The Dogs Always Get It Right......

...... even with cats.



During our Obstetrics and Gynaecology posting, we were required to assist in the operating theater. Before the specialist come to perform the caesarian section, we the small frys need to insert the urine catheter.

Scrub nurse passes urine catheter to Houseman.
Houseman uses left hand to part the labia, holds catheter in the right, then stares blankly.....

Scrub nurse: HO hurry up, the specialist here liao!
Houseman embarrassingly: Eh missy, can you tell me where the urethra (urine hole) is ah???

You see despite having passed our anatomy, urine catheters for female patients are usually inserted by nurses in the ward and we really have little experience in locating that little hole. Sometimes if you get lucky, the patient might pee on table and give it away. Other times you need the experienced scrub nurse to assist you because you really can't use your little finger to probe around.....

Now now, don't you look down on me. While i was discussing this difficulty with some friends over dinner one day, a female lawyer friend who was with us exclaimed "you mean there is a different passage for urine??!" She had thought all her life that it all came from the same hole.
So if a woman don't even know she has another outlet for urinating (lawyer: "you know, I've never bent down to look"), how can you expect a male to find it?

So it comes as no surprise that in our infertility clinic we have to go through every little detail. Below is an abridged conversation with a rather hao lian professional couple.

Husband: Doc, we have been trying for a baby for one year.

Doc: So how often do you do it?

Wife: We do it everyday. My horney got very good stamina.

Doc: I see I see..... so can you tell me how you do it?

Husband ponders: Lets see, I prefer to do it standing.... doggy also can....

Doc: No... No.... (Doc whips out a picture of the pelvis). Can you show me where you place your penis (trying to be sensitive)

Husband looking rather insulted: Oh come on.....
And he points to the anus.

There are also those who think that they are Martians and can reproduce through telepathy. ("I thought we just have to sleep together??!!") Before you laugh at these couples, I have to tell you I don't really think they are to be blamed. Rather it is this lack of sex education in school and our ban of pornography. (or they've been getting those lousy ones with mosiacs hahaha)