Toilet Games Part 3

Eventually, as a doctor working in the public sector, you become senior, a.k.a. lau kok kok  and lor sor, and you will be expected to do admin work. Already, no time to even go toilet liao, still got to do admin work!!!??? I also wondered why they hire health administrators if lokuns still have to do all these non clinical work.

If you think admin work is about filling this form and that form niah, then you are wrong. Admin work can range from simple (but endlessly tedious) things like claiming transport to sitting through (endlessly endless) meetings for another IT project, another CEO's bright idea or another dinner and dance committee. 

Believe it or not, Dr Og was once the team lead for an improvement project for clinic renovation. As a doctor I of course focused on how to improve patient safety and workflow, but it slowly became quite clear that the administrators had other agendas on their mind!

It seems the senior management had decreed that special attention be given to a certain area in the clinic. 

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The Toilet.

Before you think they so good, want to reno the toilets nice nice for staff, let me clarify that it was quickly decided that staff will have those single cubicle UNISEX toilets. (more on unisex toilets next time!) Their concern was really the public toilets for patients. And if you think they are so concerned about the welfare or comfort of patients, think again! 

The toilet is indeed an important and strategic area for a public outpatient clinic. Based on many previous surveys done, administrators have identified that how good the toilets are in the clinic is directly related to how well the clinic fares in satisfaction surveys. Yes it is proven once again that patients do not go clinics to see doctor but actually to use the jamban!

So the whole improvement project was spent discussing where the toilet should be situated and finding the balance between having enough privacy in the toilet versus ensuring that a person who collapses in the toilet would be noticed. You mean patients come clinic and spend most of the time in the toilet meh? Is that the reason why I can never find them when I buzz their queue number?? And yes, must have queue numbers displayed conspicuously so that if they see their number flash, they can quickly get to their clinic room (without flashing, wiping backside and washing hands...) for their appointment.

At the end of the day, one joker actually recommended that we take a gemba walk (walk the ground) in the toilet. Honestly, I didn't know how that was NOT going to freak our patients out. Group of doctors and administrators entering the toilet to look at the process flow for their defecating ways. As the team lead and only rational member of the project, I vetoed this of course.

Plus, Dr Og already got no time for toilet breaks and now you want me go toilet but NOT to pang jio!!???!???! You must be kidding...

To celebrate the screening of Hunger Games, Catching Fire, Dr Og change all the toilet series posts to Toilet Games. See below for more instalments of the Toilet GameS!

Toilet Games Part 1

Toilet Games Part 2

Thor-rettes Syndrome

Found this on the web. Haha

Non medical dudes, please don't ask me to translate. Kum Sia!

If THOR Works in a Hospital...

Over the weekend Dr Og managed to catch Thor in the cinema. Rare occasion for me coz it takes all the stars to align for me to able to go to a movie.

[MAJOR SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

Incidentally, in this episode of Thor, the nine realms align. That is really besides the point coz the movie is about a goondu bad guy (as usual) trying to destroy the world and THOR (as usual) saves the world. Yah, usual stuff. In between all that, there are lots of flying, fighting and some romance. 

[SPOILER ALERT ENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

Well, this doctor enjoyed this movie. Honestly, as a lokun, you just wanna chill and watch something brainless. No gore and blood (lots of those in the OT), no family drama (lots of those in the general ward), no political drama mama (lots of those in the pantry). 

But I was just thinking, Superman saves the world, the Avengers saved the world, Thor saves the world... surely these superheroes must all have messiah complex! Surely, they belong in a hospital right??!!!

But what can Thor do if he works in a hospital? His super power is basically swinging that hammer of his in his enemy's face. Now, how many times can he do that to the CEO, tio bo? 

I think Thor can be a orthopod (orthopaedic surgeon). Orthopods are probably the only doctors to wield a hammer in their practice. The way Thor whacks through enemies with his hammer is really without any finesse and very chor lor (coarse). No way he can do microsurgery lor. But hammer and chip bones like our ortho friend, I think he still can. His strength will help too! Try assisting in an ortho surgery and holding up the leg of a 0.1 ton uncle! 5 minutes start sweating and 10 minutes back pain starts! With Thor, there will be no such problem! He can relac jac hold the leg and still flirt with the pretty OT nurse (hopes he brings along Natalie Portman ahahaha).

Thor will probably not do well as a physician or in internal medicine where more brain juice is needed. I mean look at how he kennah bluff by Loki time and again. Sibei kum gong.......

Whatever discipline Thor goes to in the hospital, I'm sure all the female doctors will go swarming to join that speciality, given his good looks. So, which department do you want Thor to be in? 

Thor is screening in cinemas now. Wah Natalie Portman chio le!

Many many pain (MMP)

Pain is a strange phenomenon. But for doctors, it is probably one of the most common chief complaint that all of us have to deal with.

To the neurologist, "Lokun tao tia! (Doctor headache)"
To the cardiologist, "Lokun xim gua tao tia! (Doctor chest pain)"
To the urologist, the patient will say "Lokun lumpar tia! (Doctor testicle pain)"
To the colorectal surgeon, "Lokun, kar cheng tia! (Doctor ass pain)"

And when a patient presents with all of the above and complains of "long zhong tia (Doctor, everywhere pain)", he is given a one way ticket to a psychiatrist.

Now in the assessment of pain, we were taught that pain has 6 characteristics:

1) Site - Where is the pain? Or the maximal site of the pain.

2) Onset - When did the pain start, and was it sudden or gradual? Include also whether if it is progressive or regressive.

3) Character - What is the pain like? An ache? Stabbing?

4) Radiation - Does the pain radiate anywhere? (See also Radiation.)

5) Associations - Any other signs or symptoms associated with the pain?

6) Time course - Does the pain follow any pattern?

7) Exacerbating/Relieving factors - Does anything change the pain?

8) Severity - How bad is the pain?

(Dr Og shamelessly copy from wiki hahaha, ..... WTF how come got 8! No wonder I almost fail medicine!)

So if you want to report pain properly to a doctor, don't just say, "He is a pain in the ass!" Because this basically describes the site niah!

It should be, "He is a extreme (severity) throbbing (character), persistent (time course) pain in the ass (site) since the day he was born (onset). Sometimes he pains my heart (radiation) and did I mention how much he makes me wanna puke (association)!!!??? Its better if he keeps his bloody mouth shut (Relieving factor)."

(the pain is) to be continued....

Happy Deepavali!

To all my Hindu friends and colleagues,

HAPPY DEEPAVALI!