One night, a classmate from med school came to chat with me after admitting his patient to my ward. Actually Dr Og has the memory of a goldfish and had forgotten his name altogether. So I tried to quickly switch the topic to his girlfriend, another classmate whom I knew better.
Og: So how's A ah?
Classmate-dunno-name stared at me in awkward silence but managed to mumble something after a while: She should be alright..... I guess.....
I got the drift and quickly excused myself on the pretext of having to answer a page.
The next day, I went to kaypoh abit and found out that A had broken up with T (I also found out his name hahaha). The disturbing thing was that A is now going out with C another colleague of mine and T is going after J, also my classmate. T also happened to be the ex boyfriend of W who was in the same department as me. Confused? Go draw the relationship diagram yourself!!
Indeed, inbreeding (jargon for those involved in doctor-doctor-relationship) is prevalent in medicine. This results in the intricate and sometimes embarrasing relationships amongst doctors. Consider this imaginary scenerio:
Dr Tan's wife is pregnant with twins and will be undergoing lower segment caeserian section at a local hospital. In the OT,
Anaesthetist: Hi, Mrs Tan. I'm Dr W, your anaesthetist for today. Oh, I happen to also be your husband's ex girlfriend. Your surgeon today is Dr C, (lowers her volume), I actually dumped him last time for your husband. Don't worry, I don't hold a grudge against Dr Tan. I'm now happily married to Dr B. He is your baby's neonatologist!
Mrs Tan: Can you get my husband here, I will like to kill him!
So you see, relationships between doctors are often uncomfortable and bizarre with the rampant inbreeding. If Dr Og needed a circumcision, rest assured he will be crossing the causeway to our neighbouring country.
er....inbreeding is never healthy, socially and scientifically. i shall try my best to intro 'outsiders' to my single doc frens....
ReplyDeleteah.. ur wife pregeant ah?
ReplyDeleteanyway loctor no need to downgrade wat... downgrade still loctor inside :P
I guess it's like being in highschool, everyone went out with everyone else.
ReplyDeleteu mean u are not circumised?
ReplyDeletewould u recommend that then?
Gee come on. there are life forms outside the hospital man. even dating a nutritionist would be breaking out of the *cough* incestous ring of relationships right? :P
ReplyDelete~inex
i can understand how it is. very awkward. i guess it is because doctors and med students tend to mix around with each other a lot, creating more chances for relationships to develop.
ReplyDeletewhy are you still uncircumcised?
because its damn bloody painful, thats why!
ReplyDeleteMaybe as a result of this inbreeding there'll be lower genetic variance between individuals. Then every doctor will be like BL Og. I wonder if that'll be a good thing...
ReplyDeleteshit...mistake. The above statement will have to assume similar environment for the various lor kuns. Sorry.
ReplyDelete(but still, the possibility is kinda scary.)
hey..add some music to ur blog leh..hehe..to make it more interesting..
ReplyDeleteno!
ReplyDeletedun add music!
that's why i think better not date doctor if you are not healthcare professionals. they may easily get another relationship in the hospital
ReplyDeletei personally think its easier for a male dr to find a non-doctor wife than a female dr to find a non-dr husband. for male drs, they can find xiao niao yi ren nurses, dietitian, medical social workers etc etc..but female drs v cham, most men, on hearing tt a female is dr, most prob will not consider her one--no time to date, look after hse n children..not like in the shows where some hunky male nurse will stil chase the female doc, hahahaha..
ReplyDeletei see nowadays the trend is for doctor to marry doctor - maybe is financially compatiable
ReplyDeletewhat's the point of getting a Circumcision?..just painful...
ReplyDeleteanon @ 10pm, some female docs are also very ambitious. by the time they realise a family is important, might be too late.
ReplyDeleteIs having a family really that important? maybe it is, but i think dr blog is right, most female doctors, or female med students don't think getting married and having children is a priority.
ReplyDeletehaving children and marrying early will just be so inconvenient when you are trying to establish your career.
That maybe why my parents keep nagging about how i am not getting any younger and should think of getting married!
I wish everyone would just realise that not all girls want to start a family before they are 30.
