Misfire

Misfiring - always the case of having the wrong head, in the wrong hole.

While we are still at the topic of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, the flipside of the joys of birth is the agony of abortions. Everyone of us have heard from our young and naïve friends on how their girlfriends got ‘accident’. We would automatically start thinking that their girlfriends were most probably hit by a truck (that would explain their looks) with or without the truck reversing to hit her one more time (for the more ugly ones).

Nope, they are not talking about vehicle-vs-pedestrian accidents. They are talking about how they accidentally forgot to use a condom, or her accidentally forgetting to take the pill or him accidentally misfiring inside her.

During our O&G rotation many of us have come across absurd stories on how the girlfriend got ‘accident’. One of the most brainless story I heard was that in the heat of passion, they couldn’t find a protective device. Having searched the kitchen high and low, they finally settled on cling wrap! Cling wrap of all things. They should know how easy those things break and tear. Well, as they say, the rest is history. Cling wraps are for preserving food. Not preventing pregnancy. Maybe the producers of cling wraps should put a warning label on the box.
“Cling wraps have not been proven to prevent pregnancy. Anyone thinking of using this product to prevent pregnancy should have their heads checked by the shrink before attempting to use it”

For goodness sake, unless the guy thinks that he wants to make his little brother slimmer, go buy a box of durex. (Heard they used cling wraps and chilli oil in a certain slimming centre. To me it is more like marinating.) Can’t afford durex, then go for the cheaper alternatives. Be warned, the cheaper brands may mimic the cling wrap and accidents still happen.

Boyfriend: Doc, how arh? She really pregnant arh?
Doc: Yups. She is in her 6th week of pregnancy.

Boyfriend: Die lar like that. (Perspiration starts coming out of his forehead). Her father sure bring parang and force me to marry his daughter. [Shotguns are not allowed in Singapore, thus the parang is the next best alternative]
Doc: ….

Boyfriend: Cannot lar like that, I am only 18 leh, and I going to enlist for NS next week leh.
Doc: Wait, you are going to enlist in NS? I think I better excuse you from firearms. You are too prone to misfire.(The last part of the dialogue is only a figment of my imagination and is in no way a doctor will ever reply in such a manner)

At this stage, the couple must make a decision. To go ahead with the pregnancy or to end it. It is a painful choice to make.

So when it is raining, always wear a bright coloured raincoat when crossing the road. We don't want accidents to happen.