Don't Look Back in Anger

After working for a few years, some of us developed this “switch” inside us that we can switch on and off. Like what was mentioned in some of the earlier posts, it is probably a defense mechanism to protect ourselves from being too emotionally affected. Please do not get me wrong. We do not want to be devoid of emotions. The day I no longer feel anything will be the day I decide to hang up the stethoscope and do something else. Maybe be a lawyer or something. =P

An incident happened some time back that “jammed” the switch inside me. I came across this Primary School girl who was adopted since she was a baby from a foreign land. (We shall call her Sally) The adopted parents thought that they could not have their own child. They loved Sally. For about a year or so.

A year after the adoption, the adopted mother became pregnant. The adopted grandparents were overjoyed. They sincerely felt that Sally brought luck and good fortune to the family. However, the mother hated Sally. At that time, it was only a small seed. But it would continue to grow. She had a couple more children during the next few years and the hatred for Sally intensified. She forbade the rest of the family from caring for Sally.

The mother tried to return Sally to the country she came from. She was told by the relevant authorities that this could not be done. She tried a few more times over the years and soon, the children grew up.

Sally was not allowed to go to KFC, BK or MacDonald’s like her adopted siblings. The family would bring home leftovers for her. Take note that it is leftovers, and not a new set of Happy Meal with some toy inside that they decided to “takeaway” for Sally back home.

When the family went to the Zoo, the Monkey Park etc., Sally was made to stay at home. Sometimes with the maid, and sometimes by herself.

Sally was not supposed to be seen or heard when the parents come home from work. She was to stay inside her room and stayed quiet. If she was sighted or a noise/voice was heard from her, she would be scolded or punished.

Sally slept alone. She can’t even remember from what age she did that. At around 9 p.m., she had to switch off her lights. She told me she could sometimes hear the mother telling bedtime stories to her adopted siblings in the room down the corridor.

Sally loved reading. Because she was not allowed to buy her favourite story books, she ended up reading magazines, her siblings’ books that were just too simple for her, and apparently, she read the manuals lying around at home. In theory, she would know how to operate the air-con and some kitchen appliances quite well.

I cannot really describe what I felt when I heard the above. I thought nothing can really surprise me anymore. Certainly if I was watching some local television show or some Taiwanese serials, then I would not be surprised. This happened in real life. I was disturbed, angry and sad at the same time. And I am still feeling this way whenever I think about it.

The last time I spoke to Sally, she smiled and told me that she still misses her adopted parents and believes she will move back with them soon. I forced myself to smile back. She still does not know that the adopted family was only too glad to get rid of her.

I know that I am not allowed to think this way, but one word popped into my mind.

Retribution. Just like in those serials.

P.S. "Sally" is staying with a friend's friend now. She is no longer neglected. In fact, her life now is opposite of what it was previously. She's still adjusting though to the love and concern.