Why is it ok for a guy to marry in his late 30s but not ok for a girl to do so? society is still stuck in their mindset that a girl's priority is to have children.
But I thought this inbreeding is a pretty good idea to develop Singapore into... a Hospital Hub!
ReplyDeleteImagine Dr A marries Dr B to give birth to C which grown up to be Dr C to marry Dr D and give birth to E...
Dear Aus med student,
ReplyDelete"Why is it ok for a guy to marry in his late 30s but not ok for a girl to do so? society is still stuck in their mindset that a girl's priority is to have children."
I have heard this dozens of times.
I usually reply with a question to the woman : "Do you plan to bear and conceive children in your lifetime?"
More often than not the answer is yes. Well if it is yes, then you should realised that there is a higher risk of developmental abnormalities in the baby as a woman ages.
Approx risk of trisomy 21 (Down's syndrome) in a 35 year old woman is 1 in 360. Every fifth year after 35, the denominator is divided by about 3. To figure the risk of ALL chromosomal abnormalities, multiply the trisomy risk by 2 (or divide the denominator by 2.
If you plan to marry in your late 30s and then have a child, you are being selfish by putting the child at a higher risk to chromosomal abnormalities. This is something we cannot change as it is part of nature.
Having children is a privellege that women have. It is a beautiful gift that men can never have.
I find that this women's equality business is done rather silly sometimes.
When women say why can't women be treated like men, that in itself is an open admission that they want to emulate men, and in itself is an open admission that becoming like a man is more desirable than being a woman, which in itself implies that men are better than women.
Why do that? Why can't women just be who they are? Acknowledge the differences between men an women and build on the strengths of being a woman.
aiya, society never equal. sometimes it is not woman don't want to get married but man not devoted enough to one woman. they are promiscuous in nature.
ReplyDeletebeware of autosomal recessive diseases!
ReplyDeletewhat's that. so cheem
ReplyDeletedr blog, since your site so popular, can invite some young and pretty/handsome doctors to join yourself and we can then matchmake lonely singles
ReplyDeletelol is the inbreeding thing really so rampant? so next time you treat a patient in the A&E and he says "hey u look like my wife's ex-bf and my daughter's new bf's ex-gf's father" haha :P
ReplyDeletebut then again the inbreeders are responsible for the next batch of goondu HOs cos i heard that the interviewers for med fac always check first for candidates with dr mums and dads haha :P maybe growing up with dr parents somehow confer a passive "dr-ship" on the child lol :)
I think the equality thing is stupid too. I did not mean that women should be treated like men. What i meant was that society should accept the fact that some women just do not want to get married and have children. These women should not be regarded as selfish or labelled as old spinsters.
ReplyDeleteActually, i feel that some women right activists have double standards. They want equal rights in education institution and the workplace. Yet, they demand special things for women. For example, men have to pay maintenance fees to their divorced wives. Or only guys have to do NS.
Many times, i feel that some women think they deserve special rights just because they are women. That should not be the case.
Just out of curiousity, what kind of ns do men expect women to do?
ReplyDeleteFrom the way I see it, ns is 2.5 yrs. PMS and periods is for the next 50 years. Every month. without fail.
We are expected to be daughter, mother, wife and worker all at the same time, and have to handle the fact that we have a ticking biological clock, not to mention TWO potential time bombs on our chest (plus having that monthly self breat examination shit) and ONE MORE below after we start having sex (and that once a year pap smear shit).
On top of all this crap we have to endure, we still have to look good and behave sexy so our man wont stray.
You tell me. Why should i not want to be a man?
~C
biological needs have nothing to do with NS. Breasts are not time bombs. Being a woman is good. Not every lady gets PMS. No one is forcing you to get a pap smear.
ReplyDeleteto Girl:
ReplyDeleteThose are not biological needs. Those are BIOLOGICAL FACTS which I view in the same way for guys because they cant escape NS either, just as we cannot escape the things we go through every month as a woman.
oh yeah and repeat all that you said to yourself when u are undergoing chemo for either cancers because
a) u don't do BSE
b) u didn't bother to get a pap smear
While you are right there is no obligation. But think about it. Don't do, find out very much later, die. Do it, find out now and you may live. Don't have much of a choice do we? Now tell me what man have to go through all that?
