5 Steps to Becoming a Truly Patient-Centred Public Hospital

See Ma! Got carps and cigarette butts!

Hospital admins are always talking about missions and visions and senior management is always harping about patient centred care. But honestly, when you go to a hospital, do you feel like the hospital is meant for you the patient? When you want to get admitted, sure tell you not enough beds and kennah stuck in A and E. In fact, you may not even be able to find a car park space for your Mercedes in the first place! 

No scared. Dr Og reveals the 5 secret steps to becoming a truly patient-centred public hospital!!

Step One - Have a Lottery Store
Buying Toto and 4D are undoubtedly the favourite past times of Singaporeans. How can miss buying your lucky numbers just because you are admitted to hospital right? If you miss, the number sure come out one! 

Hospitals should have a lottery store right in 7-11 or Cheers like our HDB estates la. To make things easier, let the ah mahs (cleaners) in the ward help patients collect bets and earn some tips for themselves. In OT last minute before the anaesthesia sets in can also put last order. Its win-win for everyone!

Step Two - Have More Yellow Boxes
Ok, Dr Og knows this is controversial. Yah lah, smoking is no good. But isn't it cruel to make the ah pek with COPD (panting) crawl all the way out of the hospital boundary to smoke? Have a heart, condone off more yellow boxes in the hospital for them to smoke. 

But have our medical social workers station there to provide counselling and nag at all of them about smoking. This will also increase the work scope of our MSWs and stop them from complaining about "everyday only do financial assessments niah..."

Win-win again!

Step Three - Treat Your Doctors Better
Look. The simple fact is that patients go to a hospital to see doctors and to get treatments. You can have the most friendly counter staff around but all the patients really care about are the 15-minute consults where they get to interact with the doctors.

Du Lan (angry) Doctors (DLDs) are not going to be very nice to patients are they? DLDs will spend every waking moment in angst and in opposition to the hospital administration. All there are in their minds are how to siam the next admin meeting / hospital lecture on anything but patient care and how they will really like to trip the CEO as he walks out of his office before giving him a good piece of their mind. 

Yup, DLDs are not effective doctors. Is it really that difficult to make doctors happy? See my next post lah!

Wah Waterfall. Well done CEO!

Step Four - Kill the Water Features
I can understand why all CEOs want a pond or a fountain in their hospital. The official story is that the kois and sound of running water are soothing to our patients. In reality, the CEOs are probably comparing "is your pond bigger than my pond" during MOH meetings! Honestly, how many patients you ever see going to enjoy the water features? They are becoming places for people to throw rubbish and their unwanted neon tetras. Also poses a danger for drowning (don't look down on shallow waters ok)!!! Water features are useless, waste water and waste money. Get rid of them, make better use of the space (like 4D shops, yellow boxes or maybe extra hospital beds) and show that you are committed to patient care.

Otherwise, get rid of the CEO.

Step Five - Change Hospital Name Can??
Last time very easy. Hospital in Changi called Changi Hospital. Or named after Singapore. Or at the very least named after a great historical pioneer and philanthropist. Now suddenly named after people Dr Og has never heard before one. Must google then "ohhhh is the ancestor of some rich family." 

You really think our ah peks and ah mahs can remember all these names?? Now you ask them where they are when you do orientation, they all tell you they are in Tan Tock Seng coz thats the only hospital with a human name that they know.

So change the name back to like Yishun General, Jurong General before even the taxi drivers get confused. 

Especially when its impossible these days to drive to a hospital (even new ones) as there are no carpark one!!!!