Bird Park

Via http://funny-pictures-blog.com/

In an outpatient clinic far far away, a tutorial was taking place...

Senior Doctor: This elderly gentleman said that he cannot stand. Uncle, can stand in the morning?

Ah Pek: Morning also cannot la.

Senior Doctor to Blur F**k Medical Student (BMFS): Please proceed with the examination.

BFMS starts examining Ah Pek's legs much to his displeasure.

Senior Doctor to BMFS: What are you doing???

BFMS panics: Er.... I can't find anything wrong with his legs, the strength and reflexes are intact... and he walked in just now.....

Senior Doctor: This is a urologist clinic you bodoh!

Tags: Fun, Urology, Medical Student

Dr Og's My Plate

Something made Dr Og sibei buay song recently. I had not long ago taken much effort to teach and help my daughter memorize this:

Then the Bee Kok president, Obama's wife, Michelle intro a new version!

Wah lau, you all can decide or not! Wait I get scolded by my bao bei daughter leh... ask her learn wrong things!

Also hor, Asians alot cannot lim guni la! Dairy products eat liao lao sai... I as a prooo-fessssioner suggest this one better:

1. Wine is now officially part of Asian cuisine with the mainland Chinese buying all the La-fite and La-tour! Now the ang mohs cannot afford their wine liao so of course you don't see it included in the western version! Wine is also good for health loh and one glass a day decreases your cardiac risk.

2. If you don't like La-tour and prefer to La-Kopi, drink kopi orh kosong! Unlike dairy, it has zero calories. Don't drink kopi how to survive the rest of the day??? Especially hang over from last night's wine!

3. Honestly, I don't really know what is Grain in the original version la. Dr Og only knows that here in Singapore, we eat RICE. Ok la, roti prata also can.

4. Bak You is also an essential part of our healthy diet. If no Lard, you will have no Bak Chor Mee, Char Kway Teow and every other (tasty) dish you can think of! Those who claim that Bak You is Bad For You, show me the evidence! Show me a single evidence based literature that Bak You is bad!

5. Starch and MSG is essential for making those thick thick broth that we all like so much. Especially shark's fin soup! Don't believe the Ang Moh when they tell you sharks are endangered la. The last I check, they are still attacking humans in Bondi Beach Australia leh.

AND since people so gian to know what is on My Plate in the hospital, this is it loh:

We have lots of peanuts. Quite good la, a whole plate of it! You are also provided free water cooler H2O for lubrication while they shove it down your throat. If not enough, can find KY jelly anywhere in the wards!

Tags: Fun, My Plate, Diet

10 reasons why your Dr so BCC (Bin Chow Chow)

Ever kennah black face by your doctor? Well, being a loctor is a very very pek chek job. Ten reasons why your doc so buay song during a consult....

1) He hasn't had lunch becoz patients like you tend to oversleep and all come just before lunch time.

2) He hasn't had lunch and becoz u decided to have your hair done first ( since you were late anyway) he is not gonna make it home to watch 爱 on Channel 8.

3) You were already late for your appointment but when you were called you went to toilet pang sai.

4) Even though you were in the midst of kegg sai (bowel output), you got your maid to enter the consult room so that the lokun cannot see the next patient.

5) You remarked that he looked too young (thereby insinuating he is not experienced enough) and caused serious ego injury.
Or you remarked that he looked very old (thereby insinuating that his self injected botox treatment failed) and caused serious existential anxiety.

6) You ask for MC but did not even bother to read wiki to at least get some symptoms correct.

7) You asked for sleeping pills, cough syrup, pain killers (when you have no insomnia, cough or pain) becoz your source in Geylang in hiding.

But of course it's not always YOUR fault!

8) His wife found out about the drug rep / clinic assistant / nurse.

9) His new Porsche kennah drowned in the flash flood.

10) He is just born that way with a buay song facies... Dun be so sensitive la!

When the Fat Lady Sings

Recently (ex) MM and (ex) SM stepped down. This triggered me into thinking about retirement. Many patients I have seen do not seem to understand that retirement needs to be planned and we need to learn how to slow down and relac lah.

Doc: Uncle you got any hobbies?
Ah Pek: Simi Orhbeee???
Doc: no, no uncle, not guiness stout. What you do when you are free?
Ah Pek: Feee? I work work work then go home jiat bah, koon la.
Doc: Er, what do you like to do when you are not working huh? Things you like.
Ah Pek: Don't haff.
Doc: You listen to music?
Ah Pek: No
Doc: Watch TV
Ah Pek: No, I work so hard everyday to support children, family. Where got time?

I used to think that these Ah Peks were just having me on. I imagined that they were having lots of fun in Desker Road on weekends distributing their CPF payouts. But having spoken to many over the course of years (plus they never asked me for viagra), I realised that the generations born prior to 1960s had it ingrained in them that the only route to success was hard work. They sloughed their life away for their family and did nothing for themselves.

The problem being when they retire, they suddenly find themselves with no work to do, no hobbies and having absolutely no idea how to pass the day. The children are busy with work and their spouses may find them to be a nuisance at home since they are not used to having them around. They find themselves irrelevant and becoming a relic more than anything else. The loss of role can lead to much stress and many psychological woes.

So what should Dr Og do when he retires from blogging (medicine being only a delusion of mine)? I was thinking of politics but gave up the thought as I don't fancy sweating in a blue shirt shouting to a crowd of 30,000 in a stadium. And honestly, you will never see me in a red shirt coz the only time I'll wear one, if I ever do, is during Chinese New Year.

Indeed sibei cham if you cannot find something sane to do!

Next up, Dr Og's (patented) Preparation for Retirement Programme ... Akan Datang

Tags: Retirement, Medicine, Singapore

Singapore M.D.: A Lifetime to Master

Singapore M.D.: A Lifetime to Master