half an hour late. As usual, his clinic was double booked and unfortunately today, everyone seemed to be turning out. 

As he looked at his queue system on the computer, his anxiety was building up as there was now five people in the queue waiting. Also he had to pee... but he reckoned he would see the next patient before going to the loo. And then the next... and the next.

When he called John in, he knew all was not well. John looked angry and before he could even apologize, John started complaining on the long wait and how his time was wasted waiting so long. He went on and on about how David was a tardy doctor. 

In his mind, David was wondering if the PSA (Patient Service Associate) at the reception hated him. Or maybe the clinic manager was against him. Why is it that his clinic was not only full but always double booked???!!!!

David wanted to stop John from ranting on so that he could get back to the consultation. But he knew from experience that would just escalate things and he would probably just end up with a complaint to the hospital. He even swallowed his sigh. 

Thankfully, John stopped after a while and The rest of the consult was easy enough. 

————————————————————

The PSA, Jane, took a peek at Dr David as he walked into the clinic room. She noticed that he was always suspiciously early. She wondered in her mind if this Dr  David took a liking to her. After all, given her beauty, who wouldn’t. It must be, since doctors are always late for clinics. 

As the session progressed, Jane noticed that the patient John kept looking her way. After a while, he came to the counter to ask her how long it would take. And the he came and ask again! 

“Aiyah! Why these guys cannot just ask me for my number instead of so much pattern??!!”

She thought...

Non-Medically Medical Dilemmas

In medicine, there is always sibei alot of dilemmas one. Use this drug can save patient but hor she will get fat, come back scold you jailat jialat. So how ar? You tell her about side effect or not? You know girls they rather die than fat!

But today, Dr Og not talk about this type medical cheem cheem or ethical type of dilemmas. In a doctor's life there can sometimes be very peculiar and special types of dilemmas.

When Dr Og was a (fake) junior small lokun, I always amazed by some of the senior doctors the hair like helmet one. Some like Darth Vader pattern. Some like birds nest. But all got pattern. When we xiao yi sheng, usually not so hiao la because no time for anything. When your medical school girlfriend don't even have time or bother to pluck their armpit hair and their hair more chor (coarse) than yours, you also paiseh to gel your hair until so nice just to go to school, tio boh?

But later when you more senior then hor start to change, will comb hair nice nice and wear nice shirts and Burberrryyyy ties. Senior liao, must play the part and look the part lor. Or not, not pro(fessional) leh.

In Medicine decorum is very important and held to the highest standards!

But then because of this comes the dilemmas!

1) If you are on call at home and they tell you patient will soon be admitted liao from A and E...
- Do you stay awake and wait for the phone call (never ever go down hospital coz patients sometimes don't make it from the A and E. ((I mean they decide to go home and not get admitted la))), OR
- You catch a nap only to have to be awakened again!

2) If, in the same case, you get awakened up to attend to the non urgent case in the ward liao,
-Do you brush your teeth, take a bath, comb and gel your hair nice nice OR
- You go looking like you just woke up, with hair very luan and with bad breath?

3) If you are in the middle of talking to the patient in the ward or in a clinic session and you need to lao sai...
- Do you lun and finish the consult (but let out some farts coz those really cannot lun one) OR
- You tell patient "Sorry ar, tak boleh tahan, and run off to the toilet?"

4) When your junior on call with you proved herself to be incompetent (which is why you had to be awakened in the middle of the night)  and you gave her a piece of your mind (bad breath included)  cries in the toilet and refuse to come out post call...
- Do you say sorry and buy her chocolates OR
- Do you tell her she is not fit to be doctor and please go find another job.

5) If your Prof has a a lot to say and say and say and you are going to be late for your one year old's birthday celebration...
- Do you excuse yourself and risk offending him OR
- Do stealthily text your wife that you are going to be late and know that you are going to get it from her.

6) If the female medical student leaned too close to you (maybe coz you started combing you hair and now more yandao) and you feel something soft,
-Do you educate her about observing good personal space at work and risk social awkwardness OR
- Do you just keep quiet? (and also keep very very still and avoid any #metoo misunderstanding)

And last but most annoying,

7) If you have seen the patient in the ward and returned home at 2am.
Do you bath and wash your hair coz OCD? OR
Bath but don't wash hair coz the hair will be wet? OR
Don't bath and just jump into bed with germs and gel-on-hair and all???????

Hmmmmmm....

Nothing Compares... to Paper

As you get older, its sibei jialat. Things that you like and are familiar with become obsolete.

Pager long obsolete liao...

Blog obsolete liao (though got people scold me why I so long neber write blog...)

Facebook obsolete liao (now chow ginnahs only use Instagram... Dr Og also try to use but old people more long winded and my tremulous hands take picture is all blur blur one)

J-Pop, long long time obsolete liao,  even for K Pop, G Dragon and Big Bang people all forget. Only remember BTS!

Actually sometimes, LAW also can become obsolete!

In Medicine, it is obvious that there are people trying to make paper obsolete. Now, it seems like we are all going to enjoy paperless wonders in the form of National Digital Electronics Unhealth Recordings. Actually, Dr Og very support this move. Now I can know the entire history of my patients! They like or they don't like, I can see when they last kennah STDs, had piles, cannot pass urine or kennah TB. More info is always solid. Like these days before driving, you can see which road got jammed so you can decide should take KPE ECP AYE CTE or mebbe PIE CTE AYE BKE. It really doesn’t matter that information overload sometimes get me stunned like vegetables especially when all the roads are jammed up on Friday evenings. Sigh, if only the last patient came on time...

Of course Dr Og only exaggerating la. I’m sure any International system will be sibei secure one! There will be layers and layers of passwords required before you can see all these sensitive info. It will be like a peekaboo striptease type of thing lor. 给你一点，不给一点 hahaha. Only sometimes like playing strip poker, you get bored liao when the computer keeps winning, you still cannot see the 两点 and give up altogether.

Now obsolete - In the days of 286 CPU and CGA, it WAS literally 2 dots!

But hor to utilize all these IT stuff means we have to make paper obsolete and use some sort of  IT system. Those already using probably know the frustration of going through this warning and that confirmation before you can get to any real stuff.

Paper is still the best! It smells good! It feels good! Can practice my wonderful calligraphy and sign off signature big big like a big boss. While computer can crash, what can happen to paper? The worst is kennah coffee stain. (coffee very important for lokun to survive so don't you judge!)

Alas, paper will become obsolete like it or not. End up we spend more time trying to enter data than actually seeing (or talking to, or examining)  patients. But hor, given that all the data in the cloud now, maybe what doctors in the future need to palpate are not patients but data.

PS: Song tribute to paper. Nothing compares to you... we will miss you when the day comes...