5 Types of Medical Colleagues You Love to Hate

Dr Og tries to be positive but sometimes the serotonin receptors in the brain gets a little short circuited and you can't help but can't stand some of your fellow colleagues.

1. The Pseudo-Researcher

This dude was basically a chow mugger in school. When people were chasing skirts, he was chasing paper. So when he became a lokun and has gotten his name on as many degree as he can, he tries to get his names on journals. He does not care if he has any right to any database and will bulldoze his way to generating papers for journals even if he offended the rest of the world. Most of his papers would be case reports of no scientific value as he will not spend too much time doing good solid studies. After all he just gian to see his name on paper.

2. The Sneaky Bastard

Remember that JC classmate that told you he never finished studying for the exams and still topped the class? Remember the time he said he did really badly in the exams and ended up with an A when the results came out. That classmate of yours is probably a doctor now! Instead of being sneaky about his studies, he is now sneaky about his work. He doesn't share his notes for the MRC(Whatever) or M.Med Exams. He will borrow all of the senior's notes and tell you he lost it. He will chope exam leave before the posting even starts. He pretends to go for evening rounds but ends up assisting the HOD in the operation of the decade while you slough like hell in the ward. As he get more senior, he keeps news of research grants, training programmes, overseas conferences and any other opportunities to himself, even if he does not need them. He will suck up to the boss, get an A* for his TPM and tells you he got a B. He is sneaky because he is selfish. Just like back in JC days.

3. The Learned Colleague

Some say that learning is a lifelong process. But this people take it too literally (may be due to some frontal lobe lesions). They seem to be forever away for courses and training. However, they are never able to apply what they have learnt in real clinical practice in that few days you see them in the wards or the clinics. Your Boss may however be quite impressed with their insatiable quest for knowledge. Unbeknownst to him, these people will suck up the department training fund, make absolutely no contribution and bring their knowledge to their grave.

4. The BCC Char Bor

This is a bit of a sad case. Call it uglism but you cannot bin chow chow (face black black) if you are not bin swee swee (face pretty pretty). Typically, the BCC colleague is a female who just have to black face everyone. It may be that she steps on shit every morning or that she had some very traumatic experience during childhood. But whatever it is, she puts up that "you owe me money" kind of facies day in day out, to juniors, to peers and to seniors. The whole team cannot stand her but she does not seem to care. The only time she will smile at you is when she needs a really big favour from you. Sometimes, some idiot may defend her in the department and induce guilt in you by saying that if she is pretty, you would not be so upset with her. Do not feel guilty about it! This is real life, if you ain't pretty or handsome, then be nice. Prolonged PMS is not your birthright.

5. The Super Duper Bastard

Some people have it all! Its probably in the genes. Every decade or so, the stars align and the super duper bastard is spawned. He is the pseudo researcher who chases every paper qualification and writes stupid papers regardless of the scientific value (of which you sometimes have to review if he submits to the local journals). He is the sneaky bastard who uses rejected submissions to journal and sends them for overseas conferences as posters. He uses up all the department training fund to go for these overseas conferences and is thick skin enough to buay paiseh still go for lots of local courses. He may be a she and if back in the department for that few days annually from her long sponsored trips and courses,  she will show you her BCC!!