A Doc's Life is a underground Medical Blog about some poor Singapore doctors. They are sibei sian and very buay song. Best practices not observed!
(Warning: Grammar is non existent in this blog. Those obsessively compulsive about good English please go no further and book an appointment to see your psychiatrist in Singapore.)

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Holy Smoking!

"limpek happy, what can you do about it?"

Smoking is a big health issue. In fact, it costs our small beautiful island millions of peanuts (our national currency) to treat the many ills that befall smokers. At a time when doctors were better respected, this was what we did:

Ah Pek: Lokun, cannot breath properly, sibei jialat..... (coughs)
Loctor: See lah, you smoke so much now your lungs spoil liao loh. Whats that in your pocket? Wah lau, cigarettes!!! you still smoking??? I confiscate first.
Ah Pek: Cannot lah lokun...... I so old already, don't smoke will die!
Loctor: Rubbish, you discharge then give yo back.
Ah Pek: .....

Trust me, the ah pek didn't die from NOT smoking. But tactics like these don't work nowadays when even mah laus have their rights and complain letters come flying in faster than the defunct Concord planes.

There are also those who just cannot come clean with their addiction to hun kee.Loctor: Uncle, looks like you have lung problem. Got smoke or not?
Ah Pek: Aiyah, I quit already lah. Cannot be the cigarettes.
Loctor: Isit? When you quit leh?
Ah Pek: Yesterday loh. But actually not successful. I just had one this morning. Hehe....

Sigh. Incorrigible.

And as much as the medical faternity pretends otherwise, many loctors are also smokers. Most will tell you that they are in various stages of quitting.
"Og, this is my last one!"
"Og, this is really my last one!"
"Og, this time believe me, my very very last one!"
I can really empathise with them as the post two posts ago was my "last post" but the addiction obviously got the better of me....

Of course, smoking is discouraged within hospital compounds and often it becomes a covert operation for lokuns to go for a smoking break.

Og: Wei, where you disappear after lunch?
Loctor friend: Shhsshh! I go find yellow box lah.
Og: At the staircase isit? I always see a lot of cigarettes thrown there!
Loctor friend: No lah. There alot of patients.
Og: Why? You scared they borrow your expensive lighter isit?
Loctor: No lah, they keep asking me for cigarettes. Now very ex ok!
Og: So where you go huh?
Loctor friend: Secret, cannot tell you!

After all, what the monkeys see, the monkeys will do and we really don't want them to model after these bad examples!

Oh well, what the heck, time to go home after a hard day of work preaching to these smokers. Wah! How come got so much smoke coming from behind my car! Catch fire isit??? I ran to the carpark and saw my loctor friend with his kahkis squatting behind my car with cigarettes in their hands.

Og: Wah lau you all damn pathetic leh! I thought you say you going to quit??
Loctor friend: Basket Og, this my last one lah! You really got no sympathy ok!
Sigh. Incorrigible.

Dedicated to the Cigarette Smoking Man


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  2. Dr Oz bloke1:52 PM

    Dr Og,

    I know how to cure your blogging addiction.

    I get somebody to write complaint letter to Straits Times cc your boss cc SMC cc SMA cc MOH cc Monkey State General about your blog.

    Then you kena warning letter from SMC, SMA, MOH, your boss and Monkey State General.

    Confirm your addiction cure liao.

    Hee hee.

  3. smoker1:56 PM

    u sure monkey loctors smoke? can't imagine!

  4. twish2:14 PM

    dr oz bloke,

    yeah, then all the readers will descend upon you in oz for a good blanket party!

    Og, no worries.. blogging is a good addiction (yeah, i know that's oxymoronic) :P

  5. cigarette smoking man2:19 PM

    thanks for dedicating a post to me.


    you come back you die.

  6. sexy med student2:20 PM

    hannor, don't stop blogging ok? you gave us a real fright when you threatened to shut down this website.

  7. xiaoming4:26 PM

    we ?

    loctor split into a group of monkey liao ah

  8. Anonymous5:24 PM

    Found out by incident that you have been resuscitated.

    One way lokum hide their smoking odour is to drink lot of coffee to cover the smell, also an excuse for their yellow teeth.

  9. Monkeys are needed to deflect attention away. Must play the game man...

  10. future aussie med student6:54 PM

    yea...was pretty surprised when i found out that doctors i know actually smoke. but oh wells, it's their choice aint it? think i end up suffering more taking in the 2nd hand smoke...haha...

  11. hahaha....i noe my comment damn boh liao, but i cannot help myself. show appreciation....

  12. Anonymous11:16 PM

    Joke of the day.

    Nurse: Uncle, you need to stop smoking ah. If not you will be breathless and keep coming back to the hospital.

    Patient (who is still smoking a packet a day for more than 40 years): Aiyah, my lungs not good, change lung lor. Can change kidney, can change lung too.

    Nurse: ??!!

  13. This entry reminds me of my first date with a 1st yr medical student years ago. The entire evening, he asked if I smoked and expoused the benefits of not smoking. And I wasn't even a smoker.

  14. australian med student3:20 PM

    I am guilty of preaching to my smoker friends too. We med students and doctors just can't help it.

    But smoking is VERY bad for you. It can lead to carcinomas, high blood pressure, strokes and exacerbate respiratory diseases.

    Stop smoking today!