I havent met any woman yet who havent had pms. Get your facts straight. not all BUT MOST and many, AT LEAST ONCE in their life times. and are you telling me you enjoy bleeding and changing pads/tampons every month? you need help.
:)
~inex
maybe next time can invent a drug that can control period like a tap. when you want babies than turn on the tap. if not, no bleeding please.
ReplyDeletemaybe should do a survey on how many woman want to be a man next life. i guess it is 99.9%.
ReplyDeletemany woman will love you when you have that kind of drug.
ReplyDeleteGot period come, troublesome. No period come, then you worry got something wrong.
Being a woman is not without perks, but the ease of being man far outweights our perks.
and nowadays who can afford to be a tai tai? woman are expected to bring home the bacon too, sometimes a bigger bacon even.
I'm not contesting the fact there may exist some possibly unfair laws in favor of woman, I'm contesting the fact that some men thinks being woman is better then being a man, and I want to point out that nothing is further from that.
~inex
Agree with dr oz bloke's 11am comment. :)
ReplyDeleteC's 3.29pm comment:
I think it's a good idea to have the young women to go through NS.
IIRC, someone suggested that we have the gals trained in basic 1st aid care or smthg.
basic first aid? you might as well suggest that every woman become a nurse. or doctor to help during what? war?
ReplyDeleteAnd I do seem to recall some training in that in Home econs back in secondary sch.
Some girls I know cant even stomach the sight of their own blood. let alone look at others. Some guys too for that matter. Not every girl is cut out to be nurse k?
And then wat, learn how to cook? we already did that for in sec 1 and 2 home econs.
Some of us still burn and overcook the food. eat at own risk.
Your idea isn't entirely bad, but it takes a whole lot of planning.
In fact I felt it might actually be a better idea if woman knows some form of self defense or weapon handling. Cant imagine anyone getting sick over those.
But if ns were to be impose for woman, shouldn't the garment have done something already? 40 years to decide is a very long time.
~inex
It's sad but true that everybody is scared off by female drs except male drs, who are too busy chasing nurses anyway. Everyone assumes that females who enter this competitive field are career-minded and will put work before family, even if in reality they are willing to make many sacrifices to balance both.
ReplyDeleteReply to female med student,
ReplyDeleteU forgot the Dentists!
At least i know 1 dentist who's not "intimidated". He married his uni sweetheart from KE7, who is now undergoing AST... and they have 3 lovely kids. This dentist is hoping that his wifey be v. successful in her career so that he can become a fulltime House husband, and part-time dentist. :P
many female doctors end up with engineering husbands nowadays. Maybe male doctors aren't attractive anymore.
ReplyDeleteLoctor ma si lang, dun like dat lah....
ReplyDeletegive chance can?
You forgot to mention pharmacists. I know of pharmacists who end up marrying doctors..
ReplyDeleteDear C,
ReplyDeleteJust to confirm, are you a woman? If you are, it is sad that you hate yourself because you are a woman.
I suppose our gender and life is not something that we "choose". As much as the "BIOLOGICAL FACTS" of menses, PMS, breast cancer risks etc which you say are inevitable with being a woman, being a woman itself is something that you cannot change, as much as me being a man is something I cannot change.
Some people may contest this statement due to the fact we have sex change operations etc. Well if that is the case, then the solution should be very simple isn't it? Then why the debates?
I think it is better to look at things positively and decide how one can live their life to the fullest as a man or a woman.
We all have to die eventually, if it isn't cancer, it might be heart disease. While breast cancer is the number one cancer in women, men also die from cancers too. And by no means is the overall mortality rate lower in men compared to women.
You have presented many problems with being a woman. Is there nothing positive at all? Are there any solutions?
Personally I acknowledge that my wife has got her fair share of duties as you said with all the burdens a woman has Biologically. Eg breast feeding, giving birth, carrying babies to term, mothering (there are differences from fathering, the children will tell you).
As such I do not pressure her to take home any bacon. Some women contrarily would consider this being discrimnatory and say that I am sexist and that I should expect her to take home some bacon etc.
