A Doc's Life is a underground Medical Blog about some poor Singapore doctors. They are sibei sian and very buay song. Best practices not observed!
(Warning: Grammar is non existent in this blog. Those obsessively compulsive about good English please go no further and book an appointment to see your psychiatrist in Singapore.)

Sunday, September 04, 2005

"HO! Please glove up!"

One day, during my surgical rotation, I was paged by my HO to see a case of bleeding piles. When I got to the ward, I saw my registrar coming out of the cubicle which was curtained up. She must have been examining the patient with my HO.

"BL, haven't examine the patient yet, you take over, buay tahan!" She said and left in a huff. Hmmm, maybe the newbie HO did something wrong again.

I was proven to be wrong when the HO came from behind the curtain sniggering away. Strange..... I asked her what happened.

"You see yourself loh, but don't laugh ah!" She said.

Puzzled, I pushed the curtains aside and stepped in with the HO. There laying on the bed
was a young man in his early twenties. He was hugging a teddy bear. Chey, the HO like that also find funny meh? I myself was a great fan of teddy bears just that in our society if a guy collected this kind of thing, sure kenna ridicued!

I then politely asked the young man to take off his pants while I put on my gloves and squeezed some KY jelly (lubricant) onto my (gloved) fingers. The KY jelly in the hospital always look so yellowish, maybe keep too long. All ready, I turned to look at the guy's perineal area (the ass lah) and had the shock of my life!!

He was actually wearing a sanitary pad! What the @#$#%~!

I took a look at my HO who on seeing my reaction was obviously trying not to laugh. The gay guy sheepishly told me "I was bleeding so I thought better wear a pad (giggles)"

Being the professional doctor that I was, I removed his pad (with wings) despite feeling extremely nauseated. There were some blood stains on the pad but at a lower position that it usually would be. Closer examination did not reveal any prolapsed piles and I will need to insert my fingers.

My nausea became worse at this point as thoughts raced through my head. What if he actually enjoyed my fingers the examination? Yeeooooow!!!

Since shit always gravitate downwards, I said,

"HO! Please glove up!"

23 comments:

  1. Hmm I've got a question. How does one gets infected with piles?

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  2. Anonymous5:11 PM

    hey feel u really bored. don't u need to spend time with your wife. how come you have so much time blogging?

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  3. Anonymous5:11 PM

    how much does a ho,mo,registrar,consultatnt etc roughly earns? care to share?

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  4. Pissed at anonymous7:27 PM

    Piles are not obtained from an infection. Rather, they are formed from the inner lining of your anal canal (I mean, everybody's anal canal has these things).

    In some people, the lining engorges and becomes too large and eventually protrudes as piles.

    There are some associated risk factors, eg. constipation, chronic coughing, etc. But infection is certainly not one of them (at least to my pitiful knowledge). ;)

    ----------------

    PS: I don't see what has blogging got to do with his wife? Stop making useless comments like that. For all you know, perhaps his wife enjoys reading his blogs.

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  5. You know what i think? It was lucky he chose a pad and not a tampon. Or else when u PR you might have pushed it right in. This is really hilarious. :D I would have chose tissue paper though...

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  6. You're evil! Abusing the HO! Hahaha!

    Interesting blog~ Keep it up! Never knew that a doc's life can be so interesting!

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  7. chimera9:28 PM

    Hi, I've enjoyed reading your past postings. With this one, I could empathise with the patient as I had a procedure for fistula done. After which, the nurses provided me with cotton pads but there was too much discharge still. I kept changing the cotton pad as the discharge kept staining the hospital bedsheet through my clothes. In the end, the nurse suggested using a sanitary pad when I returned home, if I felt comfortable enough. I didn't but I could see the practicality in it. I laugh at my own predicament but it's not the same kind of humour from this posting.

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  8. Anonymous9:39 PM

    y u kpo pple wanna noe how much ho, mo and reg earn..
    for ur knowledge, ho earns very little..even less than mcdonald pple by the hour.. tat is abt 3 bucks an hour..pitiful amount. so dun abuse us anymore! we only seem to earn a decent amount coz we work very long hours! y u all so kpo about other pple's private life too? no wonder u get relatives prying into patient's case notes and trying to pry from doctors. hmmpf!

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  9. Anonymous9:40 PM

    anyway, realli think u pple very busybody to find out how much pple earn. tat's a private matter altogether..

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  10. Anonymous9:40 PM

    anyway, realli think u pple very busybody to find out how much pple earn. tat's a private matter altogether..

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  11. hi chimera, its just for laughs, hope you din get offended!

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  12. bochapman10:11 PM

    reminds me of my recent health screening..like always the dreadful part was the rectum exam. God knows the doc inserted how many fingers up there...uncomfortable and embarrassing..!

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  13. Anonymous10:23 PM

    HAha this is one funny post. And being a past sufferer of piles, I can see the somewhat funny side to it. A guy nonetheless. hah!

    -jaded-

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  14. chimera12:04 AM

    Hi dr bl og, not offended. I still enjoy reading your postings. Keep writing!

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  15. Anonymous12:12 AM

    hm....so interesting. funny how insane some patients can get.

    and some of the senior consultants can be pretty retarded too. And not to mention the crazy nurses...esp those old matrons....so cranky n bad-tempered.

    btw, nurses are also quite mad too....they even bring some of their insaneness back. just like my mum....actaully inserted her fingers into my sister's anus when she got constipation. dunno for wad oso...

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  16. Thnks pissed at anonymous for ans my qn :)

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  17. you won't believe i was having supper while reading this entry.

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  18. Queen2:52 AM

    dr bl og, you're married?! wah lau, i thought you are single. wahahhaa. i love ur entries.

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  19. Anonymous10:07 AM

    EEEwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    - prettyhazy

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  20. ARGH! TOO MUCH INFO!

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  21. Heys Dr Bl Og, your entries are really amusing and interesting. I'm glad I stumbled upon your site... this is great!

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  22. Precious stuff! Keep it up! This entry was quite entertaining!

    Teddy bears and sanitary pads, lol!

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  23. that was hilarious!!
    wahaha!

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