A Doc's Life is a underground Medical Blog about some poor Singapore doctors. They are sibei sian and very buay song. Best practices not observed!
(Warning: Grammar is non existent in this blog. Those obsessively compulsive about good English please go no further and book an appointment to see your psychiatrist in Singapore.)

Sunday, April 12, 2015

Tips on How to Make Your Doctor Like You

So you really want your doctor to like you ar? If not you wouldn't have ended up in this page from Google search right? Don't be shy, you are just one of the many Lokun Worshippers out there. (For stalkers out there, to read the special how to make your doctor LOVE you post, press Alt F4 now!)

And what if you don't like to lick like a doctor? Yes, you will be treated equally whether your doctor like you or not... but you will be treated more equally if your doctor does. After all, as much as you doctor lovers refuse to believe it, we are humans after all.

So if you will like a gentle per rectal examination (with a prostate massage extra service), here are some tips on how to make your doctor really like you:

1. Punctuality

Yes, sometimes you need to wait a bit when you are on time. But you have to know, doctors are egomaniacs and you will damage their egos if you make them wait for you instead. So if you guai guai come early, your doctor will really appreciate la. Even if you need to wait long long, so what? It is all worth it because your doctor will like you! If he ever even offer a hint of apology for making you wait, quickly counter apologize for causing him to apologize. In this way, both of you can quickly get over the "why you always late" and "why need to wait so long" issues and focus on the medical problem at hand.

2. Gifts

Dr Og has received all sorts of weird stuff from patients, including stuff toys, belts (yes belts!) and some suspiciously used objects. Most patients would present normal gifts like fruit hampers or bring us some drinks and food.

Honestly, no need la. 

No Ang Baos please! Singapore doctors cannot be bribed. Do not even try giving us anything more than $10 in value as your doctor then has to waste time to declare this to Human Resource. Most of the time gifts that are of substantial value will be sold off and proceeds donated to hospital endowment funds.

The best stuff Dr Og has received are thank you notes or cards to say tell us that they are better. A simple thank you never fails to melt your doctor's heart, boost his morale and improve your likability!

3. Talk

The patients that Dr Og definitely cannot tahan are those who refuse to talk.

Dr Og: "Aunty, simi tai chee" (Madam, what ails you?)
Aunty sulks: "......"

Dr Og: "Aunty, li si tolo boh ho sei" (Madam, where do you feel unwell?)
Aunty continues to sulk: "......"

Dr Og: "Wah lau, li mai kong wei, mai liao si kang, er bai ka lai la, lua kau lang jin zuay la" (Perhaps you will like to think about what your problem is and come in later?)
Aunty finally squeezes a line: "Wa simi tai chee, li si lokun kuah buay chut meh? Li si simi lokun?" (I got what problem you cannot see with your eyes is it!)

 It is absolutely ok to write down in point form, what you will like to communicate with your doctor. In fact this is an efficient way to let your doctor know your problems. Avoid coming into the consult with pages and pages of prose as your doctor immediately knows you are a kan cheong spider and your likability drops to rock bottom.

To be continued...


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  2. Anonymous8:39 PM

    Thanks lokun for coming back to blogging, really enjoy your entertaining posts :)

  3. Anonymous1:05 AM

    HAHAHAHHAHH like 3rd the most! thanks for your translation !!