We spilt the housework equally. Whatever I can do (not biologically limited) for the family and the relationship I will do.
We should come to terms with who we are and accept it, and move foward to seeing the positive in life.
Another about equality/inequality between men and women.
ReplyDeleteThere is no such thing as equality between the sexes.
Men and women are just different.
It is like saying green apples and pears should be equal. They taste similar, they have the same colour, but different shapes. They are different.
Just like men and women.
家有喜事 ah?
ReplyDeleteso long no blog?
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteDr Oz Bloke,
ReplyDeleteGiven all I have said, your jaw will probabaly drop if you see me, because I'm a)not a butch b)not a lesbian c)not someone working for AWARE though its worth considering d)I actually look and dress more feminine then some women out there. (makeup, dresses and all) d)neither am I a transexual. I'm 100% woman.
I want to clarify that I do not hate myself (nowhere have I said that), or my body, I accept the glitches of being a woman because I have no much better choice and that having lived all 24 yrs of my life as a woman, to suddenly change into a man is equivalent to turning my ordinary life upside down. Neither do I have the cash for it. Besides, I have learnt to live with the things I have to go through being a woman. And since I can live with it, why change it? I might as well make the best of it. And given my physical build, I'll make an ugly or effeminate male indeed.
"When women say why can't women be treated like men, that in itself is an open admission that they want to emulate men, and in itself is an open admission that becoming like a man is more desirable than being a woman, which in itself implies that men are better than women.
Men are not better then women, but you have to admit you live a more hassle free life then us. and i am just pointing out why so. That is the whole point of my arguement. And notice that its not a woman who started the whole gender thing in here, its a guy. Given all what woman have to go through alone JUST TO LOOK GOOD, I can already justify we are definitely not the weaker sex. But who doesn't want a more hassle free life? For example I would absolutely relished not having to shave my legs for the rest of my life, but that would also means I will never wear another pair of mini skirts without enduring snide remarks from women and men alike.
"Why do that? Why can't women just be who they are? Acknowledge the differences between men an women and build on the strengths of being a woman."
Women, I believe, thinks on a completely different wavelength from men. We may or may not want to acknowledge the difference between us, but not before we give those differences a shot. If men can do it, why not us? If man deserves this, why not us? If man can do this to us, why cant we do something else back to them? Afterall, we are not lacking of a brain, and other then minor physical differences, why should anything else hinder us in trying to achieve the same things that men can achieve?
Dr Oz, given your nick, I would assume that you do not live in singapore, but I was talking about bringing home the bacon in the local context. Anyone from Sg will tell you how hard it is for a family to live on a single income alone, unless the breadwinner is racking in some big bucks every month. So while its not a compulsary thing for females to also bring the bacon home, we are still obligated to do so, else given the high cost of living here, how to survive?
Yes there are perks to being a woman, but so little I could count them off one hand, probably. If I were given another chance to live my life over again, I would definitely chose to be a man.
Men and woman are different and true that we may never find a balance somewhere, but it doesn't mean that we stop trying. I think women have came a long way since the days where only men were allowed to be educated.
Hope this gives you a better understanding of woman, but its alright if you do not because a thinking human is a complex thing to understand in the first place, male or female. :)
~inex
c, you so upset you posted your comments twice?
ReplyDeleteI tend to disagree with seeing mensuration as NS. Though both are bloody long affairs. (we still got reservist ok!)
I am sure being a woman has many disadvantages and can be painful once a month. I assure you I share the pain everytime my wife goes boncus.
Dear C,
ReplyDeleteOh dear. Looks like I touched a raw nerve there.
Well I would agree with you about having more hassle being a woman. But sometimes I wonder why?
As you said regarding shaving your legs so as not to receive snide remarks from men AND WOMEN....
Well women are guilty of chiding their own gender isn't it?
When I read women's magazines, I realise that a lot of weird stuff goes on out there. Girls are taught from a young age about all these "hassles"
Menstruation is a definite hassle that I would rather not have.
Personally I have to shave facial hair daily which I find a hassle. My wife does not need to. She also does not need to shave her legs. In fact she does not shave at all!
