龍門客棧 Kopi Tiam

When I woke up yesterday morning, I had this feeling that it was going to be a perfect day. Actually I didn't exactly wake up, I was lying in my bed having been up the whole night. My newborn baby gave me a hard time the night before. (Yes! I am the married Dr Og! Hence also the poorer one.....)Since my mother was finally awake, we dumped handed the little one over to her and headed for my favourite kopi tiam for my regular cup of kopi peng.

It was only 7am and most lazy Singaporeans were still sound asleep on this Deepavali morning. The kopi tiam was empty. We took the most convenient seats right in front of the mee pok store. It was the only store opened other than the drink store. Needless to say, we ordered mee pok.

We were carrying on with our mundane (and hence perfect) routine when a man appeared. He was a 50s/Ch/M, tanned and in polo-tees and shorts. Without saying a word, he sat down on our table, next to me, and shouted for a bowl of mee kia tah. I looked around, the rest of the coffeeshop was empty. And he must sit at our table. Asshole!

Before our mee pok was ready, an aunty 40s/Ch/F, came into the coffeeshop with presumably her son, a 15/Ch/M. The aunty in pajamas spoke in English and asked her son to sit at the table in front of the mee pok store while she go order drinks. The duo subsequently sat down, without asking, next to the tanned man who was next to me and my wife.

The table was getting crowded and the atmosphere getting tensed. No one was talking. My wife nudged me to indicate that she wanted to move to another table. I nudged her back. No one was going to spoil my perfect morning! I was staying PUT.

Then the man took out a box from him shorts. He slammed it on the table. It was a packet of cigarettes with a picture of a mouth with rotten teeth uncannily similar to his. I wondered if he was the model for the picture, hmmmm..... He picked up the packet of cigarettes, tossed it slightly and a stick stuck out of the box, beckoning. In one swift motion, he picked the cigarette out of the box with his mouth and lighted it with one of those green coloured 50 cents lighter.

The man has drawn first blood.

I stared at the man with contempt.

He turned away to exhale but the fan blew the smoke back towards the table into my face.

I fanned the smoke away in disgust.

The aunty stared at the man as well and the boy was on cue and let out a few coughs in protest.

The man stared back at me. Our eyes met. (Again this one not my patient. hahaha)

My wife was getting worried. Staring incidents do become fatal. After a while of eye sparing (and staring). The man put out his cigarette. My staring worked!(but my wife insisted later it was because the cigarette finished liao.... Women!) The man gobbled down his mee kia and kopi. He left but not before staring at me one last time. This time I pretended to look away because I realized he was much bigger size than me when he stood up. (Not say I scared lah, but my wife with me can?)

After he left, the mother and child became quite chatty. The mother was reminding his son not to take any cold drinks as he was coughing just now. Then she was teaching her son how to eat properly. "Must chew your food!" "Stop playing with your food." And how he must go home and study after breakfast as 'O' Levels was round the corner.

And in the ultimate show of motherly love, she took out a dental floss and passed it to her son. The boy looked embarrassed and let out a little whine. "What? you want me to do it for you isit?" The mother threatened and started twisting her own dental floss around her two index fingers.

Lo and behold, mother and child were showing off their perfect dentition in front of us. The incisors, the premolars, the molars and even the wisdom too.... eh actually both also din have wisdom teeth...... I don't know what the dentist say to their patients, but whatever they're saying is very effective! (Or dental fees these days are really so ex?)

Seriously, I lost my appetite. Luckily, I already finished my bowl of mee pok.

So much for my perfect morning......

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My point? Singaporeans are basically a rude bunch. Ok, we are not as bad as some other Asian countries..... but we are nowhere near being polite and gracious. Which brings me to my real point. The service industry sucks becoz the people providing the lousy services are also the same rude customers recieving it. It amuses me to see our media and press trying so hard to segregate the two.