Cross Breeding

A doctor-doctor relationship invariably breaks down when the man doctor realizes the woman doctor has no intention to give up her practice to start a family. Of course those female chavinist will argue: "Why not the man give up his career???" But we all know very well that if the man did that, he will still lose his woman. Who are we kidding, DOH!

While its attempts at inbreeding might have failed, the fish does not swim far beyond its pond to look for a new prey. It usually cross breeds with other species within the hospital same pool of water.

By natural selection, nurses become the target of choice. Of course we are not talking about senior senior senior staff nurses like Suzie and Wuzie here (read this). Those belong in our hall of fame simply on the terms of their antiquity. We are talking about young and pretty little Missies just fresh from nursing school. Let Dr Og warn you here that there ARE wolf-doctors in sheepskins preying on these young impressionable girls. Though on the same note, there are girls who became nurses with the sole aim of marrying a doctor. Of course these blacksheeps belong to the minority and are prolly regressive individuals who never got beyond uniform fetishism.

The majority of doctors are really just dorks when it comes to the affairs of the heart. However don't we just LOVE those protocols and clinical pathways! Allow Dr Og to guide you with the all new, validated Og's Pathway of Finding True Love In Hospital:

Step 1: Research
I'm not trying to ask you to go and get a PI to investigate the girl lah . Background research is essential to find out if the ger is already attached (means no hope liao) or if she is even remotely interested. The best way is to ask the other nurses (never mind being laughed at!). One of my colleague made the mistake of asking a soft spoken Staff Nurse for a date without first finding out that she did not like short plumbish doctor with receding hairline who are 10 years older than herself. She screamt her head off and ran away.

Step 2: Induction
In kindergarten, you expressed your love by pulling the girl's hair. You can very much do the same in the wards though Dr Og really doubt that the nurse you are interested in will appreciate it very much. Try instead to induce some feelings by arguing about why the patient required hourly monitoring or refusing to set a new plug for the one she had dislodged again.

Step 3: Reconciliation
If you successfully created some sparks with the man-made friction and avoided getting yourself burnt with a complaint, you know you can proceed further. Now is the time to buy her some hot drinks from the vending machine during the cold and lonely night calls. She will appreciate the fact that you remember her despite a busy call though you really just wanted to do things on the sly for fear of getting ridicued!

Step 4: Look, Listen, Feel
Look to see if she recipocrate. Suddenly, your plugs stop dislodging mysteriously and your morning bloods are all taken.
Listen for any rumours or gossips amongst her jie mei. If she is to reject you, it is likely she will be broadcasting your antics as a joke to the whole world.
Feel. Not asking you to feel her all over! At this stage, you will just end up arrested. Feel instead for the vibes!

Step 5: Group therapy
Things are going your way but you are shy and she is shy. So how? It is now time to invite other doctors and nurses for an outing in a group. You can ask her for her handphone number on the pretext of the outing. This will be a chance for you to get to know her outside the hospital setting. (And also to see if she looks good in something other than her uniform!)

Step 6: Individual Therapy
During the group outings, create some opportunities to be with her alone. Volunteer to drive her home. Set up the next date with her alone! You are almost done!

Step 7: Boundary Setting
Like the cat, you must set up boundaries and declare the territory yours. Unlike the cat, urintating is not going to work. Set up a spy network of doctors and nurses to monitor for any invading enemies. If you find any other doctors trying step 1 to 6 with your ger, bring him to one corner and sort things out. If not, get your friends to blanket him (provided he is more junior than you)!

Attempts to bluff xiao mei mei to the call room in your birthday suit will earn you an automatic expulsion from the faternity!