Just one more time

I saw a man at 12 midnight. He is a drug addict, injecting all kinds of concoction into his veins. He used to use heroin, and now he just uses some homemade cocktail of Subutex, Dormicum etc. He came into hospital because of pain in his leg. He was not able to walk anymore because of this pain. His other leg… has already become numb. His two arms… you can see that the skin was grey and “mottled”. The needle marks were obvious.

I spoke to him. He told me about his life. He told me that he had thought about ending it. He told me about how his parents were still supportive, despite his addiction. He told me how much he wanted to quit. He related how his wife left him. He described his despair when he was unable to find a job. He complained about the horrible pain in his legs. And he cried. And he cried.

That night, he left the hospital. Did he return home to see his parents? Did he want to look for his wife? Did he want to end his life?

I think he just needed to satisfy that craving. Just one more time. Just like the last time.