Many many pain (MMP)

Pain is a strange phenomenon. But for doctors, it is probably one of the most common chief complaint that all of us have to deal with.

To the neurologist, "Lokun tao tia! (Doctor headache)"
To the cardiologist, "Lokun xim gua tao tia! (Doctor chest pain)"
To the urologist, the patient will say "Lokun lumpar tia! (Doctor testicle pain)"
To the colorectal surgeon, "Lokun, kar cheng tia! (Doctor ass pain)"

And when a patient presents with all of the above and complains of "long zhong tia (Doctor, everywhere pain)", he is given a one way ticket to a psychiatrist.

Now in the assessment of pain, we were taught that pain has 6 characteristics:

1) Site - Where is the pain? Or the maximal site of the pain.

2) Onset - When did the pain start, and was it sudden or gradual? Include also whether if it is progressive or regressive.

3) Character - What is the pain like? An ache? Stabbing?

4) Radiation - Does the pain radiate anywhere? (See also Radiation.)

5) Associations - Any other signs or symptoms associated with the pain?

6) Time course - Does the pain follow any pattern?

7) Exacerbating/Relieving factors - Does anything change the pain?

8) Severity - How bad is the pain?

(Dr Og shamelessly copy from wiki hahaha, ..... WTF how come got 8! No wonder I almost fail medicine!)

So if you want to report pain properly to a doctor, don't just say, "He is a pain in the ass!" Because this basically describes the site niah!

It should be, "He is a extreme (severity) throbbing (character), persistent (time course) pain in the ass (site) since the day he was born (onset). Sometimes he pains my heart (radiation) and did I mention how much he makes me wanna puke (association)!!!??? Its better if he keeps his bloody mouth shut (Relieving factor)."

(the pain is) to be continued....