Mind Your Langauge

I like to use dialects to communicate with non-English speaking patients or family members. Not only can they understand better, it helps to build rapport and to put them at ease. Peharps some feel they have to be at the same level as doctors and will insist on speaking English regardless.

When I was just a student, I attended a clinic ran by a MO. A Chinese national had brought her daughter for thyroid function test and the MO was trying to explain the results.

PRC Man: Speak Engrish plreaseee.
MO: Oh great, you speak English! That make things alot easier. You see Mister Chen, your daughter's thyroxine level is abnormal and we need to proceed for further testing. Do you know what thyroxine is?
PRC Man: Tyrrooozine?? Can you lepeat???
MO: Thyroxine, the hormone from the thyroid gland at your neck. You understand?
PRC Man: Neeck?

At this point it was obvious that the man did not had an adequate command of English to understand the problem at hand. The MO proceeded to explain in Mandarin, but the man insisted,

Man: Speakk, Engrish prease!

In a way, we could understand where he was coming from. In a foreign land, he prolly felt slighted if we spoke to him in Mandarin. Nonetheless, the issue at hand is his daughter's abnormal results and not his ego!

If you think this only happens to foreigners, you think wrong! One day, I was given the unenviable (sai kang) task of telling family members that an old gentleman was critically ill and prolly not make it much longer. His family was not particularly concerned actually and only his daughter in law was around. She was a lao lian with tatooed eyebrow and a big gaudy handbag...... She was on her handphone speaking loudly in Hokkien when I approached her.

Lao Lian: Ok lah ok lah, lokun lai liao, dang kah kong. (she puts down her phone)
Me the lokun: Aunty ah, kong hokkien or jiang hua yu? (I asked if she spoke Hokkien or Mandarin)
Lao Lian: I speak En-ger-leash.
Me: Ok.... I am really sorry to say that given your father in law's age and condition previously, it is unlikely that he will survive this round of infection......
Lao Lian: Er, how his flame??
Me: Flame??? You mean frame? His frame is like I said, before this admission already very bad. So now with this severe infection, it is unlikely that he will make it. You will have to be prepared.
But the Lao Lian went on: His flame, his flame.
Me desparately simplifying my English to help her understand this impt message: Yah, his frame no good, will not make it.
Lao Lian pointing to the throat and chest: He kot many flame! A lot!
Me: You mean phlegm??????

I cannot remember how I finally got the message across (maybe i didn't) but it was bizarre how she was so preoccupied with "the flame" when the poor man was dying. Maybe she just wanted to know whether she should bring the family heirloom spittoon to the ward......