Let's just love each other shall we :)
PS. Don't be so sure I do not live in Singapore. Have you thought of migrating?
no lar, dr oz bloke lives in singapore i think. c, why are you so unhappy with being a woman? you get used to it after so many years.
ReplyDeleteshaving legs is not that much of a hassle. if you think it is too much trouble, try waxing your legs. waxing needs to be done only about once a month. about your PMS woes, try taking panadol, it helps.
And i realised that women can be very hard on themselves. for example, women always think that they are fat and do all kinds of things to keep their weight down. the truth is, men like us just the way we are.
I used to think that men will notice little flaws like unshaven legs, tiny pimples or forgetting to use perfume. The truth is, men don't even bother about these details. They go for the whole package-your character, sense of humour and overall look.
If your boyfriend only likes you for your looks, dump him. He is too childish and shallow.
Dr. bl Og
ReplyDeleteeh no, something was wrong with your blogger comments so I end up posting twice. feel free to clear either one :).
Having periods are definitely not NS, But I couldn't help but think both are something we couldn't help no? In my own warped way, Guys suffer ns and reservist, women got their monthly crap to handle, plus miscellaneous modjo (understatement) we do to make ourselves look good and guys ogle at us, so we're even. So guys, before you start of complaining about how girl don't have to do ns, think about some of the other crap females have to deal with. Some girls I know (including myself) will be grateful to trade.
Dr. Oz bloke,
Woman and man (not all, I need to clarify) will put down others to feel good about themselves. Its happening even as we comment. But think of it, would you seriously prefer a woman with hairy legs over a hairless one? I find it hard to imagine. Your wife is lucky. Give those hairless legs a longing look from me. Or if you are simply a guy who likes woman with hairy legs, I wished I had married you instead.
I'll just like to highlight the fact that men aren't the sole reason why woman wants to look good. for some looking good is their livelihood, for some, looking good is a boost of confidence. When you look good, you feel good. Its a psychological thing.
Migrating? Yes. I have. But its really alot easier said then done for me. Afterall it takes a tremendous amount of courage and resolve (and $$$) to uproot myself and relocate when everything I hold dear since the day I was born is here. There is no place like home, doctor :)
Aust med student:
Shaving was an example. I wax. Don't even get me going on the hassles and scars left behind by ingrowns.
And lucky for me, I'm one of those lucky few who hardly have PMS problems (ironically I'm having my period even as I type) but I can tell you honestly when I had PMS and fever at the same time, death is very much preferable. My sister is another classic case who has to go A&E because her menses costed her terrible pain. (turns out to be a cyst in her ovary. what kind of panadol can cure that?) I wont go on to quote other more gruesome examples from friends. You get the picture. Nothing much we can really do about it, but some extra tender loving care from people who matters *cough*husbands, bfs*cough* definitely helps alot.
and kudos to the guys who does.
As for looks, first impression always count. And believe me when guys do notice those details, its only whether they bother to mention it or not (notice Dr Oz noticed that his wife doesn't (need to?) shave?)
Guys are visual creatures, whether they admit it or not, and who will complain when their wives look good?
Please scroll up to see other reasons why woman wants to look good in this comment.
Like you said, they go for the whole package and you cant minus your looks from that package either. Would anyone seriously consider marrying a woman who looks like Gollum from LOTR?
Anyone who say looks does not matter is either Gandhi in the making or lying through his or her teeth.
btw, I want to make clear that I'm just airing my views and feelings on how troublesome and exhausting (both understatements) to be female and letting the guys know that it is indeed better to be male, in the physical sense.
I do not dislike being a woman, but neither am I estatic about being one. but yes, for a more hassle free life (and other reasons I rather not reveal here), I would chose to be a man.
Dr BL og, sorry for turning your comments section into a debating ground. If you find my comments totally irrelevant to your entry and blog, feel free to clear. :)
~inex
Hmmm do several penile erections in a day constitute an irritating hassle?
ReplyDeleteWhat about the problem with being too visual that when we see a sexy skimpily dressed woman we salivate excessively?
All these make me want to be a woman.
Just kidding.
Well C, I think you've made it very clear. You would prefer to have been a man.
I'm glad I am a man. :)